Do I really have to have the talk with my children, or is school doing that for me?

It is never too soon.

No, you’ve got time. Just remember what you thought of girls back then. I liked them so much but they scared me because they were so different and they had things I didn’t but wanted to explore those things so much.:)

And you should teach them you’re values, if that’s what you want. Not someone else’s

When my kids were as young as 10, they had girls all around them that dressed and acted like ‘ho’s.

Maybe they were not really ‘ho’s but this is what they presented to my sons.

I had no choice but to get involved ASAP, or they would have been totally in their own.

Stop waiting and talk to them. Health class can’t tell them what you need to tell them.

Off topic… I didn’t know @josie had kids.

@chyna
Two. Boys

Talk to them. Don’t let them be surprised when they find out from someone else.

Don’t count on the school system to do anything for you! It’s always better coming from you than someone you may not even know!

Yes, you do. You can start by finding out what they learned in health class. You don’t just teach them the mechanics, but you pass on your viewpoint of what is right and wrong. If you can talk to them openly and freely, they’ll come to YOU with their questions. Unless you’d rather they ask their grandfather.

They are going to learn a lot from school, and from friends. Much will be bad information, or misunderstood. Talk to them simply, and make sure to clear up all those things they are unsure of. Yes, it is uncomfortable to do this, but it is better than them spending the next 5 years with unrealistic ideas.

I think they should warn parents by notifying them first. To me, it is a big step to teach them this kind of stuff.. Mind you as others said here, their mates probably have already.

I was too much of a chicken. I bought a couple of age appropriate books and left them laying around. That’s all they needed, along with the answer to a question now and then.

It is not “the talk.” It is an ongoing dialog, starting whenever the subject arises. The more short, informative, age-appropriate and casual conversations you have with your boys, the easier and less fraught they (convos and not boys) become. Nothing magical will occur on their 11th birthday.

Sex Ed in schools can’t be trusted, too many religious nuts screwing it up. Best to make sure your kids have the best information possible. It’s been shown to prevent a lot of crap later.

I’ve been informing my son since age 5. It’s always the right time to know the functions of one’s own body.

Should you trust the public school system to do your job and teach kids what they need to know about sex? Hm…no.

And at his age, my guess is that he already knows what that “thing he pees from” does, and I doubt he learned about it in health class. If you ask me, 11 is a bit late for such a discussion.

The school is not. The other kids in the class however are.

So, who do you want to impart what kind of knowledge on your kids?

Public school health class varies, but mine was like this:

10: How Stuff Works, puberty

12: more of the same, plus basic prophylactics

15: creepy horrorshow pictures of STDs

There’s massive room for misinformation in that picture. The school teaches the basic minimums and the kids make up the rest.

There are so many things that my friends and I learned the hard way, which might have been averted if some trustworthy older person had talked to us. The most important thing missing from school sex ed is values. You should talk to your kids about your values.

My health teachers speech:

Ok, Um, So, basically you probably know most of what I am supposed to tell you about sex and if you don’t you will learn it in the next three years so why don’t we go onto this bit about communicable diseases?

I’m with @gailcalled. It shouldn’t be a one-time conversation, but an ongoing one. Whenever a ‘teachable moment’ arises, it’s a good time to talk. Use the health class as a springboard and get talking!

Maybe you and your spawn can sit in on a lecture in your local university about the cellular processes during sexual reproduction.
http://www.bio.davidson.edu/Courses/Molbio/MolStudents/spring2005/Champaloux/fertilization.jpg

No matter how much information they get from others, they need to know they can trust that you are willing and able to talk to them about anything.

So, your kid made it to ten without ever asking you where babies come from, or anything related to sex? I find that surprising, but I don’t have kids, I am only going by my own childhood. Do you feel comfortable that your child is going to come to you with sex questions? That’s what I would be most concerned with, that they feel I am approachable for any topic. I have a lot of friends who say, “I never would/could talk to my parents about sex.” I also would want a dialogue ongoing with my boys especially, on having respect for girls, which is related to the topic of sex.

If you feel very uneasy about “the talk” but you question whether school health class is enough, find out what they teach. If they covered everything you think is important then at least you know he has learned the basics. At his age health class is probably where hair will grow during puberty, wet dreams, and very basic information about how babies are made.

Read Dan Savage’s advice for teenage boys. Very relevant- I know they are not teens but…

When you say “HAVE to have the talk…” it sounds like you’re reluctant to to do it. Why would you be reluctant? The younger they are, the less giggly and more matter of fact they’ll be about it.

Depends on if you want them to know the truth or the school’s version of the truth.

Expect them to pretend to know more than they actually do. They will probably be listening keenly while pretending boredom.

And it’s not just about “what the thing they pee from does” – it’s about making it clear that girls and women are people, just like they are, and that this should guide their choices.

Why do some parents have such a hard time discussing simple biology with their kids?

@Dutchess_III I was always taught to be ashamed of my bodily functions. It was only since the so-call sexual revolution of the 1960’s that it became OK to discuss simple biology.

I know! I was there, but my Mom was a farm girl. She never, ever had a problem telling me straight up what was what, which I know now was unusual for the era. At one point, when I was about 8, for some reason I asked her about it…where babies came from. She told me, I didn’t believe her! LOL!

Thing is, this question is a bit unusual coming from a parent of THIS era…isn’t it?