What is the guide for your life?

I believe that there is something out there. I believe that once we die, that that’s not it. There is more. I have my reasons.

We’ll leave it at that.

Treat people the way you want to be treated. Simple.

”do not be a dick”

I’m an atheist, but I honor the Family of Man. A person doesn’t need religion to have integrity, do the right thing, and treat other beings with kindness and respect.

Anything that brings comfort from anguish I follow, I’m retired for now.

To the best of your ability, do the right thing.

This list is not exhaustive, but as I (an atheist) have thought about my own guiding principles, these come to mind:

Be kind; the smallest gesture of kindness will reap returns that can’t be counted.
Be wise; think before acting and know that actions have repercussions in both positive and negative ways.
Be generous; share your wealth, both material and spiritual.
Be joyful; know what is precious in life and celebrate it.
Be nurturing; love yourself and others. Be especially caring of those who aren’t as strong and capable as yourself.
Be humble; know that your good fortune likely arose from the loving acts of others.
Be human; cry out in pain and sorrow; roar with laughter often.

Polaris.

What do you mean by “devolve”? As used, it makes no sense and detracts from your question.

I stick to the Golden Rule and the belief that I am sure only of how I live this life here now.

(Raison d’être)

I also like “This too shall pass”.

Be a good person.

My parents weren’t religious so I can’t claim they taught me anything. Not killing and stealing just sort of came built-in.

Functioning Alcoholism For Dummies – 3rd Edition

@Picante Did you come up with those? They’re great!

Another for “don’t be a dick”.

I also try to remember that while life is short, it’s the longest running activity I’ll ever take part in. I try to make myself proud of me. Try to be the kind of person I admire. I’m stuck with me, after all, and I have no one to blame but myself.

When my aunt went witchy she said I couldn’t say God around her or her friends, do any of you feel that way? If so why?

Say whatever you want, just don’t preach to my kid. Then we’ll fight.

I need a guide? I’m not looking to get anywhere so I don’t need a guide.

Yeah, also another for ‘Don’t be a dick” as well as @rojo‘s “to the best of your ability, do the right thing”. And this: “I use to go by the golden rule, but I’m a masochist, so now I say, ‘Do what makes you happy, just don’t be mean.’” -Kate Bornstein. Not a masochist, personally, but a good update all the same.

More specifically, I’m close to a humanist, but I’m not well-read in that enough to claim it entirely. But close.

As to the other question. I certainly wouldn’t. Like @Seek_Kolinahr I may argue about things but i certainly wouldn’t ban the word. What would be the point, even? (Also, went witchy? Am I just not up on my slang?)

I don’t need any outside power to make me do the right thing. I was raised in a very religious family, and received my guidance from that as a child, but also from society norms as an adult.

Reason tempered with compassion. Compassion tempered with reason. I don’t need an external reason of any kind—religious or secular—to be kind rather than cruel. We may be all alone in the universe, but we’re still in this together.

So where does that lead us? My own view is that modern ethics took a dramatic wrong turn when it started conceiving of morality as something that governs only our interactions with others. Ancient ethics seems to have been more on the mark in thinking that the real question was an overall good life, which concerns both our interactions with others and the cultivation of our own selves. I also agree with those ancient ethicists who claimed that virtue is not something that one can memorize, but must rather be developed by living it.

Full details would be boring, however, so here’s what I take to be a fairly insightful summary written by Neil deGrasse Tyson:

“I am driven by two main philosophies, know more today about the world than I knew yesterday. And along the way, lessen the suffering of others. You’d be surprised how far that gets you.”

“Have a loving and compassionate heart.”

Having had a spiritual awakening as a result of the twelve steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

“There’s only one rule that I know of, babies- God damn it, you’ve got to be kind.”

Does anyone admit that they were bad and now are not? I sure can. I’m not sure what was me & what was my Deity though.

I don’t think you can go wrong with the simple philosophies of “do no harm” and “live and let live.” I don’t need a book to tell me what feels wrong.

