Whats the best way to talk to someone about my beliefs?

Your friend is agnostic not atheist.

If they are curious about your faith, they will ask you about it.

Proselytizing in a good way to end a friendship.

Don’t. Stop trying to be a control freak! Just live your life.

@yankeecandlee: “It’s relatively scary for me that they don’t!”

Maybe you could explore this some more. Find out why you’re scared. Work that out in your time, and just be there for your friend as a friend.

Religion is like a penis. It’s okay to have one, it’s okay to be proud of it, but it’s not okay to whip it out in front of everyone especially without consent or shove it into someone’s face. LOL

Point being…don’t even try to change their mind. Would you like it if someone tried to make you become Muslim or Buddhist?

From one Christian to another, I understand your feelings, and if they are asking you questions about whether it’s disturbing you or not, you should be open and honest with them about how you feel. Perhaps God is trying to use you to help your friend, the ways of God are strange. :) Just have love in your heart and you’ll be okay.

Why would you guys even need to discuss it?

I foresee that this will be a very short relationship because of your beliefs. I think it’s awesome that he just lives and lets live, and sad that you can’t do that.

An observation: Jesus was motivated by love; be careful not to be about fear and control.

The part of your question I find most concerning is that you are scared for him because he no longer believes as you do.

I’m going to go in the assumption that the only thing that can inspire THAT degree of concern is your mistaken assumption that if he does not share your beliefs completely that he may end up burning in the flames of an eternal hell.

You are asking for advice specifically from fellow Christians and my best advice for you is to begin the process, for yourself, of re-thinking WHY you believe in hell. If its just because its part and parcel of what you’ve been taught, then you really need to figure out why YOU believe in this cruelty.

Just because you’re surrounded by Christians who believe this is not good enough. You need to know why YOU believe this. Or you need to find out IF you really do believe in a God who is capable of that degree of cruelty.

I mean, ETERNAL flames? Really? What happened to forgiveness? Jesus tells us to forgive seventy times seven and turn the other cheek but his Father reserves the right to torture forever with no forgiveness and no mercy?

Is it any wonder your friend is questioning?

I am a Christian but I absolutely do not believe in this entire burning in hell forever part. That is the product of the cultural times in which it was created (The Dark Ages).

The earliest Christians did not believe in this and there are many many Christians nowadays who have come to the same understanding and conclusions from sound scriptural and language study. You just don’t happen to be surrounded by them. But they do exist.

I’m going to include a link you may find helpful and I would ask that you use it as a jumping off point for some serious research into the entire hell theory. For your friends sake as well as your own you really do need to know WHAT it it that you wish he would believe. But more importantly, you need to know WHY you yourself believe it.

It is my hope that you may come to a different conclusion on the entire hell issue so that you can be at peace with whatever he decides to believe or not believe.

No one should have to believe out of fear of what would happen if they choose not to. True belief should not be coerced. True life sustaining faith is not produced by fear.
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http://www.tentmaker.org/articles/ifhellisreal.htm
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(FYI: The owner of this site as well as the writers of the articles are all Christian so you don’t have to be worried about being unduly influenced by non believers :)

Feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Here is the advice of an atheist.

Keep your beliefs and there attendant baggage to yourself!

And to answer the first sentence of your question: “What’s the best way to talk to someone about my beliefs?”

The answer is quite simple.

With mutual respect.

He respects you enough not to contradict or ridicule your beliefs. Accord him the same respect. Don’t try to shove your beliefs down his throat.

Believe me, if he wants to know more about what you believe, he’s perfectly capable of asking. Kindly wait until he asks.

And if you’re going to tell him about hell, you’d better be prepared to know what you’re talking about. Unfortunately it is currently part and parcel of the majority of Christisn theology nowadays regardless of denominational affiliation. If you choose to continue believing it you’d better be prepared to look him straight in the eye and defend why you think he deserves to roast in hell if he doesn’t share your beliefs.

If you can’t bring yourself to do that (and I sincerely hope its a problem for you) then perhaps its best for you to do more listening to him rather than talking at him.

That’s what I meant by mutual respect.

@Neodarwinian don’t start.

