Is it repulsive for a man to be giving gifts often?

“Repulsive” is a very powerful word as is the similar “distasteful.” The recipient might find receiving too many gifts displeasing or inappropriate.

The question is too personal for a group-grope. Some women might love being showered with gifts.

My high school counselor told me… that he has given his wife a rose every day, from the day they were married. It was his way of reminding both of them that no matter what, she is always in his thoughts.

But I just think it’s creepy.

^^^ But, what does she think?

Repulsive? That would depend on the woman and the assumed purpose of the gifts. I for one would not be anything close to repulsed if my husband suddenly started showering me with gifts. Surprised yes, repulsed no. But my husband has already lassoed me and has my affection to the moon and back so I would be fairly certain that was not his motivation.

If a man is trying to woo a woman with gifts again it would depend of the woman.

It depends on the man, his demeanor, and what the gifts are. If it’s little things and he’s the type of person to do that, it’s not weird. If they are expensive gifts and there is obviously an ulterior (just realized I have never typed that word before, had to try out about 10 different spellings) motive, then yes that is unpleasant.

Like several other Jellies, I think that “repulsive” is a strong word.

At the very best, this guy’s really infatuated with you, thinks of you all day, and enjoys buying gifts. If your relationship is new – it sounds as if it is – he’ll come back down to earth after a while.

At the very worst, he might be controlling and manipulative. There are men who follow a contrived program to “get” women by overwhelming them with gifts and “romantic” gestures. Some insecure guys believe that they can buy love, and that the only way they’ll find love is by formula. Also, every abusive, domineering guy starts out as the dream boyfriend – so attentive and caring and attentive, and sometimes able to hide the nightmare for a long time.

It’s good that your Creep-o-Meter is putting you on alert. You’re smart to listen to that inner voice telling you that something isn’t quite right.

Repulsive? No.
Annoying? Yes.
Creepy? Maybe.
Unnecessary? Absolutely.

@gailcalled “But, what does she think?”

Excellent question. If I were her, I’d think, “Enough with the roses, already. What makes him think that I enjoy them, and who is he really trying to impress – me or himself?”

Giving gifts on a daily basis takes away that special feeling you get when your SO gives you a gift. If you get a rose daily, there’s nothing special about it.

Oh, another rose…great.~

So, @gailcalled, speak to me of this “group-grope”.

(^^ That was Milo. It has a certain ring to it, but don’t ask me what it means.)

I agree with the premise that the predictability of the daily rose would start to get tiresome.

^^^ I love roses and have several rosebushes in my garden. But, yes, if someone brought me one every day, I’d grow to dislike roses fairly quickly.

I don’t feel there’s anything wrong with giving your SO gifts on occasions. However, the foundation of any decent relationship needs to involve two people who care about and are attracted to each other for the qualities each mate has. Personally I’d say if one feels a need to consistently purchase gifts for their SO, then there’s a reasonable chance that person has security issues concerning themselves or the relationship itself. My latter statement is based upon what I’ve seen personally, and perhaps this isn’t true for every chronic gift giver concerning relationships.

I would get tired of it very quickly. If couldn’t get him to stop, I’d stop seeing him. It seems to be a value of his with which I couldn’t agree and it would annoy me.

If he was giving nothing and she was giving him sex everyday would that be repulsive? Should he feel repulsive? Maybe he should think she is trying to trap him in a relationship, something by getting him pussy-whipped? I think one should never look a gift horse in the mouth. If he is already dipping his wick in the honey cave, what motivation would he have going broke buying you everything under the sun he could afford?

Oh @Hypocrisy_Central. Why does it not surprise me that you think sex is something a woman gives to a man?

@Hypocrisy_Central if he was giving her gifts for her giving him sex, that would make the woman a prostitute now wouldn’t it?

The giving of gifts seems to be the way some people express their love, we all have our own language of love, if the recipient does not enjoy this form of expression, it seems commonsense to discuss it with the giver, who knows what might come of that discussion.

It would be annoying to me, and creep me out a little.

The thing about a gift is it is the thought that counts the most, and receiving a rose daily would seem to have zero thought; it’s just a routine after a while. If his SO loves it than it’s a nice thing, but if she doesn’t it is obnoxious.

No, I like gifts :)

@SuperMouse (sanitized for the faint of heart) The answer to your question, watered down, is “no”, she made the first move on her own not expecting anything tangible in return.