Men: Do you expect to have sex on a first date?
Asked by
JLeslie (
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July 11th, 2013
Maybe you try on the first date, but do you really expect her to go along with it? Expect can be interpreted a couple ways. One, you assume she will have sex with you, because you have come to expect sex on a first date. The other is you think she kind of owes it to you, and if she doesn’t you see her as a tease, leading you on, or using you for a meal.
If she doesn’t want to have sex does it influence whether you will ask her out for a second date?
Have you changed over time with your expectation? Different at age 20 than 40?
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No, I don’t. I want to get to know her and learn her likes and dislikes, and let her get to know me. That makes the sex so much better. When we’re really communicating it’s amazing. Not to say sometimes I just feel like a quick piece of ass, but those times are very infrequent. Oh crap, does that mean I’m over the hill? XD
I’m old, I don’t expect sex anytime and am very happy when it happens.
No. Or even the second. Possibly the third or fourth depending on how the first two went. But often more than that.
Nope. And seeing how I can never get more than one date I don’t expect to ever have sex again.
Teens to Late 20s: I had hoped, but then I would have viewed her as a neighborhood bicycle; everyone gets a ride. She would be one of those girls you spoke about only in locker rooms, not with family. The girl you’d take home, the keeper, would not give it up any time short of putting in 6 months of dutiful B/F work. She would not even let you anywhere near 2nd base less than 8 weeks.
Mid 20s to mid 40s: Would not have expected it, but would be in no way surprised if she was willing to give up like that.
Mid 40s on: No, and even if she offered she would be declined; unless there is a ring on her finger I put their she is not getting my dumbstick ringed by her sugar walls.
Oh, hell no. I never did. But I got it sometimes, anyway.
No, but I accepted it willingly…which was nice.
Depends who pays for dinner. :-)
@whitenoise..lol .thanks for your honesty!! I know you are joking but some men really think that way…. men seem to know instantly if they want to have sex with a women but women may need more time to develop an attraction so there seems to be that ongoing tension in the beginning… I guess that is just human nature or something…
@bahamamama The question is not about if they want to have sex, it is about if they expect it, and pretty much they all answered so far how I would expect. Any girl who thinks she should or has to have sex on the first date is wrong. She is assuming the wrong thing about what the guy thinks.
No and it has never happened either.
When I was dating I didn’t expect sex at all. It was a great thing when it happened. I hate the idea of pressuring a girl for sex, especially on the first date that’s just stupid.
I’m not even expecting a first date. :(
Actually with this guy it’s the opposite, for it is usually the girl who pressures me to have sex. I guess that I don’t get turned on the same way that many other guys do since I need to form a comfortzone and emotional connection first. Obviously this would be a nonissue for me concerning planning a second date.
@Paradox25 I completely understand. I might fantasize about a girl that I just met but if she pressured me to have sex on the first date there wouldn’t be a second. Believe it or not, guys have feelings too and all of us aren’t out to have sex with as many people as possible. This goes for most of the gay guys I know too. They might flirt but most don’t expect sex on the first date. In fact, if they do expect sex, that’s a good reason to stay away from them. Who knows what STD they might have ?
When I was in my twenties, I wouldn’t say that I expected to have sex on the first date, but I certainly wasn’t surprised when this happened. Sex on the first date happened more often than not. This was pre-AIDS 1970s. Nowadays, it would surprise me. I don’t know if it is because of the change in age group, or that the times have changed, but I suspect both. Everything seems more conservative these days and people get more cautious as they age.
I always sort of hope the girls will give me at least one date of breathing room before I have to meet the expectation. But the way things are going, they seem to always demand it. I wish they would go a little more slowly. Makes me feel less like a drone.
When I was dating women I never expected it but I didn’t hesitate when it happened.
What does the day of the month have to do with it?
First and last date… Which coincidentally are often the same date.
I expect cheesecake on a first date. lol Yep, another 70’s person here too, pre-Aids, and women initiated the sex more often than not, I know I did and yes, sometimes I expected it! lol
I don’t think any guy I went out with expected sex on the first date. Except for my husband, because that was the actual purpose of our first date. I asked him, btw. Some of them got it anyway, and nobody seemed disappointed in that outcome.
Just staring out again after a long break. Will report back…. nope, probably won’t.
The men expecting that were jerks in my opinion. I hope they found what they were looking for but it wasn’t me. Not to be putting myself on a high horse by any means. lol
never ever have sex on a first date, unless YOU are only wanting that, there are a lot of women who do
The guys in their 30s 40s never expect it in my experience, it puts way too much pressure on them
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