If you had a super power would you fight crime?

I would tell a doctor and go on disability, like I did when the doctor didn’t believe that I was transporting thru time and I got a community treatment order (forced medication).

Can my super power be the ability to psychically dick-punch cops that use their authority for douchey advantages, like putting up lights and sirens just to get through a red light, like no one else in the world is stuck in traffic?

@Seek_Kolinahr Yes yes you may, but only if your powers require you to awkwardly stare at their junk first.

pant covered junk, I’m only being slightly pervy, just think it would be funny if that was the requirement. Plus you wouldn’t have to worry about them wrecking their car if they had to be standing for your powers to work

I’d like the power to disintegrate cell phones when I see their owners making offenses with them. Like the swerving driver who is using their cell phone or the cell phone chatting mother at the park who is ignoring her toddler.

Yes I would if my super power is to be able to sense douche bags and make them punch themselves in the face though mental telepathy. Once my power has touched them they can not go anywhere or hurt anyone without them ending up by punching themselves in the face.

I find that to be to restrictive a limitation. Cops rarely leave the safety of their dickmobiles around here.

@Seek_Kolinahr okay restriction removed, but instead you have to wriggle your nose like in bewitched every time you want to “dick-punch a cop psychically”

I’ve only been practicing that since I was five. Done.

omg. I love your answer @Pandora. I want that super power.

Of course. I would become a cop work for some years on the force, using my super powers in discreet ways and then later on I would open my own detective agency, like Superforce or Angel

No. I want the ability to perish those who dare to curl in my favorite squat rack

Oooooh, sure! Can I have the ability to mind control pedophiles and rapists into believing that they are slugs, so they all start acting weird and end up heavily medicated in the psych ward? If I could do that, I wouldn’t have to kill them, teehee!

It would depend on the super power. For example, X-ray vision would be terrific to have, but wouldn’t be a terrific advantage against all evil.

I would like hyperactive senses like the Sentinel

My power would be thwarting any NSA agent illegally spying on non suspect American citizens. They would lose their bowels while laughing uncontrollably.

Shit and laugh… laugh and shit… shit some more and laugh about it. Laugh some more and shit yourself again. They would laugh themselves to death in a shitty mess.

I do have a super power.

I use it to fight stupidity and unreason, which (stealing and paraphrasing from James Thurber here) in the only species to have developed reason, and which often has the most unreasonable members of any species, definitely seems to be a sort of crime against nature.

I would use it to fight crime once. Then crime would be over because only an idiot would attempt crime again after seeing what happened.

@CWOTUS What a terrific answer. It’s one most of us can exercise.

@bunnyslippers It would be great to be able to sense when some con man or scamming company is getting ready to take advantage of some pensioner, and to be able to zap there before they can spring their evil trap, and open the pensioner’s eyes to their deceit. I wouldn’t have time to make a living building web sites if I was doing that, so I’d need to be able to con the con men into transferring what they have already slaked away to me. Oh, what a life that would be.

Yes. Children shouldn’t be born into abuse.

I would like to have the power to speak to the dead. With it I can solve many murder cases

The world will look up and shout ‘save us.’ And I’ll whisper ‘no.’

^^No, the world will point & laugh at the pathetic fat man dressed in lederhosen with zero powers.
I’d like to be Syndrome from The Incredibles, only more successful.
Fuck saving the world & shit, bow to your leader shitkickers…“kneel before Zod!”

Personally, I’m sick of fictional superheroes. I’m in awe of all the real heroes we have teaching our kids, nursing the ill, fighting overseas, protecting our national security—well, I reckon you get my drift.

No, too childish. I would use my super powers to wage war on terror.

It depends what the power was. Even if I was say impervious to most damage and super strong I don’t think I’d go out of my way to fight crime but if I saw something happen I’d intervene.

what national security?

@jonsblond I would first use my powers against Politicians all around the world. Can you imagine congress punching themselves repeatedly during a douche vote. All the douches won’t be able to run without having to punch themselves in the face. Eventually the guy with the less face punching ability will be the candidate to survive. I would really, really enjoy using it on lobbyist the most. and the Walmart family.