How often should one visit someone in the hospital?

I think that you should do what you can and not feel guilty. Better one visit a week of quality, play a game maybe, bring in takeout food, books, magazines etc. then a daily visit where you feel stressed and resentful.
I do not believe we should do anything from a place of guilt or obligation.
I am sure your friend is aware of all your other daily challenges and anyone that lays a guilt trip on somebody for not making a huge show of concern is not really a freind.

I’d suggest being honest with this person and letting them know that you wish you could visit them daily but it is just too much given your other responsibilities and limitations.
You CAN call them every day though and that is a caring gesture all by itself.

Every day is optimal for the person who is the closest to the patient but in your circumstances, it would be very hard. I would say if you can get in every few days, that would be great.

And I agree with Coloma’s suggestions although I do feel that it is fine to act out of a sense of obligation at times.

You can try a phone call as well.

It depends on so many things:
– the patient and his / her state of mind and stated wishes
– your relationship with the patient
– the difficulty that you have in making the arrangements to visit, including the cost

If I were you, I’d say that you’d be going “above and beyond” to make two or three visits at most. You might do more good for the person, assuming that he even wants visitors, to enlist others to make more visits, themselves.

Daily calls from you, assuming the person can take them, would probably be very much appreciated.

Ask him what he prefers. I think if you go every three days that should be sufficient. Also, call him before you go and ask if he needs you to bring anything.

I believe you can do only what you are capable of. Don’t beat yourself up. Let the person know you want to be there for them and sometimes you can’t. A phone call to the person or if they have a phone, invite them to call you to chat.
Also maybe sending a card or two would boost their spirits when you can’t get there.

Having been both patient and visitor, I see both sides. As a patient, I found that too many visits could be annoying and tiring, too few or none was sometimes very hurtful. Phone calls and cards helped, but seeing a friendly face and knowing a friend or relative went out of the way to visit almost always perked me up. I don’t do guilt well, so as a visitor, I usually make an effort to pay a visit or two. I usually check first to see if the person is up to it.

Sometimes when people are in the hospital they don’t necessarily want someone coming in all the time. Depending on your relationship with him, he may not want to see you at all. The three times I was in the hospital, I didn’t want people that I knew from work coming in and seeing me in a hospital gown with hair a mess and physical issues going on. I would say go visit once or twice, call daily or if not, then every other day, and bring him stuff when you visit, like some magazines, food (if he can eat it) and anything he might request.

Go when you can without disrupting your life. And Coloma had a good point on quality visits. Cards are good too.

Maybe you can rent a DVD of Beaches and watch it with her?

We are all different. I spent 17 days in the hospital last July-August. I felt uncomfortable having friends visit me because I knew that it was a burden to them. My wife visited me nearly every day and I encouraged her to please not spend her time in the hospital or worry about me. I assured her over and over that I was being well cared for and she didn’t have to waste her time hanging around the hospital. But that is just how I felt about it.

Perhaps you should set up times that you’re going to visit so that both of you are prepared.

I think twice a week should be enough, since he isn’t going to be there that long. This isn’t something you should stress over too much. Unless you two are very close friends I wouldn’t worry about it that much.

I would discuss the question with your friend. Ask him the same question you are asking us.

Tell him you don’t want to visit too much, and also you have other obligations.

The conversation can make it a mutual plan, so neither of you has to guess how the other feels about the circumstances.

I also agree with @Pachyderm_In_The_Room.
A lot of people prefer less than more, I am one of them.
If I am not looking and feeling well I don’t want to feel like I have to be “on” for well meaning others.
Years ago I had kidney surgery, was in the hospital for 2 weeks and a friend would come every day and bring games like Monopoly.

Jesus…have you ever tried to play Monopoly on Morphine? lol

Thank you all for your wonderful idea. and thoughts. I definately fall into the category of “leave me be” while ill, but he is a demanding “high maintenance” if you care about me, you’ll be there type friend. It does seem most wise to set expectations beforehand. This way perhaps by having some voice in the visit days, he will feel that he is getting his needs and wants met too. Sadly, no nearby family to undertake most of it. Again much gratitude!!!!!