(NSFW) I have trouble reaching orgasm?

You’re fretting too much. Most women need clitoral stimulation (and very specific kind of stimulation) no matter what anyone says.

Have you thought of using a vibrator while you are having intercourse. That usually ensures a fast and intense orgasm. It’s worth a try.

Many couples have sequential orgasms…first hers and then his. There are no rules.

Listen to your body and its responses. Reach orgasm the way you can and want to and when you want.

I find that when my mind isn’t in it, I can’t orgasm either. So maybe try to relax and get your thoughts in a happy place before you start sexy time.

I don’t know any women who have an orgasm just from sexual intercourse. Supposedly about a third of women do climax just from that, but that means the majority don’t. Hopefully that makes you feel better.

But even not during intercourse I have trouble unless I do it myself :( It just feels like everyone else has orgasms with their partner BY their partner whereas I can only orgasm if I masturbate in a very specific position. I feel like I should be able to reach in more than one way :(

@cutiepi92 With practice you could probably reach orgasm in other positions, but it is very common for people to have a particular way that they do it and acheive orgasm quickly.

Also, people lie about having orgasms, so don’t believe what everyone says.

You can flip through a book about sex positions and it might give you an idea or two.

Show your boyfriend the special way to stimulate you to orgasm and have him do it during sex.

I’d second the vibrator idea. From a guys POV it’s really hot seeing a girl use a vibrator on herself while he’s having sex with her plus the orgasm feels amazing for both partners and it will probably be a lot easier to reach climax during sexual intercourse this way. It’s a win win.

Do you have a high sex drive? I can orgasm pretty quickly. Sometimes, all my boyfriend has to do is enter me. I probably orgasm 9 out of 10 times. That is through intercourse alone, my bf doesn’t do much foreplay. I masturbate a lot as well, I think that helps.

No I don’t think your always doomed.
Does he physically turn you on?
Do you really like him or just sort of?
Do you spend enough time in foreplay, ie are well lubed with natural lubricants?
Does he feel too large or too small? If he is frequently hitting your g spot directly that usually means he is a bit smaller or doggie positions with a severe angle are being used. This can be overstimulating to beginners and it is hard to let go esp if he is jack hammering away.

In other words better priming was the key for me. Try adjusting, if it is due to size tell him you love how he pulls in and out, almosting exiting but not. Emphasize that love of control, the smooth steady longer rythyms that slowly build. If it is due to position try missionary, it is great for intimacy promotion and more geared towards women’s maximum pleasure kissing and weight and touching and control, by squeezing or shifting or thrusting upwards or downwards away from the penis. Explore with your legs.

Also sometimes I like to be swatted not in the same place like paddling but the bloods instant response from the sting is great, for increasing flow and urgency for the area. Also being swatted on the twat with light slaps or with a penis the males enjoy and can be more direct stimulation that given in fun or pleasure can be quite pleasing.

I had a boyfriend who loved pussy pumps for this purpose as well. I admit it felt good.

Of course the vibrator works as well. But if you are already proficient as clitoral orgasm a bullet or cock ring or tickler working in tandem might be the push you need. Maybe you will even experience the blended orgasm, which is a treat.

Most of all forget all about it and have fun. Learn to laugh, if he is good at taking instruction order him around, in the spirit of affection and teasing him of course. And forget being goal oriented. That sucks. The ride is awesome and unlike pigs we don’t have a 30 minute orgasm so enjoy pleasure sensation being plundered and stretching yourself and the build up while it lasts.

I have had a boyfriend that would take breaks in the meantime we chat and pet and huddle strategize though he considered sex extreme sports so we both needed to breath and water and another who was into the tantric I will ride past and above the orgasm. Those approaches are luckily rare because 3 hours later and you have to go to work you learn to appreciate the quickie.

But that is an illustration of different approaches. I think aiming for somewhere in the middle of that extreme; and what its been 5 minutes what do I do, I am holding him up, he wants to come already, this pumping is mechanical, is he the energizer bunny or just duracell? You’ll be good, fnd your niche and feel free to move it as often as need dictates.

Don’t you just LOVE Fluther some times?

Just relax and go with the flow, don’t think about it too much. Sequential orgasms would have been my suggestion, but I see @gailcalled came before me.

* giggles immaturely *

Happy hunting!

^^^And Bob’s your uncle, they say.

Lots of women rarely or never orgasm from the good old missionary position, or even positions known only to infidel porno actors. A smaller but still significant number of women can’t get off from receiving oral sex. I say talk it over with your mate. Explain all that you have here, including how much you worry about disappointing him, and how you do enjoy the intimacy you share and have no intention of abandoning it for the sake of solo sessions only.

If you can show him your special method, great. Let him do that for you sometimes. But it’s likely that only that direct connection between the hand and the brain, feeling what works and doing it just right, will get you there. If that’s the case, work out ways the two of you can cuddle, make out, and he can enhance your feeling while you bring yourself off. Maybe having him suck your breasts. If he likes going down on you, and it is anatomically possible for him to do so while you apply your special technique, maybe that will work. Use your creativity. As long as you both like it and nobody gets hurt (permanently) there are no rules.

Ok before I type this, I apologize in advance if it’s a little TMI. Well, it’s not like I expect to reach it DURING sex. Too many feels goin on down there for me to focus on that lol. I think a problem too is that he is too big :( as in, it hurts (A LOT) if he goes in all the way to the base. That and the way my clitoris is positioned, even when touching there myself, I can’t feel anything I’m doing when he is inside because of the particular way I’m stretched out :/ However, I have never used a vibrator so that will probably be the next move. I’ll try buying one and integrating it into sexplay.

@ETpro I think you’re right about the direct connection between hand and brain. No exaggeration, it took me an entire year of trial and error to finally reach orgasm through masturbation and even when he does the exact same thing, it just doesn’t work the same.

Thanks you guys for taking the time to answer my very embarrassing question :/

Well, pain would be an obstacle in reaching orgasm. Just have him use his fingers while you self stimulate. Then at least you are doing it together, which is what you seem to want.

@cutiepi92 Pain is only fun if you get off on the masochistic side of it. Snoop around stileproject.com for a bit and find activities that you’d find painless and he’d find hot. If he’s attracted to your curvy rear, maybe sliding through that valley while you are well lubricated would let him get off cuddling up behind you (Mind you, no penetration. If he’s too big for the front door he’ll wreck the rear entrance). In that position, his hands are free to massage your tits and tweak those nipples to full erection. If you’ve got large breasts, tit fucking a well lubed valley, pressed against his cock can be hot. Both leave your hands free to work their special magic.

One thing you have going for you. It is the rare guy who gets his feelings hurt by a woman telling him he’s just so big.

Try C.A.T. with your partner.

If that feels better, then try it again, with him staying in place and you doing 100% of the thrusting.