Those of you who opted for a simple wedding, what was it like?
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My hubby and I agreed to spend no more than $5000 on our wedding almost 20 years ago. It was a nice wedding. The only dark spot was, and is, my MIL. Because of her we should have eloped and then had a nice party after.
I’m glad we only spent what we did. We wouldn’t be any more married if we spent more nor would we be happier.
Fifteen guests, my father did the photography for free (he’s a pro), the cake was a gift from another family member, my dad’s friend loaned us a Daimler, and the “reception” was a barbecue in our back garden. The whole event cost less than £200. And there was no frou-frou.
My wedding was great. It was in England, we got married at a registry office (civil ceremony.) I wore a long Mexican cotton wedding dress and a wool cape that my friend had made. We had 22 people and we had a wedding breakfast (brunch) at his grandmother’s apartment that my Ex, his mother and I had made the food for. The night before, we were at the pub and that night, we went out to dinner with his folks and mine. I have never regretted for a moment not having a bigger or fancier wedding.
My SIL only invited immediate family and their spouses, including her children and his children (second marriage) I think we were about 12 people. Took place at a hotel on the beach. Quick ceremony outside, cocktail hour in the bar area, and then dinner in one of their restaurants. The table was decorated with some flowers that were brought in.
The son of a friend of mine got married in Ashville, NC, I think at the Biltmore. Just parents, siblings, and a couple best friends. Nice ceremony and dinner afterwards.
Another friend of mine rented a big beach house for the week. Relatives and friends were free to come and go all week long. The ceremony was one of the days, but people who did not even make it, still came on a different day to spend time with them.
The daughter of my neighbor went to Jamaica with just close family and a couple of friends. Beach wedding and a dinner after.
I know people who have gotten married in Vegas. Most were long weekends with a 6–20 friends and family in attendance.
One friend of mine did not have a small wedding, but you could do it small. We went to the church for the ceremony and then drove to her parent’s farm for the reception. She had a big tent for people to sit under and the driveway was the dance floor. They did have a DJ, but now you can just set up an ipod. Oh, and we knew ahead of time to bring clothes to change into after the wedding. I literally changed from a skirt, blouse, and high heels, into shorts, shirt, and flat shoes. Many people had on jeans. The caterer bbq’d right there and we all ate chicken, and some sides. One of my favorite weddings. One really cool thing they did was from the church to the farm along the main highway a billboard said congratulations to John and Jane. They had no idea a relative had bought the space.
A friend of mine had a wedding breakfast. The number of guests were small, there was a simple theme and the surroundings were beautiful. Personally this was to me, a great idea.
Depends on what you consider simple.
Ours costed about $10,000 including our honeymoon in Orlando. About $8,000 for that actual wedding, everything included.
Our venue was all-inclusive. They did the decorating, music (though we provided our own playlist), the cake, the food/bar, the coordinating, EVERYTHING. We had about 50 guests and just beer and wine at the bar. I used a cheap local florist for bouquets and boutonnières. It was an outdoor garden ceremony with an indoor/outdoor reception.
It was simple (compared to a lot of weddings) but very pretty. Looking back, though, a nice wedding isn’t worth the price tag.
An afternoon ceremony in my parents’ living room with 30 people, including four children and a 4 month old baby in his bassinet. Mostly relatives and three close friends. My two kids and one of his three (the other two boycotted the occasion) stood up with us.
Married by a local judge who then had a sip of champagne and left. Poached salmon with dill sauce, cucumber salad, rice and strawberry shortcake. A nice flower arrangement on the table. Everyone on his way by early evening.
We went back to Manhattan that night, amid movers’ boxes, and moved to a house we had purchased in Philly the next morning. A perfect event.
I wore a mini dress from an upper east side boutique.
We used the money we didn’t spend to help w. the downpayment for the house we bought.
We went before the JOP one afternoon 31 years ago. We wore decent clothes and the judge was really nice. So easy. So real.
We originally were going to go with 200 people, but narrowed that down to 50. Can’t see spending a lot of money on a wedding. Tinyfaery and her wife are two of the 50. :)
Just getting some ideas. Right now, we’re leaning towards getting married in Stratford, Canada.
