Is there any way that we can possibly prepare to lose someone in our life...someone who was there for a reason, and not for a lifetime?

Have a diversified friendships… Have lots of friends and be honest seeing time with anyone can be short.

It happens, I have lost so many people that were young and it was a shock. Even when my parents died for example they were elderly but it was still a shock. You can never prepare. I am not sure about the ‘reason’ part. Maybe we see the reason maybe we don’t.

I am not losing the person to death…they are just “moving” out of my life. Sorry about your losses.

I don’t buy the “they were there for a reason” part, because the implies all sorts of things relating to predestination and free will, and I have huge issues with the idea of someone being a puppeteer and pulling everyone’s strings.

That said, there is no real way to prepare for a person’s departure. You can try to deal with it rationally, but the fact is that it will still hurt when they are gone.

A lot of it depends on how and why they depart. My dad went into the hospital with kidney, lung, and cardio problems, and it was rough for a month, but we all knew (and I think he did too) that he wasn’t going to ever go home.

My therapist asked me if I had any unfinished business with my dad, and I honestly said no. He knew I loved him, I knew he loved me, and we had made peace years before over whatever fathers and sons disagree over. It was still sad when he died, but it was not a surprise and it ended his suffering. So I was not devastated.

And the same thing with a friend who everyone loved who was in ICU for a year awaiting a liver transplant that ended up being a liver and bowel transplant. When Hank died it was sad, but again, everyone, including his teenage daughters, was finally at peace in some ways.

But it was devastating when a local 15 year old committed suicide last January. The whole town was set back, and many people are still in a bit of shock about it.

You can do what I do and try not to get too attached to anyone.

It gets kinda lonely sometimes though

Think of life like a story book. Turn the page and new characters may appear.

This is going to sound awful but its true. My first husband threatened suicide so many times during our marriage that I had a good feeling he would eventually follow through in spite of my love and support. I planned how I would react if it DID happen. I think I did most of my mourning before he died.
Was I devastated when he died? Of course I was, but I had a plan moving forward and I think my recovery was easier because I had not kept my head in the sand of denial like an ostrich and prepared my heart for what was inevitable.
I know I was judged for moving on with my life so quickly, but no one knows whats in my heart and what was in our relationship and all the mourning I had done before he died.

I think the question could also be, “Is it better to grieve a little every day or a lot when someone dies?” When we prepare for inevitably sad events, we shut off a part of our emotions. We close ourselves up a bit. We’re living in the unknown future and not fully in the present.

My logical choice is to intellectually know that anything can happen at any time and to try to live in the present as much as I can. I’d rather enjoy my time now at this moment than enjoy part of it while thinking that I might not have many more.

We grieve because we love so much that it hurts. Isn’t that really a beautiful thing?

@Judi I remember you mentioning you had a previous husband but I had no idea how he did. :\