Am I overreacting to my boyfriend's sensitiveness at work?

It sounds to me like your spidy sense is tingling. There is much to be said for that uneasy feeling that tells you something isn’t right. My advice would be to proceed cautiously.
I don’t know why it would be awkward unless he knows that the girl likes him.
Only you can decide if this is a deal breaker for you.
Why is your relationship secret at all?
Have you set a date that it will become public?
I don’t think I could be in a relationship I felt I had to hide but to each his own I guess.

Does your job allow people to date who are on the same team? Most places of employment I have worked at employees in relationships could not work in the same group/department. I guess you would have mentioned that in your question as an explanation for not telling at work if that were the case.

If it is starting to bother you I think discuss with your boyfriend that you want people at work to know, that you are starting to feel uncomfortable keeping the secret. What is his explanation for not wanting to tell? If he cannot answer the question directly he is lying. Men rarely prepare for questioning and are bad liars. If you ask a question and he answers a different question than what you asked, he is likely lying.

Some people get a kick out of keeping a secret like this, to me it just feels like lying, I don’t enjoy it at all. I can keep a secret very well, but when the secret isn’t necessary or is something that is behind the backs of others it feels bad. It isn’t the same as keeping a secret of a very personal matter. You may have had a very practical reason for not telling people at work, but six months is getting on to be a long time to hide a relationship I would think.

Should I trust him when he said—I don’t want to tell her yet?

Ask him why.

I agree with @JLeslie ask him why. It could mean work issues, it could be other issues. You won’t know neither will we, until you know the ‘why’ of what he is doing. (6 months is a fair amount of time to know whether he is sure of dating you or not, why the secrecy?).

There are a number of reasons for why he is acting the way he is, the only one who can really tell you is he. So, I too agee with @JLeslie.

Ask him what would happen if you told her that the two of you are a couple. And, what would be the consequence at work if they find out you are dating? You both need to talk that out.

(This is one of the reasons dating at work is fraught with peril.)

For me (and this is just me), I would feel better if I knew more about the girl. If the girl is in a relationship, it would probably bother me less. I would definitely talk about the whole “should we tell, and if not, why not” thing with your boyfriend, if I were you. If it’s based on a rule at work, then I could see it. If it’s just something you and he decided on previously, then at what point do you decide it’s ok to make it public? And if so, six months should be long enough. Maybe he does have a crush on the girl. If it were me (again, just me, a bit devious) I would flirt with him in front of her, to bust his chops. He should not have a problem with it if he does not like her.

It’s a real dilemma, I agree.

Leave it alone. Leave him alone. You will lose him if you continue with this behavior.

Well, he can be thinking ‘if we’re not telling anyone at work, why should I tell this girl?’

He said it was because its awkward that he has to work with her. Company does have a rule where same dept shouldnt date, but she doesnt strike me as someone who would call and HR on us. She is engaged, but she sure doesnt act like she is one. There are a couple of people who knew about us, that’s it.

He said he doesn’t want her to know yet—I don’t know the yet part.

With these info, can someone tell me if I still should have the talk with him?

@fwbme Yeah, I don’t really get the ‘yet’ part either.

I truly love you guys – thanks a whole bunch for extending your advice and point of views.

I’ll try to update as much details as possible as I dig.

He may be being sensitive that she likes him a lot and hasn’t discussed the situation with you to spare her feelings. Back off. If you can’t trust him, break it off. To really “have” someone, you have to let them be free.

I was with a guy for years, but I had a work flirtation. That flirtation never crossed any boundaries but after I broke up with my guy, I immediately called my ‘work’ friend. Sometimes when the two worlds (real life, work life) connect, it is awkward, but it can also really clarify things.

So if I were you, I’d either leave it completely alone and trust my man, OR make sure she knows he’s yours. Stop by and flirt with him (that’s not against company rules is it, since she’s doing it), drop him off a book, lunch, a card, something, and maybe if she is around, catch her eye and wink, say “surprising my man’.

If she’s engaged, I would be more comfortable with the situation, if I were you. It would give me some security that hopefully, she is busy with her own thing and whatever goes on at work is just harmless.

This is the key for me: ”Company does have a rule where same dept shouldnt date, but she doesnt strike me as someone who would call and HR on us.”

If you want something to remain a secret, which makes sense in this case since you are flouting company policy, tell no one.