(NSFW) What's the longest you've ever gone without sex and how did you "cope"?
Asked by
jordym84 (
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July 25th, 2013
This isn’t the longest for me, but it certainly does feel like it. It has been 1 year, 2 months, and 17 days (but who’s counting?). Prior to that, it had been over 2 years and I don’t recall feeling the effects this strongly. Granted, I was younger and not as experienced and I was always busy with school and work so I hardly ever had any time to think about sex (or the lack thereof) this much. Now that I’m a bit older and have a little more time in my hands, I think about it a lot. It’s not just the sex itself, but having someone to come home to, talk to, cuddle with, hold on to at night, go out and do things with and, of course, be intimate. During the day, when I’m working and busy, it barely crosses my mind. But when I come home at the end of the night, and on my days off, I find myself daydreaming about being with someone.
I’ve never been into casual dating and I don’t go out to places where I could potentially meet a special someone, and the fact that I’m constantly moving doesn’t help much either.
Since I don’t foresee myself getting any action in the near future, what sorts of coping methods have worked for you during your “drier” periods?
Thanks in advance!
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23 Answers
I like sex as much as anybody. But sometimes circumstances create what you call a dry spell.
And that is the way it goes.
The sun comes up tomorrow.
It is the inevitable ebb and flow of life. If you can’t handle it, you are not equipped to deal with existence. And if you are not equipped to deal with existence, you have some work to do.
It is not a matter of “coping” which in my opinion is nothing more that a New Age way of saying “accepting the facts of reality”, and more a matter of being patient and waiting for your moment to come around again.
Just the way I see it…
Get a a vibrator for the sex and get a dog for the rest of it.
17 years. I was just fine.
Seriously though, after I lost my virginity – 3 months. I had some painful health problems and simply couldn’t have sex. Keep in mind that I’m married to the guy I lost my virginity to, so I haven’t been single since I was 17.
Honestly, I could go a long time without sex. Intimacy in general is another story.
Years. And I got by with regular masturbation.
Self pleasure, working out, writing, a project. Treasure being alone. The freedom to just BE is a gift!
@josie I understand all of that, believe me. I’m generally a very patient person, but I’m only human after all.
@gailcalled Sex toys don’t do much for me (I need the human aspect of it) and I have neither the time nor the space for pets.
@livelaughlove21 I lost mine at 19 and was fine without sex for many years afterwards. Not that I’m not fine now, but sometimes the need for intimacy is huge…
@zenvelo Doesn’t masturbation get old after a while though? I still do it, but it’s definitely not the same as doing it with some else.
@KNOWITALL I’ve only ever had 1 boyfriend so I’ve spent a lot of time alone, and I do cherish it as I sincerely enjoy my own company, but I don’t want to be alone forever. I already do all of those things (except writing, not a fan) and I can only do some much of them before I start getting bored again.
Uh…well….at almost 54 I am pretty much sexed out. lol
My last sex was on New Years eve, 2009, my last GREAT sex was in a relationship that lasted from 2004 to 2006ish. I have been sexless for what….almost 5 years now?
Oh well..I had turbo jets in my hot tub and yes, the silver bullet that could crumble the walls of Jericho. haha
Not missin’ a thing….35+ years of sex, I’m with @gailcalled , get a vibrator and a dog, cat, goose. They say “use it or lose it” well, I’ve used it plenty, it wants to rest now. haha
@Jordy My gma told me to do everything before marriage, I have no regrets & I love hubs but it’s real work you know?
@Coloma LOL you’re funny! I’m only 25 and haven’t used it much, so I’m definitely not ready to set it to rest quite yet.
@KNOWITALL Sound advice from your grandma. :) I’ve done a lot of the things I’ve always wanted to do (including extensive travel, with more to come in the near future if I get the new job for which I had my last interview in a series of 3 yesterday) and I know relationships take work, but I want to have the experience of doing things with someone else. I’ve had enough of flying solo! lol
I have gone long spells with no sex, probably over a year. Currently though it has been 3 months since I had a UTI that is recurring and now is a kidney infection. I must say that I have become phobic about sex because of this. I am managing I still cuddle and kiss my boy friend. It’s not ideal but it is just how it is. I do believe cuddling with a pet can work or just becoming interested in life and being active with a hobby. I feel quite sad about what has happened because I do like sex and feel it is important at any age for overall health really.
Sex is sex though I think being loved is something very different.
@LornaLove I’m sorry to hear that. =/ UTIs are the worst, but I do hope you have a speedy recovery!
I wasn’t counting… But it was months.
I had a rough pregnancy, a rougher delivery, and we co-slept with a breastfeeding newborn. I simply wanted to love my husband from a safe distance for a long time. And he, bless him, was incredibly understanding. Never once made me feel like I was putting him out. Of course, I wasn’t exactly exuding temptation…
Six months.
And say hello to my little right hand and some dirty porn.
Three years. Masturbation took care of my lustful urges. As an introvert, I am OK with being a loner otherwise.
If keeping busy provides a distraction, consider volunteering after work or taking classes for a hobby, like cooking, or drawing, etc?
35 years, 13 years since I’ve been on a date. I play video games and drink pop while lying prone in front of the tv or laptop. Right now I’m playing the Oregon Trail.
I’ve been in a string of unsatisfying relationships. Having no sex is WAY better than having sex you don’t want.
My husband passed away in 2009. So its been since then. We had lots of sex and it was wonderful. I have given myself a diagnosis of PTSD. [Post Traumatic Sex Disorder.] :/
I do not find anything pleasurable now so I now consider myself “asexual”.
Maybe 6 months? I’m not sure. Masturbation and porn take care of the sex urges. Have you considered actively trying to find someone? Through dating sites or taking a class or attending meet-ups. Or maybe exploring a ‘friends-with-benefits’ situation?
2 months. I had far bigger problems at the time than lack of sex so all my energy was focused on something else.
A year, and it was hell. I was with my ex, the relationship had completely broken down. We still lived together, but had separate bedrooms. If I was a man, I would have had a permanent hard on. I was downloading porn, masturbating constantly, i was incredibly frustrated.
I went a couple years during my first marriage. There were issues involved in why that was the case. While those issues bothered me, the “no sex” didn’t. And I was still in a relationship and all, which was what mattered to me.
Other than that the longest has probably been…a few months maybe. I don’t really have trouble coping with that. It’s no biggie.
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