Does beauty afford privilege?

We live in a superficial society,beauty does afford privilege.

I have an ex friend who is turning 57 this month. I dropped her in 2011 after a 15 yr. friendship/biz. partnership.
She too was stunning, but the most insecure and emotionally fragile woman I have ever known. She had always relied on her looks and her desperation to maintain them became a neurotic obsession for her in her 50’s.

Botox. face lift, chasing younger men that were only a couple of years older than her oldest son. Could NEVER be without a man, male attention, hypersensitive to every little thing….fuck!
Married and divorced twice and on the hunt for #3.
She was so emotionally high maintenance that I finally let her go.

Beauty may afford some privilege but it also affords some serious neurosis.
No thanks, I’m happy being the cute and smart one. lol

@Coloma, my sister reminds me more of you actually. Happy being single, and not only is she beautiful, she’s kind and compassionate. A freakin’ saint. She has her issues but rarely does anyone have an unkind thing to say about her.
She always does her hair and makeup but no extraordinary measures to maintain her beauty. She’s aging gracefully.

Looks may get you in the door, but you have to follow it up with more than adequate skills to get and keep the job.

@Judi Does beauty afford privilege? How the Hell should I know? I’ve sure never had it. And while I can appreciate the aesthetics in others, it is content of character that causes me to afford privilege, not outward looks.

@Coloma It sounds like your ex friend sewed her seeds to the wind and reaped the whirlwind. The life her beauty afforded her hardly sounds worth the price she paid for it.

@Judi Awww…why thank you..a saint I am not, but a pretty good person I think.
It sounds like your sister is pretty grounded, the woman I speak of was not. She was a psychological trainwreck.

. Looks will give you an advantage, but beautiful doesn’t get the job done. (@Sunny2 said it better.)

Yes it does it opens doors, people will go out of their way for you, it makes llife easier. But you still have to be functional on the inside.

Unfortunately, yes.

Of course it does. But it’s not the only thing that does. So I would say no to this:

Do the beautiful people get all the breaks?

Beautiful people get breaks, but not all the breaks. And beauty alone isn’t enough. It may confer advantages and create opportunities, but it’s no guarantee of happiness, satisfaction, or success.

And unlike talent, intelligence, determination, vision, strength, and a number of other valuable qualities, it tends to wear out early.

I bet your sister found it hard to be taken seriously. Someone so beautiful, some will wonder if there are brains behind it. Men will talk to her in the hope of getting with her, and women will either hate her out of jealousy, or be friendly with her to be able to keep an eye on her with their own men. I imagine it was quite lonely for your sister in that respect.

I’m a ugly nerd. So ugly and nerdy that my resume said I know PostgreSQL. I didn’t. But I was able to Google enough to get by doing it.

Being pretty in retail or sales will land you the job when ugly won’t. For things where the public won’t see your inner nerd helps. They assume the nerd is trustworthy and won’t come in covered in cum and gin.

Sadly, ::sniff:: I wouldn’t know. ::waaaaahhh;;

As someone who has lost a ton of weight from weight loss surgery (miracle surgery by the way), I can tell you that people treat me way better than they used to. People are nicer to me, more receptive, smile at me, people at parties talk to me when they used to ignore me. Yes, friends tell me that part of that is probably because I am different: more confident, more outgoing, and I’m sure that’s true but it’s all related.

I got a great job I wasn’t even looking for, didn’t interview for, but got. At work I have guys coming in to my office, sitting down to chat, flirting, ready to do something if I need it done. Part of what I do for a living is meeting with politicians, political candidates, members of our organization and represent our organization.

For me, my looks have opened a bunch of doors.

For sure, but with privilege comes great responsibility, you think it’s easy looking this good?

Of course beauty affords privilege! You saw it yourself, @Judi, your whole life with your sister. All of us have seen it in high school and college. The problem is that the advantage extends beyond that time, when you would think that people would have more sense.

