Can you help me come up with some lines for a candy bar letter?

They can be funny, off color, inappropriate, even kind. If you don’t know what a candy bar letter is, it’s a card or letter using poster board with pieces of candy or candy bars for some of the words.

Here are some examples: http://blog.bitsofeverything.com/2012/06/candy-bar-letter-tips.html

I think the people here can do at least as good if not better. Actually, I’m counting on better. (It’s for hubby’s birthday.)