Social Question

Mama_Cakes's avatar

When meeting and talking with your childhood friend's parents, do you refer to them as Mr. or Mrs. ___, as an adult?

Asked by Mama_Cakes (11161points) August 5th, 2013

Or do you use their first name?

Just chatting with my old best friend’s Mom on Facebook. I haven’t talked to her in 25 years. When corresponding, I typed in Mrs. Ellison. It doesn’t feel right to call her by her first name.

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19 Answers

Seek's avatar

“Mrs. Shannon’s Mom”, just like I called her when I was a kid.

keobooks's avatar

I say Mr. and Mrs. and wait for them tell me to call them something else.

tups's avatar

First names. But Mr. and Mrs. forms are never used in Danish. It’s very informal, we always use first names.

Judi's avatar

Yep. I do the same thing. I don’t have many but they get the same respect they got when I was in school.

Mama_Cakes's avatar

“I say Mr. and Mrs. and wait for them tell me to call them something else.”

My friend’s Mom just did.

janbb's avatar

With most of my friends’ folks, I used their first names even when I was a child so I would continue to do so.

Adirondackwannabe's avatar

I came from a small town and we knew each other well, so we used first names. If I had any question about it I’d go with the Mr or Mrs and let them tell me what they preferred. Although there was the time I phoned and I addressed my friend’s father as “Hey Big Tool”. He laughed, I think you want my son.

GracieT's avatar

It really doesn’t feel right to me to refer to them by their first names until they tell me I can. I agree with @Judi that they still deserve the respect that I used to have for them. I have had a few laugh when I did, though. It’s just still hard to assume it’s OK until the ones that I still stay in contact with say so. The relationship I had with them hasn’t changed, they’re still my friend’s parents.

Pachy's avatar

Calling my childhood friends’ parents Mr. and Mrs. is an old, old habit I’ve never broken. I use their first names only when prompted to do so.

jca's avatar

I have only one that I knew since I was little, and they are Mr. and Mrs. to me, still.

El_Cadejo's avatar

I always start off calling all my friends parents Mr/Mrs whatever but in almost every case they’ve always told me to just call them by their first name, like @GracieT I’ve had a few giggle upon first meeting that I’d use Mr/Mrs. My one friend’s mom used to call me Eddie Haskell cause I was always so polite around adults :P

There are a few cases though where I call them mom/dad :P

KNOWITALL's avatar

Depends what kind of people they are, but normally I stick with Mr. & Mrs unless they invite me to do otherwise.

flip86's avatar

I had a fucked up childhood and was bounced around too much to make and keeps friends.

I do have a teacher that I’ve kept in touch with over the years who I’m on a first name basis with. She’s like a surrogate mother to me. She helped me through a lot of shit. I don’t know where I’d be if it wasn’t for her.

GracieT's avatar

Like @uberbatman I call one pair of them mom and dad, their daughter is still my sister. It really confuses people though. Most of the people in my life now were not when I was in school. MY mom died in 1992 and I think it really confuses people when I mention mom! :)

SadieMartinPaul's avatar

I always address my elders in a formal manner.

After I get to know somebody well, I’ll switch to the southern trick of “Miss Betty” or “Mr. Bob.” That approach is more affectionate and familiar, yet it’s still respectful.

Blondesjon's avatar

I have been married for twenty one years and have only called my Mother-In-Law Mrs. Moore.

shego's avatar

I was raised to say Mr. or Mrs. unless otherwise stated. So even as an adult, I still follow that rule. My Mother-in-Law requested that I call her by her first name. It took a bit of time to get use to it because of how I was raised.

srmorgan's avatar

I was 42 years old and CFO of a small company when I met my Assistant Controller’s parents.
They were European and in their 60’s, not much older than I am now, but I called them Mr and Mrs. Spalding then and when I have run into them a couple of times in the last few years, it is still Mr and Mrs Spalding. They are probably in their 80’s and I just can’t conceive of calling them Jim or Ann.

As my own mother used to tell me, mind your manners and respect your elders.

SRM

filmfann's avatar

I have two friends whose parents have issue with growing older, and they both demand to be addressed by their first names.

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