“Be kind, for everyone you know is fighting a great battle.”

So religion is redundant because our psyche has an ‘auto correct’ as we mature? In normal brains?

@KNOWITALL Religion is meaningful and a guide for those who find it meaningful and a guide. I don’t think we have to have this discussion here.

Do the right thing. When it’s not clear, do what causes the least harm.

@Janbb I specifically posed it for our comfort to be open & free. I am comfy & curious, no negativity at all. :)

^^^You are using the “bait and switch” tactic. Your original question was “What is the guide for your life?” You directed this specifically at “atheists and other non-religious folks.”

Segueing into “So religion is redundant because our psyche has an “auto correct” as we mature?” is muddled, but seems to be asking for, once again, a free-for-all.

In spite of your disclaimer that you didn’t want the discussion to “devolve,” by which I am guessing that you meant “disintegrate into name-calling or nastiness” since “devolve” makes no sense, you are now changing horses in mid-stream

All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten
by Robert Fulghum

No kidding. I read that book the summer between high school and college and thought, “That’s it. I got it.”

Okay then sigh No one tells me what they believe in, just what they don’t. That’s my point, I’m interested.

^^^ Twenty-three people above told you what they believe in.

Well, I believe in the soul, the cock, the pussy, the small of a woman’s back, the hanging curve ball, high fiber, good scotch, that the novels of Susan Sontag are self-indulgent, overrated crap. I believe Lee Harvey Oswald acted alone. I believe there ought to be a constitutional amendment outlawing Astroturf and the designated hitter. I believe in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve and I believe in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days.

I probably believe in most of the same things you do, @KNOWITALL…just minus the god part. Whatever you attribute to God, I attribute to humanity and science. To the natural world. I don’t begrudge you your belief in a deity, I just don’t believe in one myself.

My conscience is my guiding principle. If I can sleep soundly, then I know I’m doing alright. When I’ve gotten caught up in any behavior that is dishonest or hurtful, I can’t sleep. The concept behind the golden rule is the basic premise, because I generally empathize and imagine myself in other people’s situations pretty naturally.

[mod says] Please remember: This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Stop making me mod a question I’m involved in, you guys!

It appears that love & empathy are traits in most of us. Jesus & John Lennon!

@KNOWITALL Yes! And the ones who don’t have it are sociopaths.

I forgot to address something you asked earlier, about having been bad in the past or something to that effect. I wouldn’t say I was a bad person in the past, but I was definitely more self-centered as a teenager. Vain, and more concerned about what people thought of me (or how I looked) than I was about how they were doing. Also much more interested in things that directly affected me, and not so concerned with how things affected the wider world.

I would guess that’s fairly normal for a teenager/young adult, but that we outgrow it.

This is the only life I’ve got so I must make it count.

I am responsible for my own actions.

Nothing should be given nor accepted for free.

I use the “conservation of grief” principle be a guide. The goal is to minimize grief in the world while trading a little of my own. For example, if I pick up a hitchhiker and it takes me one minute out of my way to save the other person 10 minutes, I do it. That is a ratio of 10 to 1.

Set your own ratio. A pension stealing, money grubbing CEO like JT Battenburg might be 1,000,000 to 1. Mother Theresa would be 1 to 1. I’m at about 5 to 10 to 1.

@KNOWITALL Did you just put Jesus and John Lennon in the same category?

Even as a spiritual person I never based my life guides on religion. I was guided by my parents then as I got older by my education and heart.

@chyna

”... and the time will come when you will see that we’re all one and life goes on
within you and without you…”

or was that George?

^ That was George. Some of my favorite lyrics of all time.

I’m not religious, nor have I ever been, but I’ve read a good deal of books and material from secular afterlife researchers such as Findlay, Doyle, Crookall, etc and the message is always the same: being kind and in service to others.

Imagine all the people living for today…

The point is to learn and to help others, to make things right, to make things better. I am an atheist.

