Does this sound like the bad idea I think it sounds like?

It’s a bad idea, quite clearly.

You seem to be resisting the decision to move in with him (and for good reasons, I think) more than embracing it. If it’s mainly for financial problems, which is sort like telling yourself you have to do it, I counsel against your doing it.

No! Don’t do it! It sounds like a really, really bad idea to me.
Your first thought was no. I’d stick with it.

I agree that it sounds like a bad decision on several levels – but especially for your health.

As for being social and using that to avoid the vortex of depression, I suggest seeking out social groups based on your personal hobbies and interests, and perhaps other groups based on your medical condition(s) and gluten-free lifestyle. I often recommend that folks look on Meetup.com and type in your interests to see if there are groups in your area. In addition to Meetup for medical based support and social groups, start on the web with sites dedicated to your condition, and also check whether hospitals in your area have groups or seminars that address your conditions or dietary needs.

The guy wants to have you living with him and dependent on him so that he can have sex with you and you will feel that you don’t have a choice. Run away.

With all of the various elements involved here, your health issues and lack of cash and his ownership of the property, visiting children and his obvious sexual interest in you, it’s hard to definitively say “yea” or “nay” for certain. Especially difficult because it seems that on some level you may be somewhat attracted to him, also, though that’s not spelled out.

On its face I’d say that it’s probably a bad idea, since you’d be putting yourself perhaps too much at his mercy: he owns the property and his kids are frequent visitors, so you’d be giving up a certain amount of autonomy – more than you already have. You might eventually feel forced into a more and more personal relationship that, whether it has any appeal to you now or not, you might eventually resent, and then you’d have to start plans to not only move but break up the relationship, too. Having no money makes that even harder.

How would you feel about “working things out” (in any way that might be acceptable to you in a personal way) if money was no object, or if he were the poor one in this relationship? If you owned the property and could set the rules, how would you feel then about inviting him to be a roommate? That might guide you toward an answer.

To me, it’s too messy, plus having kids around every other weekend would be noisy and extra-intrusive. To me, not worth it, but I don’t know how desperate you are financially. I also always caution people on not mixing up business and personal relationships, and this would be a mix up of a business and a personal relationship. Extra messy.

This sounds like a perfect way to destroy a nice relationship. A pleasant landlord-tenant situation can be very difficult to find, and this man treats you well.

You already know that he’s romantically attracted to you. His feelings won’t go away just because you move in with him; they’ll likely escalate. You might find yourself stuck in some very uncomfortable circumstances.

Also, it’s not a good idea for roommates to be on unequal footing. If you’re both renting as co-tenants, the terms are even. If you live with him in his home, however, you’ll always be the outsider. When a homeowner wants to rent space to other people, that person should make it clear, up front and in writing, that the tenants are boarders, not roommates, and what the house rules will be.

Some really good advice here.

We do have a really great relationship landlord renter relationship. Which I do value and is rare.

I do find him attractive from what I have seen in his character and physically. Even so I haven’t felt compelled to act on it just curious and don’t want to rock the boat. But that is not strong enough to want to live with him. That would really set me on the wrong foot.

I would like to think he asked me because I am good and get along with his kids never pay my rent late keep my apartment in good condition and clean. Not for making things complicated.

Still the only way I can still think that 100% is by not testing it. Is not doing it and as ya’ll pointed out there are more then enough reasons not to.

Money is not important enough to fall into trouble for an easy way out. Still why do I always have reservations about things that should make my life easier. I sense a conspiracy : P

@Unbroken Don’t do it for economic reasons. If you are interested in the guy, get to know him better and then decide. I don’t think it will make life easier.

@Adirondackwannabe that’s all right i think I will forego the possible attraction 100% while I am his tenet. He is an adult but still I have no idea how he handles his relationships. And I have decided my instant no was correct and the right decision for me. Though it probably would have been more polite to hear him out.

If a relationship with a guy is going to develop, it’s best to develop on its own and not because you’re suddenly living with him due to trying to save money.