How can I deal with pressure my parents put on me?

Do the ROTC thing and get your officer’s commission. If you don’t like it you can resign, I think. At least the military isn’t going to treat you like a shitbird. You would be a great asset. And get to not be under your parents influence. Travel.

Smoke pot. Mark Zuckerberg had the same confidence as you, in his intellect. And he’s known to smoke pot.

Michael Phelps is known to smoke pot. Heck if the most arguably greatest Olympian of all time does it, why doesn’t everyone :P

I’m guessing you’re Korean?? I am, and my parents tell me that, too. Ahah it’s funny, and I just ignore them. Use it as a motivation. You’ll get a good job and tell them “Am I a piece of shit now?”

What your parents seem to lack is the skill of being supportive. Go to your local book store and pick up a book or two about being supportive, about being a good coach, about being an effective parent. Tell them they have done a great job in making you into someone who is interested in excelling in school and in your studies but that they need to improve their methods of encouragement if they want to give you the best possible chance. Let them know that you have grown out of their current methods which now only serve to throw you off your game and do not assist you in your goals of world domination. Let them know that while they are failing you now that you see hope for them to mature in their methods and that there are many many lessons to be learned through practical research and study on what the world’s best coaches and parents and teachers do to support their pupils.

Tell them their methods may work in a different context which neither of you have the luxury of living in. So, they will have to upgrade their approach to match the context you are in or else risk being only a burden to you.

Regardless their complain.
If you have confidence in yourself, then work hard and prove it to yourself.
Do not waste time in persuading others, they are just waiting to see what you could do.
So try hard, if you believe in that you can do it, then you can do it!

Print out an article for them that explains why it’s impossible for people to motivate other people. The only thing other people can do is remove obstacles for developing motivation. So your parents seem to actually increase the obstacles which is counterproductive. Tell them about all the obstacles you perceive. Ask them to remove them one by one.

My dad tried to motivate me by asking things like, “Why didn’t you get a 100%?” when I would bring home tests with 98 or 99%. I think that he was trying to get a rise out of me by activating an “I’ll show you!” attitude. It backfired and all I could think was, “Why wasn’t a 99% good enough?” That led me down a very negative path that I am still trying to get off.

The only thing I can say is to ask them to try some positive motivation. I don’t know that they will, but it’s worth a shot to ask. Other than that, all I can say is do your best to block their negativity in your mind.

I have a friend that grew up in the same situation.
He’s 25 now and his dad still treats him like that. He has a teaching degree and recently found a job teaching at a college. It’s still not good enough.
I don’t understand why any parent would do that to their child. I would never do that.
Encouragement and unconditional love go a long, long way.

I’m really sorry @johnyoung @kimchi that you have to deal with this. It’s unfair.

I think it is very unfortunate that your parents do not support you. Try to get pleasure out of your achievements on your own and stop trying to please your parents.

I’d like to tell you to ignore your parents and find your own self-worth, but I know how difficult (impossible?) that is to do at age 15. You’re legally a child, so your parents still control you. They’re a domineering and authoritative force with tremendous power. You can’t simply walk away and exclude them from your life.

A few thoughts and suggestions:

- Your parents can’t take away your own achievements. Continue to study and get good grades, and keep on exceling at extra-curricular activities. Have the satisfaction of knowing that you do good things and do them well.

- Whenever your parents ridicule and demean you, just think the words, “I’m a winner, and you can’t make me a loser.” Make that your internal mantra, and repeat it as needed.

- Try to put some emotional distance between you and your parents. You can’t move out of their home, but you can build some protective barriers. If you tend to confide in them and ask for their advice, maybe you should do that less often. You can get involved in activities (join a new club, play a different sport, or volunteer and do community service) without telling them your plans or how you’re spending your time. This may seem harsh, but not all parents have the ability to be warm and supportive. If your parents are the least bit insightful, maybe they’ll find a connection between your reticence and their constant belittling.

Words can be more painful than fists. Words leave invisible bruises and scars that never heal. I truly hope that you can minimize your own damage and grow into a happy, self-confident adult.