Are spelling bees and that kind of competition good for kids?

I think it’s okay, I was in them and I enjoyed it. I also hated to lose but that’s part of growing up, learning to lose gracefully. If you teach them while young, they may not go on a shooting rampage if they are disappointed later in life.

I wonder if it hurts mom/gramma more to see the child cry than it hurts the child to be disqualified! Man…you feel so helpless and SAD.

I do not think that it is more harmful than other forms of competition that a child might engage in (athletics, choir, band, robotics, etc.)

I was a smart cookie as a kid, but had zero competitive drive against external forces (other students or siblings), but was extremely competitive against my self (improving my scores, advancing farther). I was, and to a degree still am, way too hard on myself. A spelling bee would probably not have been a good idea for me.

But I think competition can be good for kids. I think it is just important to keep discussion open with the child about the nature of competition.

Sure. Competition is good for kids, and so is failure.

I am against pretending that being able to do something that should be considered bare basics, is something to be celebrated.
Oh, so you can spell banana? Do you want a biscuit for that? After every competition, they should throw dog treats in the kids’ faces.
Like Vegeta, the Prince of ALL Saiyans.

I lost at states to the word ‘swineherd’.

I had no idea what that word meant, I had never heard of a swine before, so did a best guess. Left out the ‘e’.

I’m still pissed, but only at myself. Should have thought longer and worked out the etymology. I knew what a shepherd was, after all.

Competition is healthy for kids. I hate that all kids that participate in any sport now receives a trophy. It takes away the thrill and excitement of actually winning the trophy.

I would be very worried for children who had not given many chances early on to experience the stress and motivation of competition, the disappointment and acceptance of failure, and the thrill and self-appreciation of overcoming failure to achieve success, for they must be prepared for these in their career and personal lives.

Good answers all. @ragingloli I’ll have you know I didn’t know how to spell ‘banana’ until about 6 months ago. I always want to put 2 ‘n’s’ in there somewhere!

You could sure tell the difference between the kids whose parents worked with them over the weekend, practicing the words, and the kids whose parents didn’t.

I told Brande “You will never forget how to spell ‘pilgrim’ again because you lost on that word and it was GRIM!!! PilGRIM!
We also practiced “raccoon.” I said, “O, O! Raccoon has two O’s and two C’s, C? C?”

No. any type of competition that children are required to participate in and has one winner and many losers is wrong. If the children want to participate, and enjoy it, then I don’t think it’s bad.

However, as @Pachyderm_In_The_Room has stated, it can be a good way to learn how to accept loss. I was a good speller, but losing made me feel so bad I refused to participate at all.

I never was good at learning that way. I once had a teacher tell me he couldn’t give me an A, even though I answered more questions correctly than the rest of the class because I could do better. He thought giving me a lower grade would make me try harder, but it just made me give up. I’m glad I was able to talk to him about it, because we worked out a compromise.

No way; I loved the spelling bee. I’d had no idea I was a good speller, and I was happily surprised when I took third in my elementary school. I don’t remember the word I lost on, but I remember it came down to me not knowing if an “a” or an “e” belonged, and it was obvious to the whole audience why I paused and the two options I was considering. Everyone leaned forward a bit and I could see that half the audience was silently rooting for me while the other half tried to figure out the a or e thing for themselves, and it didn’t matter at all to me that I guessed the wrong one because it was so awesome how everyone was pulling for me and I was the third best in the whole school! plus they gave me this cute bee trophy that remains my first and only trophy. Thanks for reminding me of one of my favorite memories.

@YARNLADY Wait…just because you felt that way about ‘losing’ doesn’t mean competition is wrong. Lots of kids thrive on competition and they learn that losing is part of that, and winning is the most awesome feeling of all. See @wildpotato potato’s answer for an example.

Some kids, however, can’t handle it. If their parents push them anyway, then it’s bad on the parents, not on the competition.

@wildpotato,..congratulations BTW!! Yeah, I bit my lip for each kid, and kind of sagged when one got disqualified. I made a point of smiling encouragingly for each kid so if they scanned the audience they would make eye contact with me, and know my grin was for THEM! I got a couple of smiles back, and, after that, a couple of the kids made a point of looking at me after they spelled. I would nod slightly to encourage them. I guess maybe they didn’t family there, which is sad. There were 5 of us there for Brande. Me, her mom, her dad’s parents and her step mom! Well, and her brother, but he was with his class.

no i fink speling beez r a bad eydea and competyshun iz bad forr chirldren

It’s life. And, if anything, it teaches them how to lose – something we all have to learn – and how to do it gracefully. Kids cry. My 10-year-old niece cried the other day when she got a stain on her favorite shirt. It won’t scar her for life, and neither will losing a spelling bee. I lost a couple myself and I barely even remember it.

They’re great… if the parents teach the children how to be a good loser and a good winner. I hate sore losers, but I hate sore winners even more. It’s horrible for someone to beat you in a competition, and then rub it in your face.

Competitions with winners and losers are much better teaching tools for children, anyway. I hate that most of the time now, kids get trophies just for participating. That’s bullshit. You’re not a winner just because you showed up. You’re a winner because you gave 110% and kicked some ass. In real life, we don’t advance simply because we were there. We advance because we did something to earn it.

@WillWorkForChocolate Word.

They’re only good if the kid isn’t a spoilt little brat & uses that skill as a weapon to beat less educated kids. “Hey mommy, look what I won, i’m so special ain’t I?”

Word ya’ll!

Kids need to learn both competition and cooperation. Both satisfy human instincts. Competition needs rules and it has to be fair.