How can I approach this differently?

You’ve found the secret to life and where it intersects with the lesson of life. I don’t know the answer, but then I really don’t want to learn it either. That would take the joy and the newness and the uncertainty from the journey of life. If we stay open and caring, with a side of tolerance and acceptance I think we can do what you want to do. How’s that for enigmatic?

Enigmatic? Not bad. So what is the secret to life that I have found? And since when has learning something not created a ton of new doors and questions?

You have a bit of arrogance, that you know better than others what the weight of someone else’s problems are. If they ask your advice, that is one thing, but never offer it unasked.

And stop thinking you know if someone else’s struggles aren’t really problems. Quit judging others lives, but instead work on yourself.

And, you are no more unique than anyone else. You do not know all about another person.

@Unbroken You found the secret, I didn’t say you found the answer. I’m still looking for that. But like I said, maybe I don’t want to know that.

Tough one huh? I see what you mean, I think, but putting it down in words is hard without coming off as “arrogant”. I know that wasn’t your intent but it is hard to articulate.

@zenvelo I do recognize that it is arrogant and judgemental of me to think the way I do. Despite of that I am asked by repeat people.many of whom I know their histories well and have experienced and come out the other side of problems they faced. Or at least see my solution and have applied corrective measures. But these people will ask my advice and then not follow it. And a week or month later will come complaining about the same problem.

Or the people I never offer advice to but bitch to me regularly when the answer is right in front of their noses.

So often I do know to the extent another person can about them and how their problems influence their lives. I am often biting my tongue. Especially if the people have no idea what my problems are or if they might know about it if it even occurs to them to think about what I am going through.

In essence I have created a situation where everyone feels too comfortable using me as a confidente and everyone seems so convinced my problems are handled if they are even aware of them that there is no way I can confide in them. A few times I have tried or started to but I just can’t they stop me by their reaction or I think about their issues and how they just don’t seem to possess something for it.. point of reference or maturity or emotional strength or insight and I can’t.

As to uniqueness I never claimed to be unique.

@Adirondackwannabe yes it is tough. I am trying to be honest and clear without unnecessary drama. I think I failed. As to answers I think I need one. I feel so unconnected to my peer group that I can’t enjoy kicking back with them.

Nevermind I figured it out. I will just tell them I don’t wish to discuss their problems.with them. Or change the subject. Talking it out helped.

Night lady.

Good night. : )

Think to yourself that everyone’s journey has been like yours. That they have learned from their experiences. Think about you would feel if someone lectured you. You have your own silly beliefs about yourself too. You are no better than anyone else.

@marinelife I am often lectured. I am usually grateful for it. I value lectures because they let me know I still have plenty to learn and that people still care enough about me to tell me when I screwed up.

I do have a ton of silly ideas and thoughts.

far as better then other people… I do think I am better in ways then other people. There are types of intelligence therencan be ethics there are several different ways to measure things. I work on things I value in those regards I am better. I have a ton of failings too I am more then ready to admit.

I think the people who are convenient to me I have just out grew but since my nature is solitary and life has made me moreso I just haven’t found people who I relate to well in my current me.

“I need a way to balance…”

Exercise and eat healthy food. Make these habits regiment to build discipline.

With good health and discipline, there will be little need to prove yourself to anyone. It will just be one of those obvious unspoken things that everyone around you recognizes. Admiration will be upon you without ever having to say a word.

Take the advice of the Inebriati a.k.a. Knights Tippler: Get ever so slightly drunk. Makes things easier.

I have some good friends that are very smart, and they are always telling people interesting things and facts. Unfortunately most people don’t find it amusing or even interesting and avoid them completely, asking my hubs and I how we can stand to be around them, that they act full of themseles and superior.

Just find the right people that are interested in what you have to say, because I think it’s great and always want an opportunity to learn.