NSFW - For those of you in a long term relationship, are your sexual encounters scheduled or do they occur randomly?

If you have a schedule you are probably having pretty horrible sex. It shouldn’t be on the same level as dusting the bookcases.

I have never added it to my Google Calender.

My guy and I have been together for about six years, and have been married for a little over one. Does that count as a long term relationship these days? :)

Well, I always know when we’ll be having sex, so it’s never spontaneous for me. If I shave that day, sex is likely. If I don’t, it ain’t gonna happen. He’s ready for sex anytime, but it’s “understood” that it usually happens on the weekend unless I’m on my period (no period sex for us, thanks).

On weekdays, he gets up at 4:30AM to go to work. In other words, morning sex isn’t gonna happen. I’m happily snoozing until 7ish. He gets home around 5PM, and this is when I start dinner. We’ll eat, I’ll clean up, and we’ll watch some TV until 7PM when it’s time to hit the gym for an hour. Once we get home and get showered, it’s 9PM, the time he needs to go to sleep in order to get functional at 4:30AM. Fitting in “spontaneous sex” isn’t really an option.

As for clothing – I’ll usually wear a cuter pair of underwear than I might wear during the week, but I don’t do any lace/silk/etc. Flattering underwear makes me feel better about myself, which makes the sex life better. We have sex in pitch black darkness, so my underwear doesn’t really do much either way for him.

We’re very vanilla. I don’t have a very high libido, so vanilla works for me.

We probably have sex five or six nights (or mornings) out of seven when we are together so it’s not exactly spontaneous as I am always expecting it but we don’t schedule it either, it just happens. We have been together about 7 years. We are usually already naked as it’s quite often last thing at night or first thing in the morning. If we do have random daytime sex it is never planned so I don’t have time to think about what I am going to wear for the occassion.

When my ex and I were both working at the same school, we often scheduled a lunch-at-home date during the week. It was nice; cleanliness trumped underwear, which was disgarded and irrelevant. And only a five minute drive so no one noticed we were gone, for about the length of one class period.

Given our jobs,starting very early in the AM, and the kids (two living at home, three often with us) and our general exhaustion, making time for us was wonderful.

The rest was catch-as-catch can. We both really liked afternoon sex.

Mostly unscheduled when in relationships, sometimes playful hints and building towards an encounter later in the day, evening. At this time however, I can clearly remember the last date I planned on having sex. Dec. 31, 2008.
Yeah, ring in the New Year with a big bang. lol

When you are with one person for a long time your activities usually become routine. There’s nothing horrible about that, especially when the sex is great.

Some combination of the two.

Scheduled sex is a complete turn off & totally against the spirit of what sex should be, wild/spontaneous/passionate & instinctive.
Just not when the kids are around that’s all.

Scheduled sex is not really a bad thing. I like my afternoon sex, though, and I usually have to get him in the mood for that, whereas he likes the morning and it’s the other way around.

Morning breath is a huge mood killer for me. Do you morning people brush first?

It’s not really morning breath. It’s usually that I’m still tired in the morning. Lol.

What’s up with the poking you at 3 am to have sex thing? If it’s 3 AM and I’m sleeping, it means I’m SLEEPING. Guys, can you relate to this?

@sparrowfeed I’m not a guy, but I can relate. Wake me up to have sex and you might end up with a very angry wife on your hands.

@livelaughlove21 Funnily enough my boyfriend and I were discussing the whole morning breath thing the other day and it became quite obvious that neither of us notice it on each other. We have morning sex a lot with the same amount of kissing as any other time and it has never been an issue. Ok, it’s not as fresh as it would be after a brush but it’s not unpleasant either.

@Leanne1986 Lucky you. I don’t know about him, but I know I always wake up with an unpleasant taste in my mouth that I’d never consider subjecting another human being to. I brush my teeth before I even pee in the morning – I can’t stand the thought of having bad breath. I don’t mind the end-of-the-day “I haven’t brushed since this morning” breath, but morning breath is a no-no for this girl.

I also don’t feel very sexy in the morning. Not a drop of makeup, hair a mess, prickly legs and arm pits….nah, not sexy at all. I prefer night-time sex, myself.

But to each their own. :)

I have a very high sex drive and my boyfriend not as high. I am up for it whenever, wherever. We don’t plan for it but like @livelaughlove21 has said, if I shave, we will do. But saying that we don’t plan sex, I do give oral sex most Fridays. I don’t know why, just the way it’s gone. Knowing what he’s getting, he is exciting quite early on in the evening!

Because of the kids, if they’re taking place at home, there will be a time when they can occur once they fall asleep. If we’re in a hotel or on vacation, which we try to do often, it’s spontaneous.

Scheduled sex is a big turn off for me. Spontaneous is my preference. I don’t usually do anything special as far as panties or fancy lingerie goes because as I said, it’s random, never planned out. So there’s no time for worrying about whether my bra matches my undies that night. I like to just get caught up in the moment and let it happen. That’s always the best I think.

In my previous marriage, it was both. With three young kids at home and a very busy life, sometimes you need a damn schedule! There’d be some spontaneous stuff, too, but that schedule was sometimes the only way to make sure you were getting any at all. The only thing special I did was try to shave my legs. Didn’t always happen, and fuzzy legs were never a deal-breaker.

My kids are older now and don’t live here full-time, so in this marriage it’s all spontaneous.

(22 years of marriage) Very random. If we try to schedule, it almost never happens. Inevitably, our big “date” gets trumped by other plans, or one of us is too tired or distracted, or there’s a really great baseball game on TV… But, when things are spontaneous, they’re FABULOUS!

25 years married here and it’s always been spontaneous and random. I don’t think we’ve ever once scheduled it in advance.