Should I delete this photo from Facebook?

I agree with your mother in law. I also think that she doesn’t really care about the photo being on Facebook, like you said, it’s private so it shouldn’t be a concern. I think she is using it as a excuse to keep in touch with you, therefore she still has a connection with Josh’s brother.

No, it’s your fb not hers. :)

@Headhurts I don’t think that’s it. Josh’s other siblings have more contact with his brother than we do. And they still see each other because of the kid. But maybe she wants sympathy? I mean, she can easily untag herself from the photo so it doesn’t show up on her page. If she did that, she’d never have to see it again. She could delete me on Facebook for all I care, so she’s not tempted to look at it. I was never very close to her anyway. I just think she’s being a stereotypical girl about the breakup.

Since her reason was that it makes her sad to see them, and not some larger issue of privacy, why not hide the photos from her rather than removing them? When you click “edit” an album on Facebook it shows you the Privacy toggle. The main options are “Public”, “Friends”, “Only Me”, and “Custom”. It might be a pain to use Custom to add everyone but her (why don’t they have the opposite available?) but it’s at least a viable option.

I don’t think that you should feel pressured to remove them. If you decide not to limit her access to your photos, then at most I would send her a response saying that while you understand the recent break may be upsetting, that you wish to preserve the full memory of your wedding—including the presence of her and her son.

If keeping the photos up is more important than your friendship then leave them up.

@Rarebear Who said we ever had a friendship? We don’t and never have. She was just my brother-in-law’s girlfriend.

Leave the photo up. If she can’t handle it, she doesn’t have to view it. They are your wonderful memories, you have every right to have them there.

I’m with @Rarebear. Of course it depends on whether you like this person. If someone I cared about asked me to take those photos down and the situation was as you described, I would take them down. If she’s ‘just your brother’s in law’s girlfriend’ and you don’t care, then well..she’ll know it soon enough.

@Simone_De_Beauvoir Like I said to @Rarebear, we aren’t friends.

@livelaughlove21 If I didn’t have a friendship with the person, then I would probably either leave the photos up or simply delete them. I’m not big on keeping Facebook friends with people I don’t like. Unless your worried that this would upset your brother, then it doesn’t seem like the latter suggestion would be an issue.

@muppetish It’s not that I don’t like her. I really don’t have an opinion about her either way. She added me when they were together and I accepted. I think deleting her would be pretty immature at this point. If we disliked each other, that would be different. And if she gives me lip about not deleting the photo, I’ll let her know she’s free to delete me.

I would take them down. Everyone who has wanted to see the pictures has seen them. I doubt anyone is flocking to your page specifically to go look at pictures of your wedding. If they do, and they comment, you can send the additional pictures via PM.

@Dutchess_III I’m going to need an actual reason as to why. I’m not one for doing something simply to appease someone else.

I’m not under the impression everyone looks at my wedding pictures on a regular basis. All the more reason as to why the picture staying up isn’t a big deal.

Well, because she said it made her sad.

I think if you have enough other pictures of your wedding, that taking them off the site would be a nice thing to do. If you can make someone a bit happier, or at least less unhappy, why not do that?

If my husband and I were to get a divorce, I wouldn’t go around to all of his family members asking them to remove pictures of us. If they make me sad, there are ways to avoid them without asking someone else to delete photos from their personal Facebook page.

I’m open to arguments as to why I should delete them, but making her less sad isn’t one I’m going to consider. It’s not her photo, it’s mine.

If someone asked me to remove a photo I have that includes their child, I would. I wouldn’t need a reason. (that’s the protective mother in me that is speaking. I would hope the favor would be returned if I ever asked someone to remove their picture of my child.)

Send her a DVD of this movie.

[Mod says] This question is posted in general. Please remember to stay on topic folks!

Okay, she’s not your friend, fine. If you don’t give a crap that you’re making another human being unhappy, then keep the pictures up. However, if you posted pictures of my kid without my explicit permission, you’d be hearing from my lawyer.

@Rarebear Once again, if she was asking for privacy reasons, I’d delete it without question. She came to the wedding and encouraged her son to pose for pictures she knew very well would be on Facebook eventually. She had no problem with them being online for the year they’ve been up and even tagged herself in all the pictures featuring her kid. She wants them down because she’s upset that she got dumped. If it makes me narcissistic that I don’t live to make everyone else happy, then so be it.

If the 20-year-old high school drop-out living with her parents in a trailer can afford to pay a lawyer because she feels sad seeing a photo, I’d love to hear from him.

@livelaughlove21 And once again, you’re posting a picture of her child when she explicitly asked you to take it down. It really doesn’t matter why.

So if you made up your mind, why did you ask the question, and why are you being so argumentative? Did you really expect everybody to agree with you?

Fair enough. So leave it up.

Do you share all your pictures with everyone? I only share all my photos with family. Friends are lumped together and only get those photos I’m ok with the general public having. Personal pictures, especially with kids is only shared with family.
So just switch your share photos and add her to the friend list.
Yeah, you can tell her to simply not look at it, but she can block the photo on her end and that will be that, unless she goes through all your photos all the time on your timeline.

@livelaughlove21 Your Facebook, your rules. If you don’t want to remove it, then don’t. Why should you? It was YOUR wedding and they’re YOUR memories. Nobody is forcing this girl to look at your photo album.
Obviously she’s a glutton for punishment. Screw her.

I’m not going to negatively characterize you because of your desire and intent to leave a photo (or series of them) that someone claims are “causing her pain”, and while I think you’re right that “she doesn’t have to look at them!”, obviously, she is.

