What is the strangest conversation, no matter how brief, that you've ever had with a stranger?

I ingest an inordinate amount of alcohol and marijuana. Nearly all of my conversations are strange.

Not exactly a conversation, but… one time while I was waiting at the car wash, a guy motioned to me to roll down my window. When I did he said he just wanted me to know that they were using, in his words, ‘toilet water’ for the car wash. I said , “Ah, ok” or somesuch, then the car wash guy told the weird guy to leave and apologized to me. The weird guy claimed he was just joking.

My last job was a position in customer service. There was a guy who called in every day at the same time to ask one question about the company. This went on for 2 months and he never actually joined .

The questions were priceless. It was always “hello, question, K bye”

how many people who join buy your product? Uh… all of them. That’s how you join. _K bye._That’s pretty basic. T hen started asking about t company sales incentives.

How many people are going on the cruise

What cruise line do you use

Remember he hasn’t even joined or started selling anything yet .

The single best question where I had to put him on hold to laugh was this -

Are there cheese burgers and chicken wings on the cruise ship?

And the day after answering that question – I don’t know but I’m sure they do – he joined.

And 3 days later canceled his account.

After processing his refund we blocked his number.

One time on the subway late at night I sat next to an Asian woman eating what appeared to be large, brown, dull grapes. I asked, “Are those fresh lychees?” She shrugged and said something in her own language. I said and tried to gesture Sorry, language barrier, thanks anyway. Just then the train slid up to her stop, and as she stood up to hurry out the door she smiled and twisted off a stem with two or three of the strange fruit. I ate them on the ride home, and they were delicious. I tried for a long time to find them again and discovered they were longan fruit.

*versus

My DM (dungeon master) and I were making up imaginary funny items of power. tooth picks of doom +20 versus gingivitis. We also included food products on the table as monsters. The cheese pizza lv5.

deleted by me

Early ‘60s, Manhattan, a winter night. I’m on a subway headed home from my night job. It’s around 2 a.m. At the next stop, a well dressed older gentleman gets on, and though he can sit anywhere in the almost empty car, he sits next to me. A moment or two passes and out of the corner of my eye (I’m reading a book) I see that he’s staring at me. And then he says, “Do you know, young man, that you have a classic Grecian profile?” Nineteen, living away from home only a few months, I’m monumentally unwise wise in the ways of Manhattan, let alone the world, so I thank him and turn back to my book, feeling a bit flattered.

He persists. “Truly, I have never beheld such a beautiful face. I would love to photograph it.”

Suddenly it dawns on me that I’m being propositioned, and the feeling of flattery instantly turns to one of panic. I’m still a good 10 long stops from my neighborhood, but at the next step I hastily bolt out of the train and find en empty bench upon which to wait for the next one, covering with my raincoat collar as much of my Grecian profile as possible.

Dammit, @Imadethisupwithnoforethought!

This one.

Wow, @Hawaii_Jake, poor thing. She probably just learned she had an aneurysm. So sad.

@Seek_Kolinahr She just about gave me one.

Pretty much any conversation I’ve had with the Jehovah’s Witnesses.

Me: “Purple crayons are really rather delightful aren’t they?”
Random stranger: “Excuse me, but what the fuck?”
Me: “What does that have to do with the price of pork pies?”
R.S: “Oh really, I have no time for this nonsense.”
Me: “You’re so sexy when you’re angry…call me!”

Greyhound passengers in 1988: Do you have cars in Germany?
Me: Yes, we invented them.
Greyhound passengers in 1988: You must be kidding.

(I am also told that Italians are sometimes being asked whether they have pizza in Italy)

I’m going to break my own rule and tell of a discussion that I had with my step-son-in-law the other day. He’s a Terminex dude, and he stopped by our house. He was having a slow day so he decided to do a termite check for us. He’s also supposed to sell their services.

At one point he was in the kitchen and he says, “How long have you had these [name of the moth] cocoons?” and indicated a tiny black spot on the ceiling, right where it meets the wall. I had never noticed them before. I shrugged, said I didn’t know.
Then he said “And you have a ton of tiny house spiders eating them.”
Well, I know that’s designed to make most people scream “SPIDERS??!! KILL THEM!!!”
I just glanced over at him and said, “Well, that’s why I keep spiders.”
The look on his face! Priceless!

Why spend money on chemicals, when you have free, autonomous, self-replicating biological weapons to deal with the problem.

Yep yep yep! The little guys also serve to give you noticed that you haven’t cleaned a certain area in quite a while, so get to it!

About two years ago, I was stopped by an old lady on the street.

Her: “You’re one of those young things. I bet you know how to tango.”
Me: “Um. No, actually…”
Her: “They didn’t teach you in school?” Obviously pissed at the education system: “Tut, tut.” Then, proudly, “They taught us how to ice-skate.”
I just smiled.

Another time was rather sad:

I was sitting in a train, reading the fourth “Harry Potter”. A woman walked up to me, about thirty.
Her: “What’re you reading?”
Me: “Harry Potter.”
Her: “That’s nice.” A Pause, and then, “Wouldn’t do, though…I can’t read, myself.”
I suggested the audio books. She seemed to consider it.