How to turn down an invite ( if I'm invited)?

Many people will say “don’t lie” but in this case, I would just lie. I would say “I wish I could but I have something else scheduled for that day! I am sooo sorry I can’t make it!” and then I would probably give a nice card or if they’re having people chip in for a gift, I would be sure to chip in.

For those wondering why I would lie, it’s because I feel (just my opinion so if you don’t like it, remember it’s an opinion) that for a work event, you want to seem like a team player, and you also don’t necessarily want to have to reveal you have an anxiety disorder, so a lie seems like a guaranteed way out without raising any eyebrows.

You could lie or just turn up for an hour. Choose to chat to someone you feel OK with. People might not notice you slink off. I think with work one has to join events sometimes in order to keep relationships sweet. Although really, I feel that these types of events are a complete waste of time. In fact after hours should be our own time.

@jca Thank you, I will try that. I will put money in and get her a nice card. Thank you for your answer.

Say you have a commitment you can’t get out of. Easy.

I don’t go to office BS either. Waste of time. Unless I’m getting paid to go to your stupid social event, I’m not going. Despite that, my boss likes me and my past performance review was perfect.

So don’t be bullied. they are just hens.

If you have social anxiety, then just say you are busy and have another commitment. You don’t need to explain your personal life to work mates. Work is about work and not about social. I hope the work culture you are in only takes account of your work and not your socializing.
I think however if the anxiety is debilitating then talk to a Therapist to help you work through the anxieties that you do get.

@seekingwolf Thank you. I didn’t expect such positive advice. I’m just not sure they would believe another ‘I’m busy’ comment from me.

Just turn it down the best way you know how, leave it to others to question your decision & the reasons why.
If they want to behave like a gaggle of witches & not respect your right to decline, then let the buggers get on with it.

@ucme You really should come to my work.

@Headhurts That sounds like a plan.

I’m really curious as to why they’d accuse you of being bulimic for not attending a work-related party.

Regardless, your co-workers sound like assholes and I wouldn’t go even if social anxiety wasn’t an issue.

I agree with the others. Just say you have a prior commitment.

The easiest, most unquestionable excuse is “I have a family thing I have to go to.” None of their business that the family is just you!

@livelaughlove21 They presumed I was scared to eat in front of people. They questioned what I ate at home, and one of them even made me show her my teeth, I was so embarrassed.

@Headhurts “they made you show your teeth”?? OMFG they sound like people you shouldn’t ever be around! Complete A-hole’s!

Nobody would make me show my teeth if I didn’t want to. If they accused me of not eating, I’d say “Of course I eat. If I didn’t eat, I’d be dead.” I agree they sound like people I wouldn’t want to spend extra time with if I didn’t have to.

This is doing nothing to dampen the stereotype that beauticians are a sandwich short of a picnic, present company excluded of course.

I have social anxiety as well, so I understand your fears.
Go to the party. Fight through it. If you just show up for ½ hour, do it.
If you allow this to go unchecked, it will get worse, and you will end up unable to leave the house.
You have to go to these things. I hate doing it, but I do.

@ucme Thankfully I’m not a beautician. Just the receptionist in a thick environment.

@Headhurts Well there you go then, smacks of petty elitism maybe.

“Thank you so much. i am really sad that I already have plans.” Those plans can be anything; looking out the window and daydreaming, going to Stocklholm to receive your Nobel prize, having a bath (or a headache). Be courteous and acknowledge the event w. a small gift and a nice card.

Yes, just be honest, say ” No thanks, not really my thing.”
If they continue to pressure you repeat yourself ( the old broken record routine ) and then say “I am sure you understand.” I always like to toss that part in, it throws people and they usually respond with ” oh, yes.”

Not wanting to do something IS a perfectly valid reason for not doing it.
Anyone that won’t take “no” for an answer and continues to pressure you has crossed the line into manipulation.
Remember this little saying, and do nothing from a place of…
F. fear
O. obligation
G. guilt

I would just say I can’t make it. Check the box I will not be attending on the card. I can’t believe someone would have the chutzpah to ask why. I think that is very rude and ridiculous. You don’t owe anyone an explanation. I am one of those who say don’t lie, because I think people usually know when you are lying. But, if it makes you more comfortable to lie go ahead. They were rude for asking in the first place.

Are they actually asking you why, or you feel you need to offer an explanation? Liars answer questions never asked. It is one of their tells.

When I tell them, they look at each other and roll their eyes. They then ask why not because I don’t do anything.

Learn how to hold your ground. How do they know what you do in your free time. Anyone who rolls his or her eyes at you deserves very little other than the most rudimentary courtesy.

Repeat after me, “As I told you, I have plans. Now let’s talk about something else, please.”

@gailcalled Exactly. Thank you.