What do you think about Dustin Hoffman's thoughts as he recalls the making of his movie Tootsie?

Wow, I think that’s a lovely video. I have never really concerned myself about how attractive a woman is. The three women I love the best in the world, none of them are beautiful, but they’re all lovely to me.

I think it’s sweet that he is obviously so disappointed in his behaviour prior to having this realisation. Do I think men (I would suggest people in general) ignore women who aren’t ‘attractive’? Yes. Not all women who could be called unattractive. I think some people have such strong personalities that their persona can outweigh their unattractiveness. However, I would suggest the norm is that women who are a. unattractive, b. older or/and c. overweight vanish. They become invisible. So, I think his observation is quite accurate but sad.

We have a situation going on over here where the female presenter of one of the breakfast shows has ‘resigned’ (raise eyebrows, cough, cough). We are meant to believe she has asked to take a low profile position with a major drop in pay. She’s been replaced by a sexier, younger woman. The women in question is neither unattractive or old (she’s in her 40s) but it would seem she’s too old for breakfast TV. Unlike her much older male host.

I saw that a few days ago and loved it. He really seems to have had an epiphany, and to genuinely regret what he missed out on in the past.

Do I care if I’m attractive? Yes, but much more so when I was younger. I’m too lazy to put much effort into it these days…I run around in t-shirts and jeans, no make-up, hair in a ponytail the vast majority of the time. I don’t feel ignored, though, but it may be because I will start a conversation with anyone. Hard to ignore the chatty girl, I guess! I still get hit on, and Mr. Hoffman would have missed out. ;)

I liked it so much that I posted it on my Facebook page.

Assuming that he’s not acting – and it doesn’t seem that way to me – I think that he points out something very important. Don’t make a decision about initiating a conversation based on someone’s looks. Just because they don’t meet your personal criteria of what attractive means, doesn’t mean you should discount them! That could be your new best friend or the potential love of your life.

I had this happen to me several times in college. My roommate was pretty and confident and would attract male attention like crazy. Some of these guys would either: A. Ignore me completely or B. Ask me to introduce them to her.

The sad reality is that the first impression you make on someone is usually based on your looks. Once people get past that then they can get to know who you are. But if they don’t bother getting past a less than impressive/desirable first impression, they – and you – can miss out.

(By the way, female.)

Male. This is a touching story but I don’t believe him. He is an actor and needed some press release to keep himself in the public eye. If he had such an epiphany making the movie why didn’t he say something then?
I don’t know his dating /mating preferences but I am willing to bet he picked pretty women.

Ugly men suffer the same way but cannot do anything about it. A shlubby, bald guy can’t put on make up or wear tight fitting clothes to detract from the visible ‘flaws’. Granted, it is not as bad as for women it is still there.

Anyone want to bet he has a movie coming out within in a year?

Oh you cynic you @LuckyGuy. I did think the same thing. I hope we’re wrong. I’d rather believe he was sweet.

I don’t listen to anything celebrities have to say. Dustin Hoffman is a has been and really isn’t a very good actor.

@Bellatrix It is the nature of the beast. All celebrities, actors, and politicians must remain in the public eye or else they desiccate. He seems to take the high road (no drug or alcohol outbursts or wild infidelity) so he needed something else in advance of his next venture. (Start your stopwatch.)

By the way, I believe the message. But it is as old as the hills: “You can’t judge a book by its cover.” He timed it just right to strike a chord with the aging baby boomer population. I wonder what his personal staff looks like. Do you think his office is staffed by ugly middle aged men and women? I’m guessing, no.

Wow. His reaction when they said, “This is as good as it gets….” yeah.
Women do bear a stigma when they aren’t beautiful, even long past their child-bearing years. Look at all the saggy boob “jokes” out there.

I don’t know @Bellatrix and @Lucky Guy. It was located on a relatively obscure website and it dates from late 2012. But we’ll see.

@LuckyGuy , sad truth is, that there IS something an ugly guy can do. Ugly guys get more and more attractive the more money they make. It’s sad but true.