And you may be right that she’s trying to get attention, or to stay connected to her former boyfriend through you in some tenuous way. So why not indulge her a little? Offer to take her to lunch and “just talk about this”. Because the other side of this coin is, whether she can afford to mount a legal challenge against your continued public placement of the photo/s or not, she does actually have the law on her side if the child is a minor. And I think you know that she’s “right” in her demand, even though it would be inconvenient for you to accede to her request.

So take her to lunch. Pay some attention to her and “request” (ask nicely) that she drop her demand.

I agree with @Katniss
This is not about the child, it is about this persons emotional state and IMO, it is childish and over reactive on their part. Right…if you don’t want to look at the picture, well then, just don;t look!
Your wedding photos are not subject to others censorship.
I would say ” I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time but I really love that photo and I hope you will not be upset if I choose to keep it posted.”

This is the sort of thing that made me delete my FB acct. in 2011. Dramarama. Sheesh, the stuff people get all neurotic about. Pffft!

I agree with @Coloma and @Katniss. Did she take pictures at your wedding, and put them on Facebook? I would ask her to take them down seen as though you are no longer connected. Exactly, silly isn’t it?

@katniss because she’s posting a picture of a minor against the wishes of the parent.

If anything all I would do is block her or unfriend her, or do both. I’d leave the photos be.

You paid for them @livelaughlove21. There your to do as you wish. Whatever she wants done can easily be handled on her end with her FB options. She can easily hide the photos from her view.

Leave it up. She doesn’t have to look. It’s your FB, not hers. She’s being ridiculous. And yeah if you break up with your SO you don’t go around asking everyone to remove photos just because you’re hurt.

She must think the world revolves around her.

Better idea: wait a month. If they aren’t back together, delete her and then she can’t complain about seeing the photo.

@Rarebear If the minor wasn’t in the picture, would you care?

@seekingwolf. I don’t care now. I’m just answering the original question.

@Rarebear That doesn’t matter. The pic has been up for a year, the child is part of her brother in laws life.
The chick that wants it removed is just being an asshole. Straight up.

@Rarebear @Katniss If he’s 20, that’s not a minor.

@KNOWITALL It is the brother in law who is 20.

Is it odder to invite someone to lunch whom you don’t know all that well and don’t have a personal relationship with… than it is to ask a bunch of people on the Internet that you don’t know at all about how to handle that relationship?

Ugh! Edit wouldn’t allow me to fix the autocorrect mess that is my first response.

She allowed her minor child’s photo to be up for a year and allowed her child to be in the photos in the first place…that’s parental consent. Now her relationship has ended and her feelings about said photos have changed.

She could possibly report the photos to FB. If you’d like to giver her any options at all you could simply make the photos only viewable by your FB friends, and not have them set as “public” (if they even are set as ‘public’).

@CWOTUS I’m not inviting you all to lunch, am I? And I speak to all of you a hell of a lot more than I’ve spoken to her. And I’m not asking anyone would I should do about my non-existent relationship with her; I’m asking if I should delete the photo or not.

That part of the family and everyone they know are very different from anyone you probably know. They aren’t the “hey, let’s go to lunch” type. It would be hard to explain why, but that’s just how it is.

@SpatzieLover They already are set to “friends only.”

Then my opinion stands @livelaughlove21. If you feel the need to respond to her in any way you could state that the photos are not available to the masses.

@livelaughlove21 Go into the privacy for that particular pic. You can restrict it from certain people. Restrict it from her. Then message her and tell her that you took care of it. She wouldn’t know the difference.

Done.

@SpatzieLover It’s not that she’s worried about who is going to see the photos. SHE doesn’t want to see them because it makes her sad.

Although…how hard is it to just not look at them.” Isn’t there a way you can force a post to not show on your time line? She should just do that.

You don’t even think of her as a friend, delete her. Or not.
But you’ve already made up your mind to keep the pictures up.

If you go to the privacy setting on the albumn, click on Custom, there should be an option to hide from certain groups or people.

Be the bigger person. Take it down. It won’t drastically alter your life and it would be the nice thing to do.

I didn’t take it down. I explained to her why I didn’t want to and she said that was fine. She wasn’t aware, I suppose, that she could untag herself to get the pictures off of her page. Now she knows. So, in her words, “it’s cool.”

No, don’t take it down. I see my deceased husband all over facebook that makes me sad. Do I therefore own everyone’s albums? No.

Her minor child is in the pictures. She asked to take it down. That is all there is to this question. No other reason is needed.

…and making a photo private, doesn’t really guarantee that it’ll be private. Just ask Mark Zuckerberg’s Sister.

The problem has been solved, people. See my last entry.

I know this has already been solved but if you take the picture off Facebook it doesn’t been you’ll lose the picture, just save it to your computer. I only mention this because your reasoning for not wanting to take the picture off Facebook is because you don’t want to lose the picture of your brother in-law (which is fair enough) when you wouldn’t lose the picture at all.

I’m pretty sture @livelaughlove21 is fully aware that she won’t “lose” the picture, which she probably has saved in a thousand other places.

Indeed I am, @Dutchess_III.

@Dutchess_III Sorry, I mentioned it, I didn’t mean to imply any stupidity on @livelaughlove21‘s part.

Personally I think this shows how difficult it is to put things on Facebook and not upset some one.
Why don’t you suggest that the girl just stops receiving updates/posts from you, but is not de-friended.
Do you get a lot of feed-back/comments about the wedding after a year, or is it a case of just the odd visitor?

@livelaughlove21 I am sorry that I have answered this, and the problem is dealt with already.
Please ignore any ramblings from me.
Sorry!