(NSFW) If you love someone right now, what would you do if...

My husband is very handsome, but he would make one hideous woman.

In all seriousness, though, the sexual attraction would be gone if he transitioned. I am not turned on by breasts, soft hairless bodies, and vaginas. Simple as that.

Then again, I would still love him and stay with him if he was in a bad accident or developed a disease and was disfigured in some way. I love him and, although I feel a level of attraction is important in a relationship, he is more than his cute face and nice body. Furthermore, he’s more than his firm pec muscles and penis.

Still, I’m a straight woman; I want to be in relationships only with men. If he was no longer a man, that would be a huge adjustment and I’m not sure how that might change things.

I’d still love him, yes. But could I remain married to him? It might sound awful, but I just don’t know. I’d support him and be there for him no matter what, and it would break my heart to walk away, but I fell in love with him as a man.

My husband and I just talked about this. He hates when I start these conversations that make him rethink his gut reaction, but his final answer was, “I don’t know.” I’m pretty sure he’d leave me. Luckily for us, I have no plans to have a sex change.

We’d become drinking buddies.

I might still love the inner person, but nope, wouldn’t work for me. I could wish them well on their transgender journey but I couldn’t, as @livelaughlove21 says, get turned on by same sex genitals. I dated a guy I really liked once and after a few weeks he disclosed his cross dressing fetish for womens underwear. Uh..no, sorry, but there is NO WAY I want to see the man I am turned on by parading around in a pink G-string with a push up bra.

Killed things for me fast, like in a nano-second.
I also couldn’t hang with Mr. naked volleyball player either. I’m not your girl, no naked volleyball for me. lol

I could not overlook the change. I would still be close to the person, but the quality of our relationship (a romantic love relationship) would change.

If my last girlfriend had told me that, I would have supported her, but like other people, I’d have a hard time, since so much of her personality is wrapped up in her being a woman, with a different emotional and intellectual viewpoint.

It wouldn’t make a damned bit of difference. When I say for better or for worse, I damn well mean it.

Wouldn’t work. I like pussy.

I can’t honestly answer this because there is no way in hell my husband would do this. I keep picturing him being all girly and it makes me giggle.

No way. Have both of us moody at the same time! It won’t work. LOL
Like @livelaughlove21, my husband would also make a ugly woman.

It’s not the same. It isn’t like the person had an accident. This would be something he or she would’ve know for a long time but dragged me into their denial. I would be angry. Eventually (after many year) come around to accepting it but it would be like he died for me. The physical changes has to change the person inside.

People find it hard to deal with a person when they change from an accident but those who survive deal by knowing that it wasn’t something that could be changed back or prevented most times. But in the back of my mind I would always wonder why did he never tell me he felt this way? Resentment would be to large to overcome. To have their dream they had to lie for years and then decide to lie no further and destroy all trust you had in this person. You would feel your whole marriage was a lie.

I didn’t marry my husband’s penis I married HIM. If she was willing to keep the relationship going then so would I.

No matter what genitals are involved, I love my husband and would stay and support his transition. I’m sexually flexible enough that it probably wouldn’t even impact my sex life. If it did, I’m sure we could come to some accommodation that allowed us to stay married and have a fulfilling sex life.

Oddly enough, I just talked to my husband the other night about a couple I know who’ve experienced this very thing and stayed together. At first, he couldn’t understand how the husband in that relationship could still be with his wife (who is now a man). I said, “imagine that wife is me, and we’ve been together 20 years.” He got it immediately, and said he’d stay with me, too.

Oh my goodness. I actually struggled with this for a long tme. I knew, from the age of about 6, that I should have been born a boy. But I didn’t find out until I was almost 30 that anything could actually be done about it. I desperately wanted to go ahead woth medical transition, hormones and surgery, but by this time I was married to a husband I loved very much, and we had a young daughter. I was terrified that if I told him, he would leave me. So I kept it secret. For 13 years.

By this time I was in such a state I was near suicidal with the effort of having to live so long pretending to be something other than what I really am. I got to the point where the fear of telling my husband was less than the fear of living the rest of my life as the wrong sex. So at the age of 43, I finally told him.

I couldn’t believe how supportive he was about it. It wasn’t a surprise to him at all, and straight away he encouraged me to contact my doctor and start making enquiries about transition. It’s now almost four years later; I am now on testosterone treatment and I have just had top surgery at the beginning of June. My husband is still with me and still supportive. He told me, “It’s YOU I fell in love with. What your body looks like doesn’t matter to me.”

I think what he’s found hardest to come to terms with is that now when we’re seen out and about together, we’re seen as a gay couple. He doesn’t mind that, but other people do sometimes. It constantly baffles me why some people consider the sexual orientation of total strangers to be a matter of such urgent and personal concern.

I have been extremely lucky. It’s rare for a couple to stay together when one person transitions; even more so when the end result is a gay male partnership like ours; so few men are able to admit that they could be anything other than 100% straight.

And to answer the original question, if my husband wanted to transition too, I would totally support her.

@zenvelo ”...so much of her personality is wrapped up in her being a woman, with a different emotional and intellectual viewpoint.” That’s the thing. A transsexual person already has the emotional and intellectual viewpoint of the opposite sex, even if the social upbringing is different. As a child I was permitted to express myself in a boyish way; I often wore boys clothes and played boys games, but if a trans person is forced into a gender-specific upbringing that matches their birth gender, it doesn’t change that emotional viewpoint.

That’s why the question is almost impossible for most people to answer; their partners are comfortable in their current sex and gender-roles so if they transitioned it would be a total shock and a complete reversal of their identity. For most trans-people it’s not like that. Their identity is already that of the opposite sex so an admission that they want to transition is usually not so much of a surprise.

I agree this is impossible to answer with any degree of accuracy, infidelity is one tangible reason for a break up in any relationship, but not necessarily a foregone conclusion.
The scenario given in this question is a whole new ball game, one which can only be speculated upon, wildly at that.

My gut reaction is I would want to stay with my husband now my wife. It’s really hard to know for sure though I would think. I absolutely love spending time with my husband, he is my best friend. After 22 years together he is my favorite person to spend time with. I do think the sexual attraction might diminish significantly though. Many of you know my sex life is greatly hampered by health problems and I miss it. If we had a fantastic sex life and then this changed it so that it was barely there, I think I would be pretty unhappy. Although, if he had a health issue and it affected out sex life I would just accept it and live with it. Seems hypocritical right?

I remember watching part of a documentary of Chaz Bono going through his sex change. At one point his girlfriend who has dated both men and women, said she had forgotten what it is likento have testosterone in the house. She was not thrilled about it. She meant his temperament and loss of interest in details when they talked, not sure what else.

@downtide I’m glad you answered this. Yours was the marriage I was discussing with my husband. :)

@downtide Rad.

@downtide You coupled up with an extraordinary man. But I am sure you know that. Best to the both of you. And thanks for sharing that.

Thanks. I know I’m very, very lucky.

@downtide Thanks for sharing that it was a perfect example. One I think shows true love that conquers all. I think you are both extraordinary people. I am sure he too is lucky to be in love with you as you are with him.

I love my boyfriend so much, so therefore if this was something that was important to him, then I would support him. He would still be him, still be the wonderful person I fell in love with. Obviously I would miss the sexual side, but we could still kiss, still cuddle, still touch, and we could always use toys. I would support him in anything he wanted.

I would throw a party to celebrate the change.

If they decided to change their sexual identity then there are more problems than just that and I would have to move on.