I was touched when I saw it yesterday. As a man I was guilty of all that when I was younger. I went to a university that was 60% women, about half of them good looking southern California blondes, and we men became very picky and critical. But about half way through I realized I was close friends with women that weren’t the top beauties/knock out gorgeous ones, but the ones whose inner beauty shone forth, and that they were the most attractive to me.

It was about that time i realized that most people can make an effort to make themselves attractive, and if they do so it pays off; women, men, young, old. Get healthy, dress neatly, do the emotional work to love yourself and be strong, do all that work and it will make you stand head and shoulders above the crowd and be not only attractive but downright sexy.

Male here. I was touched by the passion that Dustin Hoffman displayed even now for a project long since completed. He’s definitely right, too. Not just males, but society in general puts too much emphasis on the outer beauty of women and girls, thus often overlooking the inner beauty and intelligence some more homely females possess. But if I were discussing that realization with my wife, it would be a very bad idea to explain my angst by telling her, ”...[T]here’s too many interesting women that I have not had the experience to know in this life…”

LOL! VERY bad idea!

LOL @ETpro I was thinking the same thing!

I was recently listening to NPR and Dustin Hoffman was on talking about his career and this movie. It was really interesting when he was talking about how he’d be in costume and other people on set would bring people by to try and trick them and how guys would just blow him off and not even care because he was “ugly”

Maybe he wants to fuck Mrs Doubtfire dressed as Tootsie…kinky!

Woman here. This is something that I’ve known for years. For me I noticed that I was paid more attention to when I had makeup on and I was dressed nicely. I went through a few years when I was depressed and hip deep in snotty kids. I also didn’t wear makeup and was wearing child friendly clothing. I definitely felt more invisible but I kind of liked that.

My sister has taken a stance where she refuses to wear makeup BECAUSE of this phenomena.

My kids are older now and I can wear clothes that I like and I look good in. I also usually wear makeup now (minimal amounts). And yes, I do notice that people glance my way more. For example: I was recently at the bank with my sisters and father figuring out some crappy stuff going on with him. My one sister and I were looking through paperwork sitting to one side in the branch. I had one woman who actually caught my eye and said, “Hello” as she shuffled up to do her banking. She wouldn’t have said that had I been dressed differently.

This brings up interesting questions for me. Should I feel bad because a get a lot of attention when I’m done up? Should I take the stance my sister has and protest through not doing myself up?

@tranquilsea Your point touches on what I have said before, that almost anyone can look attractive with make-up, hair, and clothing. I do put on make-up, style my hair, and dress nicely when I am going to be asking for something. I did it last Thursday knowing I would be asking for an upgrade at a hotel. As I prettied myself up my husband said, “what are you doing? We are going to be in the hot sun in Seaworld half the day.” I told him I was going to ask for an upgrade, and he kind of rolled his eyes. We did get an upgrade to a very large corner room with a view of the park if we wanted to watch the fireworks from our room rather than the park. I am a silver status with Marriott, so that might also have some influence, but I think it all mattered.

Last Sunday we were watching Wimbeldon and my SIL commented that Murray’s mom was ugly before. She said she had been made over and that now my SIL thinks there aren’t ugly and pretty people, but poor and rich.

I thought it was touching, and worth sharing.

I think it is funny that he naturally assumed he would be a good looking woman! Let’s face it he isn’t the most classically attractive leading man ever. I did think what he learned (if he truly did learn what he claims – I, like @LuckyGuy, am dubious) is important and unfortunately the truth.

I do notice a huge difference in the attention I get just by wearing contact lenses instead of glasses! I really do think I am treated better and get more attention with contacts. I have also noticed it now that I have let my grow out gray. I think because of the gray most people think of me as an old lady and aren’t that interested in speaking to me. The other thing that I think is interesting is that in my library there is another woman with gray hair and glasses and we get confused for each other all the time! I suppose when we aren’t gussied up we all just blend together.

@tranquilsea FWIW I think a woman without make-up is far more beautiful than one that wears make-up.

Lo and behold, the clip was mentioned on ABC news tonight. So @YARNLADY, you and @JLeslie were far from the only people who thought it worth sharing.

@ETpro There you go. The team of publicists were worth the money. Drum roll for the next project announcement. I am such a cynic.