Will college get any better?

It will if you let it.

You can wake up every day thinking, “Ugh. Shit. I have to go to class again,” and it will be hell for as long as you put up with it and graduate, or quit, whichever comes first. Or you can decide that you want to learn – and participate – and join the entire give-and-take that involves. Just because you don’t like the “participation” aspect now doesn’t mean that it has to remain that way. You just have to get involved enough in the subject, and conversant with the issues involved, so that “participation” isn’t a bugaboo.

Oh its going to be hard to come out of my hermit shell. Life has revolved around husband and kids for years. Lost the social aspect in my life. I’m not dropping out. I just need to get over my social anxiety! Yes, I need to quit being negative! @CWOTUS

I would take the participation thing with a grain of salt. I hated getting called on and managed to get by. I guess it would sort of depend on what you study. Generally I was able to just be left alone. I was also a older student. I had no interest in any social bullshit. I wanted to go to class and go home.

It really doesn’t have to be a continuation of high-school.

I would give it a few weeks before getting worried.

@johnpowell. Yes I feel exactly like you. I’m going in to computer programming but I have to get these freshman classes out of the way. Teenage drama everywhere! I actually have to blog in my English class regularly. It’s an assignment!

I went back to college at 24, as a junior, after four years away, and already I felt at least a generation older than the youngsters in the room around me, who had never been out on their own or supported themselves. It’s not an unbridgeable gap, but you do have to expect to find your common ground differently from the way you did when you and your classmates were all in the same age group. Don’t expect too much in the way of a social life with classmates.

The first couple of classes of the term are usually about orientation and ground rules and such—overview of the course, basis of grading, etc. This is partly just because the composition of the class takes a week or two to settle down while students are still dropping and adding. Don’t let the administrative stuff turn you off your coursework. It’ll get better. Do your assignments, dig into your studies, and enjoy the excitement of the learning process.

When I retired from full-time work, I started attending classes at a junior college just for fun. I was two generations older than the students (but I wasn’t the oldest student!). One of the instructors was born the year I got married. Nevertheless I managed to establish friendly contacts with several fellow students, and we got along just fine. They were very accepting of me, and I didn’t expect them to be more mature than the average 19-year-old.

Take a deep breath. It is just the first day. Why are you in school? Do you need a degree for the kind of work that you want to do? If so, remember your goals.

Don’t focus on the social aspects. Focus on the class work.

” and they say in every class “participation is 20% of your grade” ”

Obviously you are not taking chemistry 101A!

Antisocial? Don’t take mickey mouse courses that depend on BS being graded. Course that mean something do not cater to socializing but depend on the work you put into them.

As you said, this is your first day and it is way to soon to panic. Wait until drop with a W day to do that!

I hated it and quit and I have regretted it ever since, but the thought of going back makes my stomach clench. Ugh..

Of course the first day sucked, and of course it’ll get better. You’ll develop your routine and it’ll all be alright. As for participation, I have trouble with this as well. I’ve managed to maintain a 4.0 GPA without trying really hard at participating in class. If you have something to say, raise your hand. If you know an answer to a question, say it. You’ll be fine.

I agree with johnpowell, and while these were technical schools that I’d attended and not typical colleges, the social aspect was still there. Most of the students were in their teens and early twenties, and I was an introverted 30 year old. I know too little about the school or the requirements of the courses you’re taking up to write too much more though.

@Emmy1234 :: I also took a lot of computer programming/math/econ classes. Those are your safe areas. The first two years you will have to take the “well-rounded student” crap like history and philosophy where they want you to talk.

But you will be fine. It will be over soon. But seriously, stay away from philosophy. It is like 80% students talking. I learned that the hard way and got a solid C in my year of taking it.

Relax, it definitely can get better. Participation is not just talking all the time. You can always let the professor know that you’re participating and they will know you are, if you are.

Since you are mature, is it possible to take online classes? Or maybe online for most of them? When I was in college, I had to take some sort of Phys Ed class too. If it’s still required, you ought to love that one. LOL I hope it isn’t for your sake.

Like @Jeruba I went back to college at 24 & it was a very different experience from when I attended first, straight out of school. Second time round, I felt quite uncomfortable at first. It will get better. You’ll get comfortable over time. The first year was a real adjustment period for me. Try to get to know people outside of your group as the social aspect of college is important too. That’ll all come with time. In the meantime, relax and ease yourself in gently.

