How do I go about settling this problem?
So a while back I stayed at my girlfriends house for a couple days because of an argument I had with my mom. Those couple of days went great! Or so I thought. One of those nights I was fixing their desktop computer, and doing some finishing touches, and I had my girlfriends laptop next to the desktop because I wanted to listen to music without worrying about slowing down the desktop PC so that I could get what I was doing over with. Everyone was asleep, so I needed headphones. I opened a drawer on the desk, and went through it to look for some headphones. As I was doing so my girlfriends mom came out to get some water and came across me looking through the desk drawer. She said nothing at the time, so I wasn’t worried.
A week goes by, and I get a text from my girlfriend saying that she was breaking up with me because she was told by her mom that there were fraudulent charges on her step dads credit card. Her mom automatically suspected it was me. She assumed while everyone was in bed, I snuck around looking through the drawers stealing information from them. The same day her mom caught me looking through the desk, I cleaned it, dusted the computer and organized everything on the desk and I vacuumed. It was pretty messy. There were papers that were apparently important on the desk, I had no Idea, I just put them all in a manilla envelope i found.
She used the night she came across me looking through a drawer, and the fact that I cleaned the desk as evidence and proof that I did it.
I have tried talking to the mom, but she just thinks I am a liar and a thief. I was blown away! I have never been accused of something so serious in my life. I also kept telling them to get netflix and get rid of cable because I knew they were tight on money. Guess what was on the credit card! Netflix, Itunes and a bunch of other things that my girlfriend told me. Why would I get Netflix? Why would I use itunes? Number One I use my moms netflix account, and number two I torrent all my music. My mom has had her credit card stolen. So I know how much it sucks.
It took a while for my used to be ex and now girlfriend to believe me. I now work at the same place as her step dad. I want to make things right! So how would I get around to starting the conversation to having him realize it wasn’t me. I know it doesn’t make sense that they didn’t contact the police. Thank you!
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10 Answers
This is a difficult situation, and I’m sorry you’re experiencing it.
I can’t give advice, but I can suggest that you meet your girlfriend’s step dad on neutral ground at your workplace and politely ask him if there is a time you could talk to him. At this point, I would leave it at that.
When the time comes to speak to him about the theft he experienced, I would state plainly and simply the drawer was open because you were looking for headphones. I wouldn’t add anything else, and then let him ask questions to which I suggest you keep your answers very short and exactly to the point. At all times, be respectful and honest. (I’m not saying you haven’t been, but they don’t believe you at this point.)
I wish you the best of luck with this sticky situation.
First, sorry that happened to you. You can try telling the stepdad if an opportunity arises why you were going through the drawer, but you may have to let it slide.
Does your girlfriend believe you? That is the important thing.
How awful! My first thought, I’m sorry to say, is that your girlfriend is the one who ordered Netflix and iTunes stuff, and that she’s covering her ass by letting her parents believe it was you. Shouldn’t Netflix have a record of where the movies are supposed to be going (either physical address or IP address)? That info might clear you.
In the meantime, stay calm and respectfully maintain your innocence. Good luck!
Personally, I would ask for all of them to meet with you in a calm environment for a discussion and tell them exactly what you told us.
Why was his card in his office or desk first of all? Everyone I know keeps them on them all the time or in a safe, so that’s a lapse in security or someone has a dupe card.
Clear your name, it’s important that your integrity is defended, and if they don’t believe you, I’d move on frankly because one of them probably did do it like @auggie said.
Well… those are some pretty suspicious actions. I’m not saying you did anything wrong, but you should probably know that if you take papers off a desk, and organize them into a manila envelope that you found without anyone’s knowledge or permission, someone is going to think you are up to something. Even if no charges showed up on anyone’s card (and yeah, @KNOWITALL is right – who keeps a credit card in their desk? That is a weird story), I would still be very suspicious of you if it was my home.
Be more aware in the future that papers in a desk are assumed to be private, and don’t clean up anything, or go through anyone’s drawers for any reason without permission – even if you are just trying to be helpful.
He didn’t keep his credit card in his desk, apparently he had papers with information that belonged to the card. My girlfriend believes me. She and I love eachother very much, I talked to her dad today, and I explained to him that I wasn’t the one who stole the information. He said it was very coincidental. I explained to him that I respect him very much, and I’d never do such a thing. I left it at that, and sitting down calmly with my girlfriends mom is never going to happen. She hates me. @glacial believe me, i learned my lesson.The desk looked mighty spiffy afterwards though. :)
Out of curiosity, where are the movies from Netflix being sent?
Should be easy to find out who the culprit was. Check the items purchased.
Would not be surprised if the girlfriend or even her mother did it?
(since you stated that the mother did not like you)?
Of course the mother could have that info from the credit card co. but why isn’t she
offering this up?
Do you really want to get involved with this family?
I have no idea where this Netflix crap is being streamed to. my girlfriend and I got into a nasty fight. Needless to say, we aren’t together anymore. I’m quite glad. I wouldn’t doubt if my ex was the one who did it, or the mom.
@Mr_Grimm Sorry, probably for the best, though.
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