How should I be fair in regards to beggers?

I know this will sound cruel but you must look out for yourself first. Stopping to give increases the danger to you and your wallet. You cannot afford that now nor do you have the skills to avoid an unpleasant event.
You need to keep moving and keep your resources protected.

Have you ever been to India? The quickest way to have your pocket picked is to give to a beggar . Give to one and more will surround you. In seconds your pants pocket will be razor cut and your wallet gone.

I’m sorry to say it but the safest ans surest path for you is to keep moving fast and straight ahead.

Too late to add…
A friend of mine was walking in a beggar-prone country and saw a young girl (about 10–12) running toward him smiling. He was thinking how happy she looked until she jumped right on him instantly wrapping her legs and arms around him so he could not move! Other hands from other people were all over him in seconds. They dispersed in all directions just as quickly.
His wallet was gone.

This will be hard for you since you are a nice, caring, sensitive person. Try to think of beggars and poverty as a black hole:
You do not fix it by feeding it. That only makes it bigger.
It was there before you came and will be there after you leave.
It will suck in everything you have if you let it.

Harden yourself and move along. Don’t become food.

I wish I knew the answer to this. I encounter the exact same problem as you every time I’m travelling. I remember numerous beggars in Paris. The greatest amount of beggars I’ve seen have been in Rome.

I guess if you feel like you would like to give some money once in a while, carry some loose money around in your pocket and not in your wallet so they are easily accessible. If you see a beggar you’d like to give money, you only have to reach down your pocket. I know people say that giving beggars money do not solve the problem, but the beggar standing in front of you is a true incarnation of inequality. You can give money to UNICEF, Red Cross and other NGO’s, but they will not help the beggar in front of you in the current situation. Of course you can’t know if this beggar is going to buy booze or drugs, but I try my best not to judge. If booze gives this beggar a break form harsh reality, so be it. Who am I to judge. Then there’s beggars who are not really in need, but I do believe that most beggars would not beg unless they had to. Of course you can’t help everybody, but sometimes you can help someone in some little way.

Why not just take a section of your budget up front and earmark it for charity? Then you can split that up however you like. A good option might be to donate to an organization that helps the homeless, such as Une Chorba Pour Tous.

Perhaps take your budget and split it over four or five of the beggars you see regularly. Or even conversely the one’s you see less often. Then the others take from your pantry or give things you do not need. The only problem with this type of giving is an erratic reinforcement whereby they will be expecting things, so the best way to deal with that is make it a particular day. Like a Friday for example for the people you give money to and a Monday for those you give food to. I always tended to give more to those that were sober simply because I knew where the money would go so I would give food or clothes rather.

There is a lot of begging in Detroit. Imagine that!

There were a couple of times where I gave them money.

Once time it was when we went to a concert, there was a homeless man roaming around where we had parked. It was a pretty seedy parking lot. We gave him a pack of cigarettes and 10 bucks. He kept an eye on our vehicle all night.

Another time we were waiting in line to get into a bar. There was a kid rapping, trying to get some change. He was incredibly good. I gave him 10 bucks.

I do feel bad for a lot of these people. With the economy being as bad as it is there are a lot of people that are a couple paychecks away from being homeless themselves.

I don’t give to beggars on the street. I feel that for the most part the money will end up for drugs or alcohol. Some might say “well these people have a right to drugs and alcohol!” Do they have a right to drugs and alcohol? Yes but not with me paying for it.

In the field I work in, we end up giving a lot of our own money toward charitable causes and I always try to donate clothing and other items to people who need them, either through agencies or directly to the recipients themselves. I know that there are many social service agencies that help the poor, if the poor avail themselves of them.

A big thing that I have found is people asking for “money to get home.” I was in Hunts Point a few years ago (notorious drug section of the Bronx). We were working at the time, and a guy came up to us (myself and other female coworker) and said his car broke down and he needed money to get home. I told him to find the police department and ask them if he could use their phone or get some help getting home. If he was legit, he would have tried that. If not, not my problemo.

I also find at bus stops near my job, people will ask for “bus money to get home.” No dice. That story is getting old.

I never give cash to beggers but I used to give them cigarettes before I quit smoking, and I will sometimes give food. I also donate both money and food to a local charity for the homeless. Every year I take (uncooked) chrismas dinner to the shelter; a small turkey and enough potatoes and veg to give a good hot meal to about eight people.

But helping each one individually, every week, is like tying to stop up a leaky dam with your thumb. Giving cash to them will only go as far as their next meal and tomorrow they’ll be back in the same position again. But by giving to a charity that works on behalf of them, it goes into providing resources suh as shelters which can help them get back off the streets.

One time I was stood at a bus stop smoking a cigarette and a woman came up to me, begging for 50p for the bus fare to get her home. I refused and she wandered off to try her luck on someone else. She must have been successful because five minutes later she came back and offered me 50p to buy a cigarette off me. I refused that, too.

