When you were growing up, at what age, if at all, did your parents allow your boyfriend or girlfriend sleep over in the same bed? If you have teenagers, do you allow them to have their girlfriends or boyfriends sleep over, in the same bed?

Never.

And my oldest is only 12, so I haven’t had to cross this bridge yet. I’m still not even sure of my position on the bridge yet…

I don’t remember any that slept at my place, even. I did sleep over at my one boyfriend’s place. It wasn’t a big deal. We started off in separate bedrooms (for show), then would sneak downstairs and have sex in the living room, lol.

Once, when we were at my place, my Dad came downstairs and caught us spooning on the sofa (fulling clothed), he gave my boyfriend the hairy eyeball. Dad was not amused. Prior to him coming downstairs, my boyfriend and I were dry humping on the couch. haha

I unofficially was not allowed to date until I graduated from high school. My first date was with someone I went to prom with. Second was in university. It’s been 12 years since I went on a date.

Never, either for me as a teen-ager or for my kids.

In fact, when I was 35, parent of two children and in a three-year relationship (but unmarried) my father got huffy about our sharing a bed under his roof. I got indignant and he caved in, finally and without much grace.

My teens weren’t allowed to have sleep overs in my house until after age 18.

My parents never let me do this.

We let our youngest son’s girlfriend stay a few times when he was a senior in high school. She was one year older than he was.

Before college, I never asked nor wanted to have a guy sleep in my bed. Probably my parents wouldn’t have allowed it, but I can’t say for sure.

My boyfriend visited me at home earlier this summer and slept in my bed with me. We’re at college together unsupervised for ¾ of the year, so it’s not as though they have control over whether sex happens anymore. Besides, they don’t disapprove of me having sex at my age. They know that I do and I even asked if they would leave the house at some point during my boyfriend’s visit and they obliged.

I didn’t have a boyfriend until I was 19, and we didn’t share any kind of bed until after I was a self sufficient adult in my own apartment.

I have no idea how I’ll approach the idea with my son. He’s five. Give me time.

When I married my boyfriend. LOL That would’ve never happen at my parents home.
I allowed it for my daughter after she was already living with her boyfriend for a year.
They were planning to marry and both had already graduated from college. I always figure once a person graduates from college and is working, they are full grown adults. She is my youngest so there was no danger of her setting a bad example for a minor sibling.
If she did have a minor sibling then I probably would’ve suggested they either get a hotel room or sleep in separate rooms.

When I was seventeen (and she 15, I think, although she also skipped a grade), I accidentally fell asleep in bed with my girlfriend at her house over Christmas break. Her mom was permissive. I’m sure that her dad wasn’t pleased, but he never voiced an objection as far as I knew. After that (definitely by summer), sleeping with her became a regular thing. Since I was far too Catholic at the time, we never had intercourse , which turned out to be an epic regret in my life, but that’s for another question.

I just had to be up in time to bring the car back home so my mom or dad could go to work. Somehow, my dad either chose to ignore this whole scenario or was oblivious, or I don’t know what, but it came clear a couple of years later when my sister started dating that he did not remember me doing this. When that same girlfriend came to visit (to where we had recently moved) over another Christmas break, he absolutely forbade us from sleeping in the same room.

Listening to your story and others, it sounds like the lack of endorsement is more for the parents’ comfort level than any sort of effective prevention. I suppose, too, it lessons the risk of pregnancy or other psychosocial complications, but really, it doesn’t do anything for prevention.

My son had regular sleep overs with all his friends. When he was 17 he had a couple of girls sleeping over. I didn’t find out until the next morning when my husband woke me up and said, “You better go and talk to him because it will be bad if I do”. It happened twice more with one girl because she kept getting kicked out if her house. I didn’t want her wandering the streets.

I lived in group homes for a lot of my teenage life, and no way are they ever okay with any of that. But my dad was cool, and although he may have felt uneasy at times, he let a lot of my street friends crash on the couch for the night. Not the same thing as a boyfriend no, but my dad was a generous man, and he was always okay with the few boyfriends I did have. he may have secretly wanted to kick their asses, but he never told me about it haha
My dad trusted me to be responsible and taught me well, but I did fuck up every now and then. Sometimes I would spend the night at someone’s place, and not notify him. Got myself served when I went back home. Once I did notify him, and he came to the guy’s place and dragged my ass back home lol.

When I was 17, I could sleep over at his house. He didn’t get to stay with me until I was about 19.

No my parents would never allow that. As a parent I did not either.