I am the guide for my life. I believe we all are, regardless of whether we seek to outsource responsibility or not. Through living life, I’ve developed an innate sense of what is right and what is wrong. It is the Golden Rule in action, and the golden rule has been articulated in cultures all across the world, each worshiping completely different gods, so it isn’t god given. It didn’t even show up in the Abrahamic religions till thousands of years after it was first written. It was “borrowed” by the Christian God.

We see the beginnings of it at work in higher order social animals. They express empathy, look out for weaker in-group members, and even for the vulnerable of other species at times. So it is self evident to intelligent life forms who live in social groups that the needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few.

It also is supported by game theory. In a social order, there are two diametrically opposed strategies, and then a middle ground in between. There’s look out for number one and screw everybody else. There’s altruism, where you put the needs of society above self, and where your empathy leads you to sacrifice things you might want for yourself for the good of someone in greater need than you. And there is trying to be a fence straddler, some sort of split personality between Atilla the Hun and Mahatma Ghandi. Interestingly, in game-theory simulations, the two poles do better than the middle ground, but altruism produces a FAR superior society to either the Gordon Gekko “Greed is Good.” philosophy or the fence straddlers who try to enjoy the best of greed and good.

@chyna I DID, and I see a direct correlation between the two peacemakers.

Thanks all! Remember, I’m in the Bible Belt and studying things via books it much different than personal contact, even via fluther.

I’m still not getting much on alternative lifestyles/ belief systems in detail, but perhaps some of you will favor me with more detail via PM sometime. Peace.

What do you mean by ‘No one tells me what they believe in, just what they don’t’? Most of us have given you simple philosophies we live by, those are things we ‘believe in’, though many of us may choose to describe it differently then believe. Personally I’d call it ‘trust’, since my philosophy has served me well so far and I trust it to continue to do so, but the thought behind it is most likely similar. ‘Don’t be a dick’ and ‘do no harm’ are things not to do, but most of us have given more beyond that.

As to ‘alternative lifestyles’, what kind of details are you looking for? If you give more specifics it would make it easier to answer.

@BhacSsylan I was trying to explain that in normal fluther life, I hear what people don’t believe in, just what they don’t. I wasn’t referencing the above posts on this thread specifically, and since it got a little confrontational, I chose not to respond to any negativity because that defeats the purpose of the Q.

So we have no tree worshippers, no witches or warlocks, no Buddhists, no Wiccans, no Muslims or any alternate belief systems apparently. I find that odd and unbelievable, that’s where I was going with my aunt’s conversion from Christian missionary to witch (of some kind.) I’ve meet a couple Wiccans, and it was cool, but one sect here the leader told me they didn’t believe in monogamy, so I was just curious about that kind of detail.

Ah, okay, then that was not clear. As to the lack of other belief systems, you did start this with “Atheists and other non-religious folks”, so I’m not surprised you didn’t get “Buddhists, no Wiccans, no Muslims or any alternate belief systems”, since those are all religious. You specifically said you wanted to heard from those who do not have a god.

@BhacSsylan I wanted an open honest discussion about belief systems. My wording and phrasing may not have been very clear, I’ll admit, I was confused myself about what I wanted.

Perhaps a new question may be warranted then. In general, ‘tree worshipers’, witches, and warlocks are not a very large segment of the population. Most of those I know who practice Wicca would not consider themselves a witch or warlock, and ‘tree worshiper’ would be something else entirely. Druid? Anyway, those also don’t make up a large segment of the population; according to world statistics the total of ‘other religions’, those that are not abrahamic, Hindu, Buddhist, Sikh, Jewish, or Baha’i, are only 10.95%, and wicca and druidic/neopagan traditions are going to be a small percentage of that as well since a large chunk is made up of ‘religious but non-affiliated’ (recent stats on Wicca put it only at around 300,000, or .004% of the world population, and it’s one of the larger ones). So, the chances of finding someone on this site, which only boast (i think, Auggie can correct me if I’m wrong) several thousand members total is going to be tough. Possible, but tough.