I got a white cotton sundress at the Gap on clearance. My husband wore khakis and a lavender shirt. My teenager wore khakis and a lavender shirt. We rented a shelter at a local park near the zoo overlooking the river. We invited ~25 people to the ceremony. No officiant. The ceremony was simple and personal. We asked our parents to read some selections. We talked a bit. A family we knew donated beautiful flower arrangements from their relative’s funeral the day before. We borrowed the chairs from my mother-in-law’s church basement and set them up near the shelter in a little clearing surrounded by trees. I made little mementos for wedding guests by tying a lavender ribbon around three cinnamon sticks surrounding a sprig of lavender.
Then we had a potluck picnic. We provided the meat (and some guys to do the grilling) and people brought side dishes. We invited ~200 people, maybe half came. We sent e-vites. It was beachy/parky. There was a volleyball net. Some kids kicked a soccer ball. Friends took photos (of the ceremony too). We had a table with our photos from childhood. We provided 3 sheet cakes: 1 white with raspberry filling and coconut frosting, 1 chocolate with chocolate cream frosting and 1 carrot cake with cream cheese frosting. Hubby made playlists to play in the background. It was laid back and enjoyable. People remarked on the personal nature of it.
Oh, and we had friends sing one song they wrote and one song I requested. My teenager played the saxophone. :)
It was amazing.
If I had it to do over again, I would have hired a professional photographer. And would have had someone do my hair. Otherwise… it was perfect.
Oh! I forgot the photographer. We hired a professional for that. And a make-up artist. My normal stylist did my hair. We got invitations from Invitations by Dawn.
Now that I think of it, the wedding costed $10K without the honeymoon.
We were married in a church chapel in 1978 with none but immediate family present. Afterward we had a party at our house (where we’d already been living together for a year). We provided champagne, soft drinks, and platters of hors d’oeuvres, and two or three dozen guests voluntarily brought other contributions for the table. I made sure there were flowers and balloons. There was no need for anything fancier or more complicated. I think we managed it all—including our rings and my dress—for well under $1000. About half of the budget went for the rings.
Odd, I don’t remember a cake, but there must have been one. It sure wasn’t a frosting-heavy tiered thing with little figures stuck in the goo on top.
My husband and I had been living together for about six months. We were on a hike in the woods, surrounded by trees, flowers and deer when we decided we were married. When we returned home, we told our roommates and they held a reception for us.
About 5 years later, we took out a license and registered our marriage with the state. I was 9 months pregnant at the time.
We are celebrating our 38th anniversary this year.
@YARNLADY Love that. Do you start counting the years married from that day in the woods?
My partner’s Mom is already on this, lol. She sent us this.
She’s excited!
How many people will be attending? I think the Jelly kingdom is excited for you too! Too bad we can’t get the mansion for a post party.
@JLeslie It’s cute. She’s in North Carolina and is looking up stuff in Michigan.
That’s nice. I love that she is excited. My inlaws were not excited. Not even close.
This isn’t my story; it’s the story of a former colleague, and I think it’s great.
She and her now-husband didn’t want a big wedding. They would have been willing to do something very simple—just a few, close family members—but her mother demanded a huge, all-out event. Despite my friend’s objections, and without any of her cooperation, the mother blissfully went about finding a location, choosing a menu, hiring a band, photographer, and florist, and ordering invitations. The mom even invited a parade of bridesmaids for the wedding party and selected their dresses.
A couple of months before THE BIG DAY, my friend and her husband eloped. When they returned, they told Mom that they were already married, and that it was time to cancel all those big plans.
About 30 years later, my friend and her husband have no regrets. It’s their marriage, and they didn’t let themselves get bullied into having the wedding of someone else’s dreams.
Technically, we have to get married in Canada first. Two witnesses (her Mom and my sister). I would like to do it at the The Shakespearean Gardens in Stratford, On.