Having a girl sleep over in those Stone Age days of the late ‘50s was something that had less chance of my getting permission for—or for that matter, even thinking about—as my sprouting wings or walking on Mars. In fact, after I had turned 20 and was living in my own apartment 1500 miles away from home, I still got into trouble with a girl’s parents for her sleeping over!

I never had kids but I’m pretty sure I would never have allowed them to sleep with the opposite sex under my roof.

My kids are 17, boy and girl. They have both had sleep overs of the opposite sex in their beds. My daughter is on birth control and I have lectured my son heavily on this. I feel like that’s all I can do. My daughter doesn’t do it at my house anymore after I talked to her about it ( why the hell was she having sex with a boy in the middle of the afternoon in her room, that she told me was only a ‘friend’ ) and my son hardly ever does it.

When I was 16 and 17 my mother left me at home on weekends from Spring till Fall, in charge of my brother two years younger. We could do anything we wanted, and we did. We survived.

Oh, hell no.

When we got married. So, 22.

I’ve known quite a few young couples that live with the parents of one or the other. That’s so odd to me, especially when it’s the girl’s parents. What the hell are they thinking?

@livelaughlove21

My husband (boyfriend at the time) moved in with me for a few months when I was living at home. We were both 20, almost 21. I was at home because I had just returned from college 2,000 miles away and didn’t have enough money to live on my own yet. My boyfriend was living with friends in an apartment, then they were all evicted, so my boyfriend needed a place to stay.
Shit happens. My parents offered their home because they cared about us. We both had jobs and helped with things around the house. We eventually moved out, got married, had a baby and lived happily ever after. :)

My mom let my guy friends and girl friends stay for a party a few times, but only like 2 or 3 at a time. Nothing ever happened because we were all just friends, and she trusted me not to be sneaking around, I was a good girl – lol

I don’t have kids, but I won’t even let girls stay over when my 14 yr old niece does, because they keep talking about drinking and sneaking out, so nope, no trust.

I was allowed to do pretty much whatever the hell I wanted when I was growing up in the 80s, including having boys sleep over in my bed. I was probably 16 or so when that started, and I think we at first pretended he was sleeping in the second bed I had in my bedroom.

This has never even come up with my own teenagers thank goodness. The two oldest are college students now (at 19 and almost 18 years old), and I think I would consider allowing it for them at this point. I kind of doubt their father and stepfather would approve, though. The youngest is 15, so nope!

@jonsblond I’m not talking about couples in their 20’s. I’m talking 15 or 16. I’m also not talking about parents helping out their child’s boyfriend or girlfriend when they have no other options. I’m talking about little girls saying they don’t want to live with their parents anymore because they’re sick of chores and rules and think they’re grown ups when they get away from mommy and daddy.

Yikes, that is sad @livelaughlove21, at such a young age. The only reason I could see that being allowed is if the young girl was pregnant. The only reason I’d let a girl that age stay with my sons (when they were that age) is if she was being abused at home. What parent would let that happen otherwise? ugh

…You’re kidding, right?

My niece feels like both parents are ruining her life by not letting her run at night. I explained rape. Hard to do.

No for me and oh hell no way no when it comes to my daughter (when we reach that age). My stepsister lets her teens’ boyfriends and girlfriends sleep over.

I’m trying to recall if my ex-husband ever slept over while we were dating. I was over 20, and I think he did just once or twice because I only had a twin bed. After my divorce I moved back to my childhood home and had overnight guests and one bf lived with us there for a few years.

My son’s ex-gf stayed overnight here when they were dating—he is over 20. She was 19 when they started dating, and her parents didn’t want her to stay the night, so she’d get up at 2:00 a.m. and drive home. To me that was risking her falling asleep behind the wheel, I’d rather she just stayed and slept. Eventually, she saw the sense in that and her parents got over it.

When I was 17 and pregnant.
....it’s not like I was going to get knocked up again so at that point it didnt matter.

My parents did not allow friends overnight, same or opposite. The reason was that my brother and I shared a room, and our three sisters shared the other upstairs bedroom, so there was not a lot of room for any type of privacy if there were any more kids over.

Even when I was an adult, living in another state, and brought my fiancee home for a visit, because we were not married, we had to sleep in separate rooms. (This was in the Eighties, and we were in our thirties). The same situation occurred when we visited her parents as well!.

As parents we have a similar rule. Our adult children live in the same town with their respective partners, so it’s not an issue. Our youngest is soon to be 14. We are very selective with permission for sleep-overs, and it would be difficult for me to imagine giving her permission to stay overnight at a boy’s house, or even at a girl’s house if there are going to be boys there (other than siblings).

College.