Is this just being spiteful?

I think your hesitation is well founded. That would be a very passive-aggressive way to address the problem: using an indirect and deceitful approach to express your frustration so as to avoid the consequences of confrontation. It may very well be that she has wronged you, but you need to address the situation in a more direct and honest manner.

There is a possiblility that they would suspect you sent it and it could backfire on you. Even if they have no proof, just thinking that you sent the letter might make the woman treat you worse.
The only way to address this is to talk to the woman in person. I know it’s easier said than done.
You could also start looking for another job as you seem to have other issues with this job from your other posts. Your boyfriend’s ex keeps coming in and stresses you out to the point you get sick and this woman treats you bad.

@chyna I think that seems like the most logical answer, I’m going to have to leave. Just wish there were jobs around.

There is also the issue of your coping skills and your extreme sensitivity. Any job where you have other people around will trigger the same reactions. Unless you can find work as a research assistant in an isolated cubicle or office, you may need (as we have suggested before) to deal with your emotional difficulties.

Even being invited to some office parties or social events put you into a major tizzy.

I agree with @thorninmud .
If this person really bothers you YOU need to SPEAK up and not play passive aggressive games.
2 wrongs never make a right and being passive aggressive towards someone that is rude to you puts you squarely in the same camp of dysfunctional “communication.”

Unfortunately life is filled with annoying people and most of them are found at the workplace. Part of being a team player is ignoring the irritating behaviors some people have. If you left you may find other annoying people wherever you go to also. The best way to deal with a person like this is take them to lunch and ask them why they find you annoying and point out some actual events.

@Coloma Exactly, unfortunately. Thank you.

@Headhurts I am dealing with a P.A. person now in my work..OMG! I am handling things well, but jesus..I want to throttle them. lol

@Coloma Why is it always the ones though, that everyone else loves? We work the closest together, therefore I can’t always get away from her. Friday, I only spoke to her for work reasons. When no one else is there, she bends right in my face (I am small, she is quite tall) and says shit like, ” will you manage without me” “do you want to talk me through now to press the button, so I know you can cope”. I’ve tried telling two others, and they just won’t believe it.

@Headhurts Is she above you or at the same level? Does she do the same job as you?

@JLeslie We do the same job, but she is above me. There are 3 receptionists, me and one other are part time. She is full time, so she’s senior receptionist.

If “to literally everyone else, the sun shines out of her arse” doesn’t that suggest that maybe the problem is with you?

No one else works side by side with her. The others are the beauty therapists and the physiotherapists. They don’t work with her. I’ve told the other receptionist, and she said she sees what I mean, but shes not like it with her because she is older, so she obviously respects that.

@Headhurts I believe that how she talks to you feels demeaning, and that her leaning in to your height is not very polite, but is it possible she just wants to make sure you feel ok with her walking away for a bit? If you put yourself in her place, she is just double checking you’re on top of it and asking your “permission” to leave.

Sometimes I am the tallest and I hate it, I have caught myself standing less straight to try to not be towering. She might be uncomfortable and feel it is like talking down towards you when she stands tall, but I agree with you leaning in on you would easily feel uncomfortable if I were you. Next time she does it can you lean back? Like she is getting too close? Maybe she will get the hint? I’m not big on hints, I usually say be direct, but a hint might be worth a try. Maybe next time she asks if she should watch you do something answer, “Don’t worry, I got it, if I have a question I’ll ask you.”

@JLeslie I’ve been there over 2 years, she doesn’t need to ask me the stuff she does. I feel she could be like she is because we are so ridiculously quiet, and there is no work, that she perhaps fears for her job, and feels she has to belittle me to feel important.

@Headhurts Oh, so next time why not say back to her, “why do you aske me that, I’ve been here two years of course I know how to push the button.”

She might just ask out of habit, and to her it doesn’t mean anything. Or, are you saying she never asks anyone else that works part time the same question?

Are you worried they might get rid of you since there is so little work to be done? Or, if not you specifically then one of the people who does do the same job you do? Are part timers there mostly to cover breaks more than anything?

@JLeslie Thats a good one, will try to say that. You see, in real life, I don’t answer back, don’t stand up for myself. I’m an easy target. The other part timer is there on the days I’m not and she is about 15 years older than her. She said they have had fall outs. I think this woman is worried about her job. We are opened 8am till 7pm. I tend to start about 10 or 11 until the end. She goes home at 4.30. One day in 3 week, it is just me and the other part timer.

@Headhurts Do you think the company is looking to get rid of someone?

@JLeslie No.

@Headhurts I don’t really see her actions as demonstrating she is afraid about losing her job, so I asked the question to see if maybe there is a general feeling in the office someone is going to be eliminated. Who knows why she does or says what she does, we can’t assume. Only way to know is to ask.