How does one learn how to better comfort oneself, when dealing with anguish?

Do you not have resources like a therapist or a social worker?

@gailcalled No… I have a doctor and he tells me not to see a psychologist at this time. He wants me to do simple things first, like pay my bills and start a food coulomb in the newspaper .

Why? Do you have a job? What about at least group therapy.

From your questions and answers here, I get the impression that you are lonely, isolated and very unhappy, with not enough to do.

@gailcalled I am on disability. I just volunteer were I am welcome. I am trying to fit in, I have some friends in my boarding house. I haven’t seen a family member since October 20th 2012. I just got a thanks but no thanks letter from the military today.

Unfortunately, this only comes with experience. You have to suffer to know how to cope with it. There is not a 100% success rate however, even with experience.

Do the thing’s that make you happy. Play with puppies, free art museum, garden. Failure means you’re brave enoughtoTRY!

The Human Society is in need of volunteer dog walkers. Invigorating it is, to get a pooch out of its cage, and help another creature, while doing something healthy. You meet friends along the way too. Might even decide to help them with events.

It’s a first small step upon a path that leads to somewhere very satisfying.

I like to walk in or watch out a window nature. Sometimes I take a hot bath or have a cup of hot tea.

Here is a list of dozens of volunteer opportunities in the Red Deer area, if you are still living there.

http://volunteerreddeer.ca/community/volunteer-opportunities

(Humane Society)

What kind of food column are you thinking of? From what you have mentioned here, your diet is pretty restricted and not very creative.

Here’s a way of contacting the Red Deer SPCA if you like working with animals.

http://www.reddeerspca.com/volunteer.php

If it’s specifically at night, while you’re lying in bed, try getting your mind on other things. Read a good book, watch a funny movie or TV show, do crossword puzzles, etc.

Everyone has failed in loads of different ways. Some ponder on them some do not. Some use them as lessons to learn from or to make their life better. I know how you feel. For me it is about keeping my mind busy and letting people in. That seems to diminish the self recrimination a little.

I also live on disability and have a lot of time on my hands. At least, I used to until I started a part-time internship, which is ending in 4 weeks without a promise to become permanent.

Before the internship and the training that went before, I volunteered a lot. I was active at the local library teaching English as a second language. They also tutored people in reading skills. They trained all their volunteers. Libraries are a great place to volunteer even if you’re just dusting the books and shelves. They are enormously appreciative, and it might get your mind off your situation.

I also volunteer with my local community theater. This is specialized, and it’s not for everybody. Still, it’s something to consider. Community theaters need ushers for shows, and people to help swing a hammer and build sets. One doesn’t have to act to be active in theater. We have one fellow who helps us by simply sweeping the stage before every show, and he is greatly appreciated for it.

Writing is a great idea. Start a blog, or do as your doctor suggests and write a food column for the local paper. I write a blog. It’s small, but it gives me focus.

Let me ask you a question, @talljasperman. What would you do without the limitations that you currently have? You do not have to answer that question here. Think about it. Ask other people who know you what you may be able to do to take one small step toward reaching that goal.

Happy Birthday @talljasperman.

You sound like you’re in dire need of a comfort wank.