How can I make what I have left work?

@LornaLove ((((hugs)))) I am so sorry sweetie! My gut was knotting up reading this.
I think you’re right to be suspicious of his early morning activities. I’m seeing some big red flags.
I would apply for the benefits that your psychiatrist suggested right away. Tomorrow if possible. Maybe if they knew your situation they could speed the process along? Are there any other assistance programs available to you that would help to get you by in the meantime? Are you able to work at all?

I’m kind of at a loss here….. I’m sorry that I don’t have something useful to say.

@LornaLove First, same as @Katniss I am so sorry to hear the mess you have to deal with, and at a time when dealing with messes is particularly difficult. I too send ((((hugs)))). My daughter became severely bipolar in her late teens after she had moved out and was on her own, to the point that in her manic phases she believed space people were communicating with her. They ordered her to set her hotel room on fire, strip naked, and walk down the middle of the main street in her town. At least that got the police involved and they let me know what was going on. For her, lithium stabilized her marvelously.

It sounds as if your bipolar is at least managed enough that you can discern the difference between reality (as most of us agree it is) and delusions. That is good, and it should get better from there as treatment progresses.

It sounds like your boyfriend has some serious mental issues of his own, but that he is either unaware of them or unwilling to confront them. While you should be able to understand how another person might have mental issues too, you aren’t in a good position to help them through theirs when you are mired down in your own. You might talk with his parents about holding an intervention with him. If they are open to doing so, they would be well advised to reach out to Mental Health Services there, sit down with a counselor and explain what’s going on, and have that person there to facilitate.

But do not put all your eggs in the one fragile-sounding basket of your boyfriend and his family. Find out what services are available for someone in your position and make enough noise that you get them rather than just being shuffled to the end of some interminable waiting list.

I am so sorry that things have turned out this way for you. Take a deep breath.

Call your psychiatrist and ask for his or her help getting benefits.

Drop this man immediately. You could ask him if he has any money to pay you back first.

Oh my goodness, I’m sorry you’re in this predicament! Is there some kind of central agency in the UK for housing/food/medical benefits? If so, I’d start with a call to them. Explain your whole situation and see what help they can offer you, even if it’s only temporary shelter. And, as @marinelife says, get in touch with your psychiatrist, too. Taking one step toward securing your safety and well-being will help you feel better in the short-term, and get the ball rolling for the future there.

In the meantime, we are all pulling for you! {hugs}

@LornaLove Would you promise not to do anything to you right off? You need hugs, support and time while you figure things out.

Good vibes headed your way kiddo… The universe conspires in your favor. Realize that you do have control, foundation and put yourself in the place you need to be. Seize the good moments and make things happen. Hang on when things are bad and try not to loose focus. You need someone without their own issues who can help you heal and find balance. Seek medical help/ assistance when and where it is available. Find a network of support from others who understand because it’s hard to do this alone.

You are in such a difficult position and things don’t look very bright now. But from your writing it is clear you are caring, intelligent, adventuresome, spirited and brave. Yep. Brave! You made a move to follow your heart. So few people have the guts to do that. You did it!
OK. Life threw you a curve, but with the qualifications you have I am confident you will handle it well when the fog clears. As Douglas Adam’s once said, “Don’t panic.” It Will work out.
Hugs.

Here is a link that will find a local branch of The Samaritans for you.

It seems to be the place to turn in a crisis, such as you are describing.

http://www.samaritans.org/branches

CALL US
08457 90 90 90 * (UK)

If there’s something troubling you, then get in touch.

We’re here 24 hours a day, 365 days a year.
jo@samaritans.org

Why do benefits take so long? Fill up the forms for council housing right away! Even a bedsit! I feel so bad for you I thought he lived with you! Maybe it’s good that he doesn’t! And if welfare there is anything like here, and I thought it was, they pay you pretty quickly? Oh I feel for you, let us know how you go. Hugs

It appears to me to be a chronic lack of honest communication here. It’s ok to express how you feel and ask a lot of questions but at the end of the day you need to do what’s best for you.

How severe is your bipolar disorder? Are you taking medication? Is there any chance that you could get a job to help with expenses? I understand that you are mentally ill, but your writing ability indicates a degree of intelligence and your story shows you have grit and determination. I think you are going to come out of this stronger than before. Keep us posted. We are all pulling for you.

Is there any other part of the UK where you might have more support and connections? This situation seems pretty untenable for you.

I live in the UK so if there is anything I can specifically do or advise on, please PM me if you want to. Your local Mind office will be able to help you and give you information and signposting on where to get help, benefits etc. This link will help you find your Local Mind office..they are a charity that support people with ALL types of mental health issues. Please contact them they are great.

That said, I agree that you obviously have been very brave and have a lot of courage and intelligence. Don’t give up, things will get better, you just need some support. Talking things through calmly with the people involved often helps and things turn out not as bad as you might have once thought. But I would try and find out what your options are first. Where in the UK are you? (PM me if you don’t want this info public) xx Love and hugs and sparkly dust x

He is not incapable of being in a relationship as he has been in one for the last 10 years and he strikes me as being someone intensely loyal to the relationships he has. That is quite precious even if the relationship is unorthodox.

PS. You probably know about this

@flutherother But it was an online relationship for those ten years which is quite different.

@janbb Perhaps.