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cutiepi92's avatar

[NSFW] What do you and your partner do after intimacy?

Asked by cutiepi92 (2252points) July 7th, 2013

I didn’t really know how to word the question, so maybe my description will help. I know after sex, many people have what is called “afterglow”. I have experienced this as well with my partner, but there is a little something that confuses me and makes me think we are doing something wrong. After sex, there is always cleanup. I don’t like sitting there with you know…...“the result” on me or running down my legs or whatever. During the act it’s sexy and whatnot but after it’s over I have to clean it off lol. In movies and such people have sex and then sigh and just lay there with each other; there is no tissue or running to the bathroom or throwing stuff away or wiping stuff off. It’s just…..peace. And we have that peace after cleaning up and whatnot, but I was wondering if maybe the whole after-sex thing works the way it does in movies with other couples? Like afterwards do you just lay there and bask in your mutual sexual satisfaction or is it like “uh….honey…...can you throw the condom away now?” lol

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32 Answers

Bellatrix's avatar

We usually snuggle up and go to sleep. Unless we have to go to work and then we snuggle and then get up and shower. Yeah things can be messy but we wash, sheets wash… works for us both.

filmfann's avatar

Go back to trying to chew through the ropes.

zenvelo's avatar

Usually there’s not much concern about any spunk on our bodies or on the sheets. Yes, there is a wet spot but it’s usually not that big a deal and I’ll sleep on it if she doesn’t want to.

If one is using a condom, there is condom disposal to take care of. And I’ll usually pee just to clean out all my tubes.

I have had lovers that would wash me off with a warm (not hot) washcloth. One of them did it as a post coital ritual.

cutiepi92's avatar

@zenvelo hmm that sounds like a good idea, the whole washcloth thing

Idk I just have this personal thing about feeling “sticky”. So I want to see if there is a way to make the after stuffs a wee bit less awkward.

Simone_De_Beauvoir's avatar

We have tissues ready, by the bed, or wherever. If we don’t have them ready, he goes and gets them. Sometimes, we continue to more sex, sometimes we don’t. Sometimes, we lay and talk for awhile, sometimes he goes to sleep and I turn the TV on until I’m ready to go to bed.

harangutan's avatar

The first person to get out of bed is the designated towel grabber. I’ve had enough yeast infections in my life to know that keeping myself clean and dry is the best thing to do.

Blueroses's avatar

Movies also don’t show the “Ow, ow! You’re on my hair!” or “My arm is going numb.” or the vase falling off the headboard and the subsequent giggle fits.

I’m in the can’t relax until sticky is cleaned up camp.

Dr_Lawrence's avatar

I always get a towel that is warm and moist and one end and freshen up my partner amd then myself. Then we cuddle until my back makes staying in a regular bed too painful. I then retreat to my hospital-type bed after kissing her goodnight.

cutiepi92's avatar

@Blueroses lol yay I’m not the only one!
the ow ow you’re on my hair thing has happened way too many times lol

RamonParada's avatar

Same situation, as soon as we finish my main concern is to throw the condom away and clean myself up. however my girlfriend could just stay in bed for hours without washing herself. having baby wipes around always comes in handy.

livelaughlove21's avatar

He has virtually no clean-up, but I do. I’m very succeptible to yeast infections and other forms of vaginal irritation, so I’m not lying there letting condom lube and other fluids just sit there and make me itchy. He takes the condom off, hands it to me, and I run to the bathroom to toss it and wash all the goo off of myself. Then I’ll come back to bed. At that point, we might do the cuddling/talking thing or we might just go watch TV or get on our phones and go about our normal activities. There’s nothing movie-like about it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to lie in a wet spot or be uncomfortable just to have an “afterglow.” People dramatize sex way too often.

ucme's avatar

Cup-A-Soup & show tunes.

JLeslie's avatar

When I was a teen we would usually roll over and go to sleep; or get up, clean up, and go eat something. I haven’t been with many different men, but guys who would get up and wash their dick afterwards really pissed me off back then.

In my 20’s I developed a lot of problems and now I try to make sure I get up and pee within 20 minutes of finishing having sex. I hate it. I hate that I need to think to do it. I hate that I need to drag myself out of bed if I just had late night or sleepy sex. I really really hate it. I spent the first 6 years of my sexual life never having to think about anything like that. The first three years I had sex almost every day, no problems.

LuckyGuy's avatar

I like to clean up after. That way I can truly relax.

Katniss's avatar

@RamonParada Baby wipes? What a great idea!!

Sometimes we get up and clean ourselves up, sometimes we don’t.
I’ve found that as I get older its better that I clean myself up afterwards because, as a couple of other Flutherettes have stated, those yeast infections are a bitch.

