My Relationship/Marriage: What do I do?

If you get married right away, wouldn’t she qualify for an expedited visa as the wife of a Spansh citizen? Don’t worry about a wedding, you can do that after; just get married.

@janbb We can’t marry right away, it is likely to take another 90 to 120 days.

It’s hard for me to respond helpfully, since you know so much more about details that I will never know, and therefore can’t evaluate. For example, what’s involved (this is a rhetorical question) in getting a Taiwanese marriage recognized by Spain, the UK or the rest of the European Union? It seems to me that if this had been a realistic option you would have already done it before your girlfriend / fianceé “escaped” there to be with you.

It also seems difficult to me to comprehend the difficulty that you face in simply “getting married” either civilly or in a church wedding, in Spain or the UK. Again, those are details that I’ll never face, so it’s unlikely that I can give a helpful response. What makes you think the process would be any better if your girlfriend leaves and then returns again?

Finally, what are the penalties she would face (and perhaps you, too) if you simply ignore the visa restriction – as so many do, and so routinely – and she simply stays with you and out of sight for a while after her visa expires?

@CWOTUS If she leaves and comes back, she can come back for longer, with a longer permission.

The problem is, the process is slow here, and all the officials just shrug and don’t have answers to any questions about where to go or what to do in what order, you need to research it all alone, and there is a 3 way language barrier to get over.

We can marry, with no problem, but it takes time.

2 weeks to get the papers.
2 weeks to translate them all.
1 month to get them notarized.
3 weeks to have them exposed in the town hall for all to see before the wedding.
1 to 3+ months to get a ceremony date.

We are almost at the end of step 2, with only 2 months to go. We will keep pushing, and we can maybe do it in time, but each day that passes it looks more and more likely we wont be married in time,

If she comes back, she can come back with a visa for 180 days, rather than 90 days, and we can come back and hit the ground running, with a good idea of what we are in for.

Alternatively, if I go to Taiwan, I can go there with the same long stay visa, and marry there.

I’ll be back later, got to go work, ill be thinking.

Boy, this kind of BS makes me so mad at the state.
From the timeline you just posted above, it does sound like you are running out of time to get all of these bureaucratic hurdles over with. You might get 4 out of 5 of the steps done and then realize that her visa is almost up, in which case all of the previous work would be in vain, right?

What will life be like for your girlfriend if she moves back to Taiwan for 3 months? Bearable? Will her parents again try to control her and pressure her out of this relationship, and will she have to escape them again by some subterfuge? I think these are very important considerations as you are figuring out what to do.

Can you come over here and get married in Vegas? It only takes a few hours there.

I was going to suggest something similar to what @Judi said, although even in Vagas you will need translated documents to English I think with an official type thing of some sort. Can you get married faster on a cruiseship?

Have you consulted with a lawyer. In America, a lot of the time as long as papers are filed with immigration for consideration the person can stay in the country while decisions are pending.

In the US don’t civil marriages by a JP take days, not weeks? Is there a similar system in Spain?

Is there any way you can book the ceremony now? Is there only one kind of official who can perform it, or are there several? Could you make appointments with a few, and ask for a special favour because of your limited time together?

I have no help to offer, but since this is in social, I send you my heartfelt support and hope everything turns out well.

Personally I like the Cruise ship idea, with Captain of ship can perform service at sea.

You guys wouldn’t happen to be Roman Catholic by any chance? According to this site it is an easier process. A civil ceremony won’t be necessary if married by the church.

Apparently, ships’ captains don’t actually have the ability to perform marriages, unless they are otherwise ordained. That’s an old (captain’s) wives’ tale.

I Googled “fast weddings Europe” and this was one of the sites that came up. There were other references to express weddings in Denmark. If Spain is cumbersome, it may make sense to do a quickie wedding elsewhere in Europe.

Not to be too crude or vulgar here (in a non-sexual way), and I certainly don’t expect a response in clear text, but… have you tried bribing the relevant officials? Things don’t always work in all parts of the world the way the laws are written on paper.

@CWOTUS Probably not worth the risk, if he ends up approaching the wrong sort.

Oh, there’s ways and there’s ways. In some countries one needs to hire “agents” and “facilitators” for all sorts of things, without a very firm grasp of exactly what is being done, and how it’s accomplished. I don’t think that a foreign national should ever approach an individual official (and even less, “a group of officials”), but if you can find the right agent with the right connections and then stand away from the process… maybe.

Yes, it involves some risk, including the risk that you’d be paying for nothing at all. But we’re talking about a marriage, after all. What’s a bigger risk than that?

Hi all, sorry for the delay, I have been working.

@bookish1 If she goes back to Taiwan, she would be living with a friend. She has actually come a long way in the last month, now that she has some freedom.

@judi We can indeed get married in Vegas, however she would then need to return to Taiwan anyway, as she would not be allowed back in to the country for a couple of weeks or so, until I can get the American marriage recognized by the Spanish government.

@glacial We can’t apply for another couple of weeks yet. Not until the notarized papers come back. and there are no favors or jumping the line. We can only get married in this town, as that is where we are registered. However, there is still the church, I have to go see him tomorrow morning, see how fast he could marry us.

@Pandora Technically I am almost roman catholic, I have almost finished the converting process, praise jebus!. It is much easier indeed, the problem is the priest has had me jumping through hoops for 6 months without much progress. I even woke up at 5am on Easter to help him crucify a chubby teenage Jesus down by the beach, and I am still not much closer. I will know more tomorrow on the church front of thing. Last week he was away at the Vatican because of the whole new pope thing.

@CWOTUS I have offered to contribute to the churches funds once I “have more free time and money”. and I have been told that this is “very nice of me, wink wink”, the church thing still has some life in it, but last I knew he was out of the country with no warning, so I will see if he is around tomorrow. I do know however, that even the church path still has paper work, and we have just shy of 2 months left now.

@glacial Here in Spain, traffic fines tend to be a lot lower if you are willing to pay cash on the spot.

If you go to Vegas ill come over and be a witness. :-)

:-( damn bureaucracy! Are you a British citizen? Are the regulations there easier?

I don’t know anything about the legal/procedural situations you’re facing to suggest more than that. I feel for you both though. I hope you can get married soon. We all want to attend your virtual wedding.

If you get married in Vegas does she have to go back to her country? Can she just wait it out in America on a toursit visa? I only ask because the flight is long and expensive to Asia and then back to Spain. I think when I got married in FL it only took a couple of days if you want to look at states that are closer to Spain. States in the northeast US are an even shorter flight than Florida and might be less expensive if that matters at all.

(I think I posted a site for Europe that would be much closer and cheaper than Vegas.)

@janbb I missed it, great idea. I hope that can work.

I don’t really have anything to add, seeing as you’ve gotten some great advice already.
I do wish you the very best of luck! I know how hard it is to be away from the one you love. I don’t wish that on anybody.
Good luck and keep us posted!!

Update: It looks like we are going to Denmark for a 24 hour express marriage some time next month, I am not too sure yet, but we are now leaning towards that idea, it depends what the priest says.

Great!

I hope it works out well for both of you!

Yay!

Very exciting. Best wishes to you both!

Well, after a long talk, it looks like we are going to see if we can organize the trip to Denmark in time. However, there is now an alternative plan, that is easier on our finances.

I will ask another question that will explain it all.

See: Can you see any flaw in this marriage plan?

Warning, it is long.

@poisonedantidote I had no idea it was possible to get an express wedding like that in Denmark. That’s pretty cool. Anyway, I hope you’ll enjoy your 24 hours if you come.