@Buttonstc…I don’t see where the OP even mentioned hell in her post.

Thank you @buttonstc! Especially for that last one!

I really do appreciate all of your well thought out responses.

I don’t want to cause a fight or end a friendship with them by any means. I was just looking for ways to talk to them about what I believe without coming on too hard or too “I’m right everything else makes you an awful person”. I’d rather not fall into that category that many of today’s Christians allow themselves to fall in to.

I’ve been pretty close to this person for quite a while, we just never talk about that stuff.

Thought this would be a good place to see if there was a way to and I guess more specifically how….

Once again I appreciate each of you all’s thoughts!

@Dutchess_III

Not specifically mentioned but fear and hell kind of go together, don’t you think?

I’m not the least bit afraid if any of my friends don’t share my beliefs or are questioning theirs.

The OP specifically stated being “afraid” for the friends questioning of belief.

The vast majority of Christians are told either directly or indirectly that they must witness of their faith to others lest they be consigned to hell. U fortunately its still part of the majority of Christian doctrine. Some groups emphasize it more than others.

Regardless., it still remains as a consistent undercurrent whether spoken or unspoken. It’s just there.

If the OP doesn’t believe in an eternal burning hell nobody would be happier about it than I.

Let your friend’s beliefs be his beliefs and your beliefs be your beliefs.

Yes, I guess being “afraid” would assume she’s afraid he’ll go to hell.

@yankeecandlee

Just wait until he asks. If he wants to know he will. If he doesn’t ask then don’t assume.

This is what I have done with any of my friends and acquaintances and we’ve had some really interesting discussions and I’ve learned a great deal which I never would have discovered if I was busy preaching at them.

(but it certainly helped a LOT to know that I could just listen to them and we could learn from each other without me having to worry about them roasting for eternity :)

Read this… The Rabbi and the Cab Driver.

Best article I’ve ever read related to this topic. Just because someone else doesn’t believe the way you do, doesn’t make them wrong. There are many “rights” in this world. Thinking that your own “right” is the only “right” that exists is a huge “wrong.”

If you change your view just a tiny bit and allow your friend to have his own “tree,” it will help both of you.

1 Corinthians 13:4–7 : Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

In general, I think it is a good idea for you and your friend to discuss your beliefs. The problem in this case is that it can cause problems telling someone they are going to hell. I am not sure how to advise you. You can say that you are a devout Christian and leave it at that.

I had an experience in middle school where a classmate told a group of us Jewish students at recess that we were all going to hell. He did not mean this in a vindictive sort of way. It was something that came out of the general conversation. He was in fact a very decent person. After that incident, I felt that he had created a gulf between us. I really wish he had not said what he had said.

Ok. Here’s my answer which is from a Christian pov @yankeecandlee, yes I can understand why you are afraid.

But I think the best way for you as a Christian to deal with that is to pray for your friend, a prayer to God so that your friend may be saved.

But honestly leave all of it up to God. God has a different plan for your friend and sometimes the road to salvation is long and curvy and filled with many bumps.

And sometimes we take a path all our own and we believe it is without the guidance of the lord but he tests our faith along the way.

Remember in the bible in the book of genesis when he did the same thing with Abraham?

Here are the first two parts:

22 And it came to pass after these things, that God did tempt Abraham, and said unto him, Abraham: and he said, Behold, here I am.

2 And he said, Take now thy son, thine only son Isaac, whom thou lovest, and get thee into the land of Moriah; and offer him there for a burnt offering upon one of the mountains which I will tell thee of.

Just remember it isn’t your place to take care of God’s children.

Just treat your friend with respect and kindness and no need to push anything. Just pray for your friend on your own time.

^^^T uck and R olllllll!!!! And then get up and run for your life.

Welcome to Fluther, sorry for the insensitive comments that was tossed your way. The problem you have in your relationship with your friend is his, not yours.

2 Corinthians 6:14,15
14 Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever?

Sometimes as much as you try, you cannot appeal to some people. He was raised in the faith, if he has a disposition not to get it, it is because he has not been seeking it.

Matthew 7:8
For everyone who asks receives, and he who seeks finds, and to him who knocks it will be opened.