OpryLeigh's avatar

We usually just snuggle and go to sleep, I deal with the “clean-up” later on but I am not usually in a rush to do it there and then. The wet patch really doesn’t bother me either.

Headhurts's avatar

Same as @Leanne1986 said. We cuddle afterwards and then go to sleep. The wet patch doesn’t bother me at all. I think it would kill the mood if I suddenly got up and started wiping myself and the bed down. It’s part of the act that was just made.

livelaughlove21's avatar

…I’m confused about this wet patch. Maybe I’m not gushing with fluids when I should be, but the only time we have a wet patch is on the rare occasion that the contents of the condom somehow ends up on the bed.

Are the people with this wet patch people that don’t use condoms, or am I the only one that doesn’t have this issue?

Headhurts's avatar

@livelaughlove21 It is because you use condoms. If you didn’t, you would have a wet patch.

JLeslie's avatar

@livelaughlove21 I remember the first time I had sex with a condom, I was shocked how afterwards it was so void of the feeling of having had someone come in me. I thought to myself this is how it is for men, who just fuck, wash off their penis, and on to the next. The wet is what drips out afterwards. Some can come out just from withdrawing after coming.

livelaughlove21's avatar

Ah, so it is just for no condom users then. That makes more sense.

As for the void, I’d rather feel that than get pregnant. And relying on myself to take birth control exactly as I should isn’t a safe enough bet for me.

JLeslie's avatar

@livelaughlove21 I wasn’t recommending ditching the condoms. The first time I used a condom was about 5 years after I became sexually active, with my second sex partner, so there were all sorts of things going on. I had only had sex in a long term relationship before that, and this guy I had only been dating a few days.

livelaughlove21's avatar

@JLeslie Oh, I know. I was just saying. I have an irrational fear of pregnancy and he feels the same way. I’m glad I found a man that didn’t pull that, “condoms make me soft” or “they don’t fit” bullshit like a lot of my friends’ partners, because we wouldn’t be together today if he had. We’re doing things the right way – dating, marriage, house, education, and career ALL before babies. Still working on those last two, myself.

My motto: Always wear a condom, because you might end up with something terminal – like a child. :)

bookish1's avatar

Cuddle and eat glucose tablets if need be…
I’m in no hurry to wash off unless I need to get up and go somewhere soon.

LuckyGuy's avatar

Guys without prostates don’t leave a mess. Just throwing that out there.

josie's avatar

I always (try to) take a leak since I heard somewhere that was a healthy thing to do.
GF cleans up with a Kleenex and goes to sleep for about an hour. Then wakes up and wants to talk. Even if it is fucking midnight.

cutiepi92's avatar

Well this might be TMI, but currently I’m on BC and my partner comes “on” me rather than “in” me to be safe. I don’t like having his juice dripping down my legs or stomach. I can only imagine what it would feel like if he actually came inside. So other women just let it sit there and let it uh…..“simmer inside”? lol I don’t think I could ever do that…....I’d prolly get an infection and feel squishy >_<

harangutan's avatar

@cutiepi92 I hear ya. I prefer when my partner pulls out and comes on my belly. It’s easier to clean up. When he comes inside me some of it drips out about 10 to 20 minutes later and I end up needing to change my panties at least once if not twice. It’s so annoying.

Cupcake's avatar

Well, since I’m trying to get pregnant I lay still on my back and stay calm. I might elevate my pelvis. We hold hands and kiss and stroke arms. Sometimes we laugh, but that makes it hard to be still and calm. I occasionally forget and roll on my side to cuddle and then I have a mess to clean up. It doesn’t bother me until it gets cold. We keep toilet paper or baby wipes on the bedside tables. Usually I am in charge of dolling out clean-up supplies. When I am feeling generous, I clean both of us. We try to continue connecting for a bit afterwards.

Then he puts on his CPAP mask and goes to sleep.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

Two women and we fall asleep holding each other, usually. No wash up. We fall asleep with our inner thighs covered in sweet, sweaty goodness.

Raubhautz's avatar

The exact doings depend on the moment… There is always clean-up; In really intimate ‘sessions’ I like to have 2 warm wash-cloth’s nearby, where after the initial session, I would gently clean my woman as a sort of entry into the next foreplay and further sessions and my woman would likewise attend to me. Of course there are times in which we have been tired, but too horny to ‘just’ go to sleep, and we do the deed and just use a nearby towel, tossing it onto the floor afterward… ;)

girassol's avatar

Rapid clean up. And then cuddling (:
if we use condoms, I’ll dash to the loo and check for holes, because I’m paranoid like that.

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