Yes, I have to take PE next semester. It’s first aid and I’m a nurse so it shouldn’t be too bad. I think there is online but my advisor doesn’t seem very helpful or information giving! @snowberry

I started college at 18 and did not leave fully until this year….I’m 36. I worked full-time through it all both in crappy jobs and in professional work. I have several expensive papers framed and only use one of them. Only reason I left was that I’m too busy at work to take any classes right now. In grad school if you take a semester or two off you may not get to go back so I may take some “fun” classes like welding or finish a half done undergrad degree….. Even starting at thirty it’s probably worthwhile. My father did this at thirty and to this day he’ll tell you he hated it too but had zero regrets doing it.

Thanks everyone! I’m not alone in my feelings by any means. Your comments make me feel better!

I dreaded PE too. Luckily “walking” was offered as PE credit. We didn’t even have to change clothes or shower.

Not joking

Yes, it should be PE credit on my campus because its all on a hillside! I got my cardio in today : )

I had terrible classes and amazing classes, it seemed like the difference usually boiled down to having that one or more person/persons I could talk to.

I’m not saying being social will fix everything, but I had some boring classes that I looked forward to just because I’d get to see so and such. Sometimes just knowing that someone else shares your feelings on a subject changes everything, and in case the age difference etc. bugs you, I had several friends more than ten years my senior.

Everyone there should be an adult, treat them that way and you’ll be surprised at the relationships that can develop. Study groups and approaching anyone you happen to have multiple classes with are both good ways to start.

with that said, I’m a social butterfly at heart, so this advice may be bogus for you

If you’re in nursing, you had better get used to interacting with people. It’s part of a nurse’s job, it’s all day long, and it can be quite stressful. Clinical Training (part of your education) is all about interacting with people, and it’s INTENSE.

@Emmy1234 Why are you in college? I’m not trying to be snarky or critical, serious question.
I dropped out of college when I realized that I was uninterested in my classes and need to get my bearings in life. A few years later I went back with a solid interest in my field and some work experience behind me and I did much better.
All those irritating aspects of college can fall away if you’ve got a good interest in your field.

If you think your doomed and are going to hate it then it will happen because you believe it to be the case. If you open your mind and yourself to the new experience of school then you my end up loving it like me. I do have a suggestion try taking online courses I know they are offered at alot colleges that offer continuing education. I find it easier to par-take in the discussions and actually participate more than I would have if I were in the classroom discussions since you don’t have all eyes on you when putting in your thoughts. I was also able to make friends with people in a prior online class that was in a class took on campus the following semester. It takes some of the fear of the unknown people off of you.

I am 43 and just went back to school to finish my degree last year and absolutely love the learning and the people I am meeting. I am finding that alot of older people are returning to do the same as myself and it makes it nice to meet new people in my same situation.

I think it will get better. No problem venting here of course, but as you said, it’s just the first day. Many professors lay out ground rules and try to set up some sort of strictness on the first day, becuase so many 18 year olds can be so inconsiderate and unfocused. We have had Q’s here where professors are asking for advice to get their students under control. So, don’t let the first day of a class make you nervous or full of dread.

I am currently a nurse (lpn) and have done this for 10 years. It was a 1 year intense tech school program. I think nursing has made me more introverted. I am a caring person and loved helping people that can’t help themselves. Some people can be down right mean. I just can’t deal with it anymore. If I had had the option at the time I would’ve chose something different. Now that opportunity has come about. My studies now are for computer programming. I hope I didn’t rush in to it but I’m so desperate for something different and the time frame is limited! @snowberry and @dabbler

You just finished day one. Give it at least a week until you give up on it. The late drop dates are there for a reason.

Even if you stay inside a shell and don’t participate in class, the worst that you’ll be doing, it seems, is failing to get the highest grades that you might otherwise attain. I can’t imagine that you’re really grade-conscious at this point, are you? Just take the course, do the course work, and see what happens. You might even surprise yourself with the insights that you’ll have on “applicability” of the things you’re exposed to, for one thing, that kids in the class wouldn’t even dream of yet.

You can enjoy this.

Firstly, I give you credit for having the gumption to go back to school. Don’t worry about the social aspects. The first year may be a little rough, but after that everything should be fine. I am a computer programmer and I can tell you that we are not the most sociable people. I think the profession attracts introverts. If you ever have any programming questions, there are a slew of us here who can help.

Congrats on having the guts to go back and try this. I went from a small rural town of 2500 people to a university with 25,000 students. I thought What the hell am I doing here? I dug down, and took it on. I ended up having the best four years of my life. I got to experience so much and it really opened up my mind to what a diverse world we have. But it takes some time to get used to it. Give it some more time before you decide if it’s right for you.