Now, Muslim, Hindu, and Buddhist should be much easier to find, but again those are religious and Muslim and Hindu are specifically theistic (Buddhist… possibly is, but it’s trickier and depends on the Buddhist), so you’ll need to make it clear that you’re looking for those experiences. Perhaps asking for simply non-christian, or specifically non-christian faiths (since you already got a lot of atheistic responses here) would serve you better.

@BhacSsylan good points, I did not get what @KNOWITALL was really looking for from her question either. Although, from re-reading it, I can see my answers were not spot on either.

@rojo Moving forward, I’ll post Q’s in the am, by evening I’m just too tired. :O Sorry all.

It could be that we have an innate sense of morality or perhaps whether we realize it or not, we form our guideways from the society we are raised in. The old nature or nurture question.

Personally, not have attended church except to be christened and then on special occasions for other people and the occasions foray on Sunday to keep my wife happy when she was attending semi-regularly I cannot see where the christian religions had a direct influence on my guidelines. I have read many different religious writings looking for perspective and I suppose that would have some effect. But, then again I have read many books. There is an equally good chance that it was Heinliens’ “Stranger in a Strange Land” or Delany’s “Dahlgren” or Tolkiens’ “Lord of the Rings” that set the tone for my life. If we go back further it could have been Seuss’s “Horton Hears a Who” and all the rest of his works.
Yep, thinking about it, I am going to go with the last one.

@rojo You left out Pooh Bear and Christopher! :) I get your point completely.

Never was a big pooh fan. Don’t know why.

Oh, and I also detested the Berenstein Bears when my kids wanted me to read to them.

But I digress…......

@rojo Pooh was pretty ‘white bread’, but I still have my 70’s Pooh record player, it’s cool.

The Berenstein bears were very Jesus-y.

I can see the Dr Seuss thing. An elephant’s truthful 100%. A person’s a person no matter how small. Unless someone like you cares a whole awful lot, nothing’s going to get better, it’s not.

But, @Seek_Kolinahr, if Jesus did exist, and if the things that he is alleged to have said are correct, then he and Dr. Seuss are not that different in their perspective. Same goes for the Bhudda for that matter.

That’s arguable, but I see your point.

All in all, I’m good with the Jesus person, apart from the standing up for OT law. I’m pretty cool with Buddha, too.

Wisdom is wisdom, no matter how you come by it. The important thing is to distinguish a lesson to be learned from a person to be idolized.

@Seek_Kolinahr Interesting difference, I’m going to think about that.

@Seek_Kolinahr Which Dr. Seuss book did this come from? “Wisdom is wisdom, no matter how you come by it.”

Been wanting to get to this for awhile, but no time

I can’t say that I have a “guide for life”. I used to think along those lines, i.e. that I pilot my course according to my ideals, and so string together a narrative that I call “my life”. In that way of thinking, it makes sense to have a kind of guiding directive so that “right” choices are made and goals achieved.

But that’s not how I see it these days. It feels more accurate to say that life is itself the guide. My job is not so much to craft a life to my liking as to be life’s attentive student. That “attention” piece is super important—maybe the most important thing. To be fully attentive, I have to set aside my agenda and my schemes and my certainties….and just open up and be receptive.

It’s like throwing away the map with it’s reassuring markings and legends, and seeing what the landscape itself reveals. That’s not a good strategy if you’re interested in getting someplace in particular, but that’s not what matters to me. I’m more interested in fully being wherever I am.

The more I manage to do that, the more it seems that what needs doing gets done, the smoother things seem to flow, and the less stress I experience and cause.

@rojo Actually, I first read “wisdom is wisdom, no matter how come by” in one if my favorite novels, The Mists of Avalon by the late Marion Zimmer Bradley.

Been many a year since I read that one.

@Seek_Kolinahr Added to my Goodreads.com “Want to Read” bookshelf.

Be curious.

Television.

Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe.

Here’s another one:

The best things in life aren’t things.