Men - How close do you hug a female friend?

As long as there is no crotch to crotch contact, the hug is platonic.

A guy gave me a real hug the other day. It was so nice after the usual shoulder hugs. I appreciated it and felt comforted, which is what he had in mind.

@Sunny2 Yes, that is what I feel. I like the comfort of real touch but don’t want it to be construed as sexual. More people seem to be hugging these days but I want to do it comfortably for both.

I’m a hugger. I do full on hugs – men and women. It’s platonic and it’s nice.

@LuckyGuy I would kind of expect that of you!

I’ve never had any problems front-hugging (or being front-hugged) by close female for male friends, but in the workplace I had be content with edge-to-edge hugging, and precious little of that.

Personally, I don’t think a hug is a hug if it’s a partial/lean in hug. That goes for everyone.

If I hugged her, it would be because I was not put off by her, so breast, shoulders, hips, etc touching me would not bother me. If I were put off by her it would not matter what part touched me, if she initiated a hug.

I favor naked hugs, but I’m not averse to full-contact hugs with clothing, either.

A hug is body to body.

@marinelife That’s kind of what I think but some guys do this nambdy-pambdy shoulder hug thing so I wondered if I’m off.

I hug whole body. It’s not like I am moving my hips in, but I do hold a woman close.

The more I want to have sex with a woman when I give a platonic hug, the less body contact I do when she clearly wants just a platonic hug. Seems gross and manipulative if I have sex plans for a girl and she is like “I am so sad about x” for me to be doing a full on hug.

Girls I have no plans to get with get full on hugs.

Bonus question: Is a “comfort hug” different from a “glad to see you hug” in terms of touch?

@janbb Glad to see you hugs I take note of breast placement and duration. Same as “We should see each other again soon hugs”.

Comfort hugs are more male initiated and super awkward if you find the woman attractive.

If we have some chemistry together it’s going to be full contact from the knees to the shoulders. And I mean full. But a comfort hug I let her dictate the degree of touch.

Full on hugs work for me.

Very nice @Imadethisupwithnoforethought. I like full on hugs with people I am comfortable with hugging. I am not typically a hugger though and there arent a lot of people on that list. Male or female.

But I am getting better about hugs I was taught the lean in hug was appropriate so if I have a choice I opt that way. There have been people who grab me and pull me in. I am usually delighted. Bit not always.

@Unbroken Good rule of thumb: Give what you get. If they lean in do the lean in.

@janbb Yes, A comforting hug is different from a glad to see you hug. The comforting hug is a full 1 second longer and about 25% tighter.

@LuckyGuy Could have used a few of those this past week.

@janbb Anything you want to talk about? PM me if you want.

@janbb If you need a hug from a guy and you don’t want it to be sexy, say out loud “I have had a shitty week. Give me a hug for a second.” Most guys are gonna hug you and not try to feel boobs. We are built genetically to spoil daughters you know. Just appeal to that, if that is where you are coming from.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought If I had a daughter and you were coming for a date you’ll find me on the front porch cleaning my rifle when you come to pick her up.

@Adirondackwannabe Little o’l me? I am as gentle as a fly.

@Imadethisupwithnoforethought Yeah, and daughters aren’t God’s retribution on guys.:) Back to huggin.:)

Very, I get along with them better so….

I would be respected at a distance. A firm handshake will do.

I used to hug people for real. Warm full hugs. As a generalization (not always true), young ladies who are worried about appearances take a hug much more seriously than I intend them. Too many misinterpreted hugs. Maybe I’m creepy, maybe I’m in the middle zone where you don’t want me to get the wrong idea, I don’t know. I just got tired of making a percentage of people uncomfortable.

Now I just come in the room and give everyone high-fives, men get high-fives, women get high-fives, babies get high-fives. No one thinks, “ohh damn, that guy just violated me without my permission” after a high-five. No one has to get up to give me some up high, I’ll get down low. You don’t even have to stop what you’re doing, just hang it out there, I’ll get it. No one is worried about their breath, body odor, or staying too long. It’s the perfect greeting.

as an aside, regarding breast contact, it doesn’t make me uncomfortable at all when hugging, if you keep running them into me while we’re talking, rubbing them on my arm, or leaning over me where they just happen to come in contact with my arm/shoulder/face, then I’m going to think something is up

That said, anyone who wants or needs a hug instead of a high-five, I’m all for it. And if you’re a gentleman of a certain size and proportion, I’d definitely appreciate a belly bump, bring it on.

Not a big hugger with those who are friends and aquaintances. I reserve them for family.

The huggy kissy face crowd throw me for a loop. I am not sure what to do when they come up and grab me and go for the embrace. I go along with it but feel like I am a fish out of water.

As long as my penis doesn’t enter her vagina during the hug, I don’t think twice about it. I hug men and women the same way, but of course I won’t complain about a boob touching me.

@Blackberry . . . I can assure you that, as much as I wish it was so, you’re penis will never enter in to one of my vaginal hugs.

Not so tight, I take a genuinely gentle approach, also I’m married if that helps you answer your question a little better.

I go for the full hug, and it’s just too bad if she has large breasts, I’m not going to alter my hugging style. That being said, I don’t hug for more than a second or two unless it’s someone I’m really close with. I do love hugs though.

I do full hugs with everyone, male or female, as long as the other person is comfortable with it.

@janbb That’s kind of what I think but some guys do this nambdy-pambdy shoulder hug thing so I wondered if I’m off.
Because these days if you give many women a full-on frontal hug you might get a knee to the groin or a slap to the face—frontal hugs get mistaken for sexual advances.

Interesting question. I tend to joke around a lot at work so my co-workers know not to take me seriously.

Except, of course, when it comes down to doing my work, for which I’ve earned the reputation of doing quite well.

My occassionally spontaneous self deprecating humor occasionally gives me license to do or say things which might otherwise get me charged with sexual harassment. Nothing said or done that’s disrespectful or overtly sexual, just mildly flirtatious or “borderline suggestive”.

I know all about “the lean in”. Its not unusual for me to insist upon a proper hug…and just maintain that hug just shy of being a bit too long.

It’s all in good fun. It flatters the woman…I get a cheap thrill…adds a bit of variety to the tedious work day.

It depends on how well that I know them. If I’m hugging a woman that I don’t know too well, I’m usually very passive and I’ll embrace them lightly. Now when I ran into a girl whom I knew very well or was close with I tend to pull them in a little closer and ‘squeeze’ a bit harder. It depends how close they are to me, and how well I know them, but I don’t hug everybody the same.

Ah I just remembered when I was younger up to the end of teens.. I had several guy friends that I would rush and jump up into their arms and they would usually give me a small twirl.

Nice memory. But prob not appropriate to you @janbb if on the other hand there is a guy you trust give it a shot it feels better than a spa day. Not that I actually know what that feels like

I let the female friend/relative decide.

janbb Any guy who is comfortable with hugs in general, will be okay with you leaning in to hug with some breast contact. Yes, they will be able to tell they are against your breast, but any decent guy will understand this as non-sexual. Guys can tell when the contact is just platonic and friendly. Guys like hugs from female friends, as it is often demonstrative of a relationship that is more emotionally honest and accepting of feelings, than is found in most male relationships. Plus, women are just plain good huggers.

I always lean in with my shoulders so nothing else touches. The only time I give a full on hug is in times of grief.

Oh hell. I thought @downtide was back. But this question is from 2013. :(