Although I don’t feel like looking it up, (bad nerd!) I read an article a while back about attractive people getting preferential treatment in criminal cases. There was a study or something that way. Anyway, you’re right. Better looking people do get treated better.

Yes but not just privelages, you get blonde jokes & mauled. Looks fade too.

@KNOWITALL I’ll have to disagree with looks fading… I was always a hansom kid growing up and now I’m 37 and very pleased. I think I’ve actually improved with age! I’m looking forward to being a handsome old man one day.

You don’t usually see a hideous news anchor or celebrity.

@DWW lol, 37 is not even middle age silly. If a car wreck melts our face we better hope we have substance.

@KNOWITALL Here, here, yep!
I have enjoyed being fairly attractive, but, you know what? CONFIDENCE is where it’s at.
Dressed up or dressed down I always get good service, respect, because I am clear, direct, confident and humorous.

POISE and CONFIDENCE can trump the most beautiful person who has neither.

@KNOWITALL Well that escalated quickly…

@Coloma Humor & intellect are super attractive, more than classic features for sure. Those people always draw others.

@KNOWITALL Agreed, 10,000 %! :-)

@DWW nuttin but love here!

@KNOWITALL I left a clerk speechless in the soup isle the other day when I couldn’t find a veggie broth for a killer soup I make.
Told the guy his “broth-al” was inadequate.
He tried to respond but Coloma zings another one. lol

According to everyone here… Everyone here is gorgeous! Clearly, that pertains to me but I have my doubts about some of the others. Anyway, on to your question… If I may re-answer… It seems ego trumps reality! I reckon that’s all I have to say about that!

@DWW25921 Go back and read my answer. I sure made no such claim. :-)

@ETpro Modesty works well, good angle. I’m not buying it though.

@DWW25921 Well..from the looks of your avatar I’d say you could stand to get a nose job. I must say kissing horse lips is one of my fetishes. I’ve kissed a lot of horse lips in my day. Mule and donkey and llama lips too. lol

@Coloma It’s all fun and games until they sneeze.

^^ Why the long face?

@ucme You horsing around again? Alpaca joke for ya.

Neigh lad, neigh.

@DWW25921 Oh yes, my old horse sneezed on me before work one morning, had to change. Had Alfalfa snot all over my dress. lol

@Coloma My avatar here lives on a friends farm a town away. I don’t have to worry about morning sneezes! :)

@Coloma: “Alfalfa snot all over your dress” or was Bill Clinton happy to see you? LOL

^^^^ Ewww! haha

@DWW25921 Ha! With me, flattery will just get you where you already are,

@ETpro Flattery will get me cookies and surrounded by kittens.

Heh…just yesterday at a Starbucks with my 25 yr. old daughter a guy went into major flattery mode. Told me my daughter couldn’t be 25 because, obviously, I was only 35. haha
I told him outright, “flattery will get you nowhere” and it didn’t. Nice try geezer.lol

I was in a covenience store with my sister hen the young cashier started flirting with my sister. I said, you realize she has a 40 year old son don’t you? He just about shit a brick as the guy couldn’t have been 30 himself.
I’m happy with my life but when I’m with my sister I become freakin’ invisible and all those childhood insecurities creep back up. I hate it.

Pretty is in the eye of the beholder but beauty come from the soul. As much as it may be true, being pretty can cover many flaws, performance and character. I have worked at places where pretty women, some men, can get by with the intelligence of a cue ball and the personality of standing dishwater. Once in the women always had some guy willing to take up the slack in hopes she would reward him with attention at best or maybe even a romp in the hay eventually. As much as stunning girls say they can’t get date because people are too afraid to approach them, or believe they have someone already, it is because they may have fostered that subconsciously growing up. They had their pick and I am sure they did not choose the freckled kid with buck teeth and no athletic skills when the handsome captain of the football team had an interest in them. Can pretty out do money……in men, maybe, with women…..a tossup.