If your friend was drawing closer to Christ, Christ would be drawing closer to him. I do not blame you for fearing for his salvation because if he goes the way he is going he may find that our Lord will say He do no know him in the Day of the Lord. But you have did your job.

EZEKIEL 3:18–19
18 When I say to the wicked, ‘You shall surely die,’ and you give him no warning, nor speak to warn the wicked from his wicked way, to save his life, that same wicked man shall die in his iniquity; but his blood I will require at your hand. 19 Yet, if you warn the wicked, and he does not turn from his wickedness, nor from his wicked way, he shall die in his iniquity; but you have delivered your soul.

All you can do now is to let him see the Glory of Christ through your life. If he is offended by Christ then you have to decide if that friendship is worth your salvation.

1 Corinthians 1:17–19
Christ the Power and Wisdom of God
18 For the message of the cross is foolishness to those who are perishing, but to us who are being saved it is the power of God.

If he wants to perish, there is nothing you can do to stop it, less pray our God opens his heart before it is to late.

Good grief Hypo.

Nothing like a little self righteous judgementalism to give the impression that all Christians are assholes~~

But sarcasm aside, I really do hope that one day you receive a revelation of the wideness of God’s mercy. It is certainly a whole lot more vast than you or any of us humans can possibly imagine.

@Hypocrisy_Central 2 Corinthians 3:7–18

7 But if the ministration of death, written and engraved in stones was glorious, so that the children of Israel could not steadfastly behold the face of Moses because of the glory of his countenance, which glory was to be done away with,

8 how shall not the ministration of the Spirit be more glorious?

9 For if the ministration of condemnation is glory, much more doth the ministration of righteousness exceed in glory!

10 For even that which was made glorious had no glory in this respect, by reason of the glory that excelleth.

11 For if that which is done away with was glorious, much more that which remaineth is glorious.

12 Seeing then that we have such hope, we use great plainness of speech—

13 and not as Moses, who put a veil over his face, so that the children of Israel could not steadfastly look to the end of that which was being abolished.

14 But their minds were blinded; for until this day the same veil remaineth untaken away in the reading of the old testament, which veil is done away with in Christ.

15 But even unto this day, when Moses is read, the veil is upon their hearts.

16 Nevertheless, when they shall turn to the Lord, the veil shall be taken away.

17 Now the Lord is that Spirit; and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is liberty.

18 But we all, with uncovered face beholding as in a glass the glory of the Lord, are changed into the same image, from glory to glory, even as by the Spirit of the Lord.

Sometimes reading proverbs daily helps you out. Because there is some good stuff there.

Let’s read this proverb for the day!

22 “How long, you simple ones, will you love simplicity? For scorners delight in their scorning, and fools hate knowledge.

23 Turn at my rebuke;Surely I will pour out my spirit on you; I will make my words known to you.

24 Because I have called and you refused, I have stretched out my hand and no one regarded,

25 Because you disdained all my counsel, and would have none of my rebuke,

26 I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when your terror comes,

27 When your terror comes like a storm, and your destruction comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you.

28 “Then they will call on me, but I will not answer;They will seek me diligently, but they will not find me.

29 Because they hated knowledge and did not choose the fear of the Lord,

30 They would have none of my counsel and despised my every rebuke.

31 Therefore they shall eat the fruit of their own way,And be filled to the full with their own fancies.

32 For the turning away of the simple will slay them, And the complacency of fools will destroy them;

”...we don’t share the same spiritual beliefs and it’s really starting to…bother me…”

That’s the problem with Christians.
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It never bothered Christ whether someone was a Christian or not. In fact, Christ spent a lot of time rebuking religious zealots. Christian intolerance is intolerable. Especially when they think they can lead someone to the Lord. That’s not your job. Only the Holy Spirit can lead someone to the Lord. Stand in the way of that, and your X will run away like a rat from a sinking ship.

(They didn’t have “Christians” when Jesus walked the earth. It didn’t bug Jesus whether they were Jewish or not. He only cared about their attitudes and behaviors.)

[mod says] Please remember: This question is in the General Section. Responses must be helpful and on-topic.

Let’s stick to answering the question, folks.