Why do guys stare and hit on my friends and not me?

A lot of guys generally gravitate towards who they feel is the path of least resistance. Do you really want that, really?

How would we know if you’re ugly or not? Perhaps you just don’t look approachable. Or you seem too eager. No one here can tell you for sure. We don’t even know what you look like.

Anyway, beauty is in the eye of the beholder. You seem awfully caught up in getting male attention. Maybe you’re putting off that “I’m desperate” vibe. Guys don’t typically like clingy desperate girls.

@livelaughlove21 that is so true! I actually broke up with a woman because she insisted on literally “hanging” on my arm everywhere we went. Seriously, check please, we’re done here!

I don’t like male attention, and I’d rather a guy like me after spending some time with me, but when you have to stand there when your friend is being hit on many men at once, you kind of wonder why.

@lovelessness Where are you that multiple guys are approaching one girl at the same time? Some bar? Simple solution: don’t go to bars. Or walk away when your friend starts talking to some dude. No one is making you stand there.

^ Not only bars but on the street. Why walk away? If im walking on the street with a friend and she gets stopped by 5 guys I cant walk away, i would want her to have her talk if she wants.

@lovelessness I find it hard to believe that 5 guys approached your friend while walking down the street. Is this friend Angelina Jolie or something?

Like I said, there’s no way any of us can answer this question without knowing anything about you. How would we know?

Haha It happens quite often actually.

@lovelessness Get uglier friends. That’s all I’ve got.~

I’ve never been one to get much attention either.
It’s not important now, but when I was younger it pretty much sucked.

Take some control of the situation. Instead of wondering why you may not appear “interesting” to these boys and young men, be “interested” instead. In the first case, you’re the passive object of others’ interest; in the second, you’re the actor.

If you become “interested” in people, then they will often become interested in you as well. But if your attitude is projected, as you said, “I don’t like male attention”, then you’re going to be walking an uphill road all the time on this.

Frankly, it’s not clear to me whether you want attention so that you can flout it, or whether you disdain it out of some kind of “sour grapes” attitude, since you’re not attracting it. Not that it matters to me one way or another, but it’s what I’m reading in some of your responses.

Stand up straight, act confident, smile, and if they don’t act interested, that’s their loss.

I suspect that you’re giving off an impression of desperation and insecurity, and that is highly unattractive to most guys. You seem to obsess rather too much on this and similar topics.

My teen years were the same as you. I was smart & not a slut. After 20 I was never single again so don’t worry.

http://www.fluther.com/161123/why-do-some-females-perpetuate-outdated-stereotypes-by-acting-as-if/#quip2752399

Regarding your response to this question….

I tend to be sarcastic and I talk about things that challenge the opposite sex. They get turned off.

Didn’t you sort of answer your own question?
I never got anywhere with women I had just met by being sarcastic and trying to challenge them. Things went better in the early going by being friendly and listening to them.
No mystery or bad luck in this case. It’s you, not your friends or the guys.

And one more thing.
I just looked closely at your avatar.
Assuming it is you, but even if it is not, the face is frowning, and the word “Doom” is in the forefront.
Nice.
Just what every guy is looking for.

People are naturally attracted to confidence and even in your question you express doubts about yourself.
Confidence is the hardest thing to obtain, but I would suggest dressing in clothes you know you look good in, looking your best and ACTING confident. That act will become reality, if you keep at it.
Also, although it is very difficult, try and go out without the intention of getting attention from a man. Just have fun with your friends and try and enjoy the moment.

I don’t like male attention, and I’d rather a guy like me after spending some time with me, but when you have to stand there when your friend is being hit on many men at once, you kind of wonder why.
That comes off as either denial, or what you really care about is the waiting you have to do while the attention is focused on your friends. I am not sure if the avatar I see is you, if it is, IMO you are no mud duck. I also do not know what your friends look like or how you all are dressed when you go out places. I also don’t know how you behave, what body language you use, etc. If you don’t care for male attention, then do things to minimize the chance that advances from guys will slow the train down, or express to your friends they should wrap it up quick as to not have everyone waiting on them.

I havn’t responded to your past questions before, but I’ve seen them and your posts regardless so I’ll base my response here considering what little I know about you. I’ve known many girls like yourself, including my own sisters, so I’ll consider my own life experience too here relating to this question.

I know it bothers you that your friends are getting more attention, but regradless of that, nobody is entitled to have anybody approach them, man or woman in my opinion. It’s quite possible that these more assertive guys are very lowbrow, jerks, and are attracted to what they consider easy prey. It’s also very possible that the type of guy you would be most compatable with isn’t the type to even to be out and about on the public scene, so you may have to do some work yourself in trying to make an effort in getting that type of guy.

I really think you’re kidding yourself if you think that the type of guy who would find someone like yourself interesting is going to be similar to the guys who’re approaching your friends. You can’t have the best of both worlds, and magically expect the guy of your dreams to approach you. You may not be as compatable with your friends as you might think you are, and guys like the ones you’ve mentioned may just simply sense this about you.

You may be having false expectations concerning finding a compatable guy by thinking you can continue with your habits and expect better results. Also, it appears you may be putting yourself in scenerios which will never allow you to meet a compatable guy, unlike your friends. It’s a selfish attitude to expect to be approached in my opinion too, so regardless of what’s occuring with your friends you may need to work on trying to get with the right person by doing your own thing, and not depending upon fate and an attitude of entitlement. Times are changing, and more men require women to show interest as well unlike in the past.

It happens to me too sometimes. I don’t think it’s because youre ugly I think it’s because guys nowaday are interested in one type of girl ( for ex: nice features, big ass, light skin etc) because of the media and what they promote so whenever they see it they’ll go for it.