Whatever you choose to for the beggars, rest assured that someone will feel that you have made the worst decision. Personally, I will give them whatever change that I have (even addicts must have food to survive). I do make donations to the various Homeless Shelters when I have the finances to do so. Too many of us are in the position of being one or two paychecks away from being Homeless ourselves. There is no easy answer for this question about beggars, especially in today’s economy (worldwide economy). Too many cities are doing their best to make being homeless against the law. Unfortunately, too many big corporations are doing their best to avoid paying their fair share of taxes by hiding their profits in other countries outside of the US…. so they are making a profit from using our crumbling infrastructure to transport their goods to market & using American taxpayers as their customer base – but they are paying almost nothing back to Society as a whole.

Often it is harder to not give than it is to give.

You are in a foreign country and do not know the ropes. Don’t set yourself up for disaster. You can’t afford it.

Money donated to organized charities is a more efficient means of combating hunger and homelessness, i.e. you’ll do more good in the universe by giving that dollar to a charity than to someone on the street. Charities can buy food in bulk and at discounts so your dollar will help many more people than just that one person.

Think of it like this: what if there were 3 homeless people standing before you and you had the choice to feed them all with one dollar, or to give the one dollar to one guy and refuse the other two anything. The choice would be obvious. The problem comes because we like to feel good by receiving the instant feedback from the person receiving the handout, whereas we don’t get the same psychological reward when we write the check. So we need to get over our own desires to be praised in order to make the universe a better place by donating in a more efficient/effective manner.

I also like the idea of volunteering. That is a big help and a great way to contribute to humanity when you’re a poor student with some spare time.

I used to give change to “spangers” (In San Francisco, they used to call beggars that because they always asked “Spare change?”) I used to walk everywhere and I would get to know the regulars on certain corners and I would give them change now and then. I always put my change money in a front pocket far from my purse so I didn’t risk getting nabbed—or I didn’t have the embarrassing situation of money falling out.

I never cared what they spent the money on. I know people say that they will just spend it on booze or drugs. But I don’t care—they are grownups and can do with that money whatever they want. It’s my choice to give it to them but it’s not my choice to determine how they spend it.

Sometimes I’d take one I knew really well out for a cup of coffee and just talk to them a bit. Sometimes I’d get turned down because spangeing is a full time job for them and they don’t want to waste time off their corner. I knew a recovering addict who told me he used to pull in 30k a year in the late 80s from begging on the street corner. It all went into his arm, but that’s a serious money and time commitment.

Don’t ever give to beggars. It’s a waste of your money. I mean it! Don’t. Give. A. Penny.

@LuckyGuy is completely right. Listen to him.

I’ve been to India and know exactly what he’s talking about. You too are in a foreign country right now and honestly, you’re sounding rather naive. Be smart now, and don’t do this.

Many beggars are scammers. They make more money than you think, because they prey on people like you. The really good ones make way more money than you do.

Many beggars who are not scammers are either drug addicts, mentally ill, or have some sort of personality problem. They need help and that help is not going to come in the form of a coin being handed by a tourist who wants to feel better about himself.

Giving to beggers enables them. You are not helping them. You are making their problems worse actually. Giving to a beggar is like giving a struggling alcoholic a beer when he asks for one. Why would you do that? Because he wants it and because it makes you feel good to give it? Those are not good reasons. It just makes him worse.

Look into volunteering. It’s free and you will make friends. You will not go broke either.

My general rule is that if I have it, and I feel safe giving it, I do. When neither of those are applicable, I apologize to them sincerely and keep walking, driving, etc…

I don’t think I’d handle it well if I lived around a ton of them, my Catholic guilt would make me miserable because I think we’re all supposed to help each other when possible. Volunteering is always a good way to help the world.

@KNOWITALL

When I was in India and worked with the nuns there, if it’s any consolation, they didn’t give to beggars either. They worked so hard to take care of people at the homes that were set up, but in transit, no, they did not give to beggars.

I think if one were volunteering or doing some other positive thing to contribute, it’s rather easy to not give to beggars.

For example, I work in a hospital and almost everyday have to deal with crack addicts who come in with a variety of issues. I work hard to try and make them comfortable and happy with their stay.

I’ve done my part. I don’t need to give a crack addict the money I earned taking care of other crack addicts so that the one crack addict can go buy more crack.

@seekingwolf I don’t know much about the world of begging, but I don’t think it’s possible to compare Paris to India.

@seekingwolf I got ya, but I can’t pass someone thinking they won’t eat today because I didn’t give them the dollar in my pocket. I will never reject human suffering automatically I hope.

My friends at work tease me because of the quality of friends I make in the homeless community here but I feel really good about it.

@tups

There are scammers in every part of the world, and although they may exist in varying amounts, it’s foolish and naive to assume that it’s somehow okay and productive to give in one country but not other.

@KNOWITALL I think it’s more about making that donation stretch. The same money that you give to a homeless person (which he may or may not buy food with, he’ll probably buy drugs/alcohol with…) you could give to a reputable local food kitchen and they could feed SEVERAL with it.

@seekingwolf I do understand your rationale, but to me, it’s also about looking someone in the eyes and giving them your last dollar, it’s a personal sacrifice that humbles me. Like Jesus telling his disciples to leave everything and follow Him, it feels different.

