Was there ever a time in your life when you got burned (relationship wise)? Either from a work situation, personal situation, whatever?
Asked by
jca (
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September 10th, 2013
Did you ever get burned, either work-wise, romantically or friendship-wise? By “burned” I am referring to either someone ratting on you, backstabbing, or doing something you never expected a friend or coworker should or would do?
I had a coworker accuse me of something yesterday, but he was wrong. In his accusation, he cc’d the boss. In my defense of myself, in response, I of course cc’d the boss. Then when the co-worker admitted he was incorrect, he sent the admission and apology only to me. It was only when I told him to send it to the boss that he did, but the whole thing made me like “Ooohhh, so now I know who I can trust.” Not that I said that, but I thought it. If you’re going to be a rat, at least be correct in your rat-ness!
I am just thinking about what happened and wondering if anybody else had anything similar happen – anything like backstabbing or someone doing something bad you never would have expected.
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Yes. My last job. There was going to be redundancies, my bosses handed out letters to everyone, and we had to be reinterviewed for our jobs. I heard that the secretaries all got together and said they would all go down to 4 days, so that they wouldn’t get rid of anyone. I thought it was a good idea. I was Senior receptioinst with 2 others under me, I told them about this idea and suggested we dis the same. Obviously we would lose a days pay, but we would still have a job. They agreed. One of them though, in her interview, said she wouldn’t do because she couldn’t afford to lose money (she was 17), so they made me redundant, as I earned the most.
Yes, both at work and in my personal life, in all the ways you mention. In some instances it was my fault; in others, someone else’s; and most often, mine and their fault. And it always seemed unfair and hurt like hell.
But “fair” is rarely part of the equation in these situations, driven as they are in the workplace by territoriality, ambition, vanity and politics, and in personal relationships, by any number emotional factors.
One discovers as he/she gets older that affixing blame and railing at the heavens is a waste of time and energy. Learning from the experience is a better investment.
Yes, several.
My ex husband, some old landlords that I rented from for 7 years and a job that fired me after I asked for a raise 3 years in. Such is life…you just get better at CYA, but you have no control over people without scruples.
Oh, heavens yes.
Some “friends” turn out to be self-absorbed users and takers. They suck a person dry until that individual walks away and ends the relationship. Then, the selfish one just moves along to his/her next pal.
Some colleagues view their co-workers as adversaries, not as part of the same team, and will do dishonest and unethical things to get ahead.
Some romantic partners aren’t worth 5 minutes of one’s time and effort, never mind 5 months or 5 years.
I was once accused of sexual harassment on the job. That burned my ass like a thousand exploding suns. I’m still pissed about it 15 years later.
I can’t think of one. I am a very lucky guy.
My fiancé and I made exactly one really good friend in our five years living in and around NYC. The night we had our moving-away party our friend sexually assaulted my fiancé and then begged him not to tell me. Now he keeps texting us like nothing happened. It makes me so angry.
Just cleaning up that kind of mess right now. A company we contracted to manage real estate went behind my back and slandered me and my husband to other family members. We have given them 30 days notice. They are continuing to slander us, now to the employees.
Talk about true colors!!
Meh lots of times. I’m so over it all.
Yes mainly one perpetually ‘abused’ co-worker always tries to stab everyone. I like her so I forgive her miserable hide.
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