My first wedding was small-ish, with fewer than 50 guests. It was still a traditional wedding followed by a full reception in a different location. We did the whole shebang: wedding dress/tux/bridesmaids/groomsmen/catering. It was a ton of fun, but exhausting.
My second wedding was small, with fewer than 20 guests, including only our family members and closest friends. Heck, five of those ‘guests’ were our kids, who served as our attendants. It was very simple, and lovely. I made the bouquets and boutonnieres myself with fresh flowers, and we wore sort-of-fancy-but-not-wedding clothes. We married in a historic tavern restaurant, in a separate dining room painted with murals, in front of a fireplace. The reception (just drinks, hors d’oeuvres, and a tiny cake) was held in the same room and in the outdoor patio area. It was relaxing and full of love.
We were married in London (we lived in Paris at the time, but the regulations in England are simpler). We paid a magistrate £20 for the ceremony at the town hall. We needed two witnesses, so we paid bus fair from Paris for two friends. They were the only attendees.
My wife had a simple cotton dress made for the wedding, one that she could wear afterwards. I wore a suit I already owned. After the ceremony, we all went for a pub lunch.
Well, crap, if I had my way, I’d fly to Paris and get married. haha Just us and two witnesses. We would do the honeymoon there, too. Two birds + one stone,
JOP in full wedding dress with both mother’s, champagne brunch after, bought home & fab honeymoon, plus ALL bills paid!
@thorninmud that sounds like my perfect kind of wedding. You must have married later than me, my registrar’s fee was only £14.
@JLeslie Yes, we consider ourselves married from our original date, which isn’t a specific day, but rather the Labor Day weekend.
My wedding dress was a $99 clearance dress. We were married outdoors at this wildlife park. Our reception was held in a lodge room at the park that overlooked a wolf enclosure. A family member had his band play the music for our wedding and reception. My father paid for everything, but we kept it all to a minimum. My husband and I bought the least expensive wedding bands we could find. I never had an engagement ring.
We had 75 friends and family attend our wedding. I would have preferred less but my mother insisted suggested that all of my cousins should be invited. We used the money we received in gifts for our honeymoon trip to Gatlinburg in the Smokey Mountains. My favorite memory of it all was the time spent with my husband during the honeymoon.
—I really love all these stories! A wedding should be a meaningful day spent with close friends and family. If I ever get married, that’s the kind of day I want to have. Congrats to you guys for making that happen.—-
I hope you do, @Haleth. I sure never bought the idea that it was about show, much less that a wedding day should be “the happiest day of my life.” In my opinion it ought to be the least happy because you want it to get better from there.
My fiancé and I haven’t set a date yet, but we are both introverts and tend toward practicality, so we also want a very simple ceremony and then a big barbecue afterwards. I am following this post for more ideas. We were basically engaged from the moment we decided to take our relationship from platonic to romantic, and married in our hearts from at least the time we decided to find a home together. I decided to make the engagement ‘official’ because it felt odd being in our late 40s and referring to each other as “boyfriend” and “girlfriend”. We took our time searching for a ring, because I wanted something unique. We found an antique ring at auction, and it is perfect and we got a great price, since it would retail for a whole lot more.
When I got married the first time in 1990, I was in my first semester of grad school and in my first trimester of pregnancy, so we eloped. My mother sewed a dress for me, and we bought him a sport coat. I did not have an engagement ring, and we bought our wedding bands at Sears. We drove to the Blue Ridge Mountains in Virginia on a Friday and filled out the marriage paperwork in the courthouse and got the license for $20.00. The marriage officiant was another $20.00, and she led us to her home and married us in her living room because she felt it was a nicer setting than the courthouse. Our ‘honeymoon’ was spending the weekend driving along the Blue Ridge Highway (I hope to go back there someday) with hotels and meals on my mother’s credit card. We were back to school and work on Monday.
My brother had a rather simple wedding not too long ago.
They had it in the gazebo by the huge spring at the park with close friends and family.
It was pretty awesome, not too fancy or anything. Later we went over to the bride’s house to party and everyone brought a dish and we watched the game and everyone had a good time.
@hearkat I think that your 1990 wedding and honeymoon sound absolutely perfect.
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