To me a monetary donation is a good thing, for sure, but impersonal, I need that connection to resonate in my heart and mind, time after time, to remind myself to stay humble, tomorrow it could be me.

@seekingwolf You can tell I worked in India too. As you know well you cannot give no matter how your heart breaks.
If we want to make a real difference it is far better to hand out birth control rather than money. (Want to end poverty? Stop the ill equipped from making more mouths to feed. Yep, I said it. And I consider myself a flaming liberal!).

@tups Paris has Roma who are far more dangerous to naive visitors than disabled Indian beggars. @bookish1 is ill prepared to mix with that crowd. Far better for him to walk past no matter what they call out or say.

@KNOWITALL Be careful ! That kind, helpful, trusting attitude in some countries will get you eaten alive.

@keobooks: If you give money to beggars who spend it on drugs, and therefore it ends up in the hands of drug dealers, is that any different than giving to human traffickers who may use it to traffic sex slaves?

In Paris, the Roma / Gypsies (forgive me for sounding like I am stereotyping) often use young women holding what looks like a baby to beg. They are not the real action! They are merely a distraction so a 12 year old can come up behind you and grab your wallet.
Women will see the beggars and foolishly push their over the shoulder bags behind them to keep them away from the beggar. That lets an accomplice come up from behind and slice the strap and run.
Men button the top button on their pants packet and later find the pocket was slit through at the bottom. They use a well designed hooked razor blade.
In Italy a guy I know was shopping in a bakery. (We were are very aware of out surroundings an not naive) While he was standing at the counter in a nice bakery he was bumped from behind and needed to put his hands on the sloped glass counter to break his fall. The predators got him while both of his hands were against the glass counter.
I do not give to street beggars.

@bookish1 I hope you are taking notes, mon ami.

@LuckyGuy I know, that’s what everyone says – lol

@KNOWITALL Within 5 minutes of arriving in that city you’ll be saying to yourself “We’re not in Kansas any more.”
They play by different rules. You think you are a tourist. They think you are food.

Before I moved to a private community, I would let the bums eat out of my dumpster. There is no personal contact and you allow them to have their free meal. Also, let them dig through your recycled crap since they can make some cents off that as well.

If bums are able to eat meals out out of your trash, you’re throwing away too much.

It isn’t an exact science and we don’t eat leftovers.

@tomathon Eating leftovers is gonna save you a ton of money and it’s gonna prevent the major amount of food waste in the world.

Wow, no wonder you guys throw out enough to make a meal. Ick, that’s so wasteful.

Why not buy all your food in individual portions so you don’t waste so much?

Food waste is terrible for landfills. It harbors insects and breaks down into methane a greenhouse gas ~25 times more potent than CO2.

People can be excused for throwing out food once. Maybe they bought too much, or they did not like it, or they were allergic to it.
But, after that one free throw, doing it a second time means you do not learn from your mistakes. If a meal is too big cut it in half, freeze it, and have it another day.

We’re not huge on leftovers either. Rather than throwing them away, we freeze them and “repurpose” them at a later date.
Food is just too expensive to throw away.

You can also do a small compost heap and use it for your gardens!

@tups

I’m sure it will, but for us, leftovers are disgusting and money isn’t an issue. The taste is terrible when it is preserved via freezing or marination and I don’t want to eat the same meal again anytime soon.

@seekingwolf

What do you mean by individual portions? I think you’re being dramatic. It isn’t like wheel barrow of waste.

@tomathon I just think it’s absurd that people throw out food when a great amount of the people are in starvation.

@tomathon

I’m saying that if you aren’t going to eat all of a family portion, why not make smaller amounts? If I don’t want leftovers, I make 2 chicken breasts (for me and boyfriend) instead of 3–4.

It’s pretty sickening to be reminded again that there are people that wasteful. Money is no excuse. My parents are extremely well off and still eat leftovers often even though they don’t “have” to.

Throwing away eatable food is just plain wasteful. I’m glad I wasn’t raised that way.

Oh. Well like I said before, it isn’t an exact science. Moods/appetite change per day. Sometimes I can eat more, sometimes less. It is better to have enough food than a shortage of food. Guests might come. I might end up wanted 4 chicken breasts but only 2 were made.

Your standards are just different than mine. What you see as waste, I see it as normal. What you consider eatable, I consider it disgusting. To each their own.

Also, what you see as wasteful is not a problem as long as there are dumpster divers. They eat up the waste.

In the winter, I give my leftovers to the crows outside. Not in the summer, as I don’t want to have the food infested by maggots and I figure the crows probably do ok when the weather is nice out.

If I go out to eat with someone and I know I’m probably not going to eat the leftovers, I’ll offer it to my friend for her husband or herself to take. If it’s something where the uneaten portion is untouched, like half a calzone or a sandwich, it’s a good thing for her and I’m happy to not throw good food out.

Back to the original question, as far as beggars go, my personal safety is of the utmost importance so I would not be willing to take out my wallet to give money to people. If they really are in need, there are agencies where they can go to get a meal, and there are food pantries where they can get free groceries. I work right across the street from a homeless shelter, so I can also donate directly to them if I want to.