[NSFW] Ladies, temporally speaking, how long is too long?

A guy here, but can you really separate foreplay from sex? Is not foreplay just a different part or form of sex?

Can you ask how long should foreplay last? How long can sex last? If the foreplay goes over by six minutes, should I subtract that from the sex?

I’ve never used a stop watch. I think that might distract me from the task at hand, not that I’ve ever considered it work.

@Sunny2, so if it generally lasted an hour, then you’d be good with that?

@rojo, for clarity, I’ll rephrase. When you are being sodomized in your butthole, is there generally a point at which your butthole or some other part of your body becomes too sore or tired to continue? Do you have a general preference for how long you like to be sodomized based on your experience, and generally do you find that your stamina or interest wanes after so long? Thank you.

There is no too long when it comes to my Tentakulon.

I don’t think there is a ‘too long’. I would say the average is probably 20–30 minutes once inside.

Based on my experience, negative one second of being sodomized is too long. (Is there someplace other than your butthole where you can be sodomized?)

I’ll speak as a gay man here, @serenade, and I’ll speak specifically to your rephrased question.

I enjoy anal intercourse and can participate in it for longer than an hour when it’s properly done.

Your use of the terms sodomy and butthole makes me angry. Your prehistoric attitudes about intimacy as evidenced by your derisive use of these terms disgusts me.

I will not be following this thread, so you may bully me to your heart’s content. Fluther is a public forum, and you cannot dictate who answers your questions. We cannot exclude males, females, gays, straights, slanted, differing races, etc.

Thank you. ~

Now, please find the nearest body of fresh water and jump in it.

Intercourse for 5 minutes is plenty. I love intercourse, it is my favorite part of the whole sexual encounter, but longer than that is not necessary in my opinion. By 20 minutes it is definitely too long, and getting annoying. I guess somewhere around 10–15 minutes is ideal, but I never timed it really so my estimation might be off.

@rojo Of course you can separate the two. Is third base the same as a home run? Can you get pregnant from both? I really don’t get this broad definition of the word “sex” these days.

@Hawaii_Jake, forgive me for giving offense. Likewise, it’s annoying to me to be first parsed with something so obvious when my question is about as simple and straightforward as one can make it. I don’t have blanket attitudes about homosexuality or any other sexual orientation, and I am open to a range of expressions of love and pleasure. Someone, though, seems to have a very urgent need for a direct pointing of my meaning, and my only intent was to provide it.

I am not asking this or any question for the purpose of excluding anyone. I am asking for information relevant to my situation. (Again, let us parse the obvious.) Even so, I appreciate you relating your experience, since it is fairly relevant to the question. Thanks for responding.

Is it okay with you if I jump into the ocean instead? I much prefer it.

@gailcalled, according to Wikipedia, sodomy has a multitude of definitions. As indicated above, it seems one cannot be too specific.

@JLeslie, thank you. I am most interested in similar responses.

I didn’t know this question was about anal sex. We don’t do anal sex.

@Headhurts, thanks as well, and as originally stated the question is not about anal. (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

I just wondered why most are answering as though we are talking about anal. I never saw anal in the question, but most answers appear as though it was.

for clarity, I’ll rephrase. When you are being sodomized in your butthole, is there generally a point at which your butthole or some other part of your body becomes too sore or tired to continue? Do you have a general preference for how long you like to be sodomized based on your experience, and generally do you find that your stamina or interest wanes after so long?

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I’m with @JLeslie here. 5–10 minutes of penetration is perfectly fine with me. 20–30 minutes? An hour? I’d be annoyed.

Those people that claim to have sex for hours or all night – I just hope that they are counting foreplay and/or including the rest time in between. Regardless, I’d rather be asleep.

There have been times in my life when 5 minutes was too long, and when an hour was not long enough. The other variables that influence include: how much energy I have; did I have any pre-existing aches or pains (such as from my hormonal/menstrual cycle or soreness from a previous session); is my relationship with my partner mostly joyous or have we been on each other’s nerves; was I in the mood to begin with or did my partner initiate, and if so was the foreplay generous enough to get my motor running; and probably most importantly, am I well-lubricated and are the proportions of his penis to my vagina or anus pleasant, or is he a bit too large for comfort?

This is not a question that has a right or wrong answer, like any question about human behavior and preferences. It’s like asking how much coffee is enough each day – some have never had it, others don’t like coffee and some drink it all day long.

For me it is not just comfort or boredom if it goes on too long. It also feels like the guy is having trouble. Not turned on enough, not “into” me enough. The experience is less intense psychologically, unless it is really a unique sex session.

It’s situational. Some times are just different than others.

I agree with @hearkat

After an hour of intercourse, I’d start to feel as though I were in labor. Forget the orgasm. Will a baby be the payoff?

I think @hearkat said it all. It varies.

If you have to ask this question someone’s head and/or heart aren’t in the game and you need to talk this out.

Not too sure why this is directed at women, it would seem to me the physical limitations go both ways. If you do it for too long as a guy, it starts to feel like your dick was run over, specially if you end up doing it several times in a row. To me, it feels almost like when you push down on a big bruise, not the most erotic feeling on earth.

@all, I do realize there are many variables. Hence, “generally.” Regardless, thanks for the responses.

sorry… I didn’t say “generally.” Anyway, thanks for responding.

@Adirondackwannabe, this is sometimes true and also true are the messages to “think about baseball,” which maybe aren’t as prevalent anymore, but certainly were when I was younger. As someone who is really good at “thinking about baseball,” I find this information useful. I would never have guessed, for example, that five minutes would be plenty in some cases.

Slightly surprised no one answered ”12 inches.”

Too predictable, too obvious and too overdone. It has been very nice to read these answers that actually answer the question.

Ahem, Milo.

As others said it’s really situational. Sometimes some quick sex is really all both parties want and then other times where it goes on quite longer. I’d say on average it’s around 20–30. As much as I love sex, if I’m not super horny at that time then after ~20 min it can start to feel a bit tiresome.
Though it’s never a chore :P

Just communicate. Do you have plans after. Does one of you need sleep tired hurting or due at work soon?

Is the intercourse enjoyable are you both engaged horny a break for hydration or to cuddle and get breath back etc? Are you both almost continuously turned on? Are you regular partners or or both have active sex lives. Then size and position also comes into play. How physically fit are both of you?

All these factors and maybe more dictate the length prior to soreness. If I start to get sore or tender and things may not be wrapping up quickly then I ask him to be gentle. Or tell him I am tender I may ask to go down on him or ask for an intermission or just to change to a position that is more comfortable to me. I also may start talking about how excited I am for him to come. Or start describing where I want him to come and how I want to milk him, in other words amping dirty talk or taking it to another level physically. I almost never regret being sore afterwards. Its like exercisizing and pushing past the wall. It’s great but I also don’t want to do it every time. It’s just not practical.

@serenade If you include sex play, 3–5 hours wasn’t too much. It depends on your partner. Actual intercourse, if you go slower and faster, 15 minute to a half hour is nice. I’ve never experienced too long, except I may fall asleep because I get so relaxed.

Folks, FWIW I would like to apologize for my response to @rojo. I see now that I could have course corrected in a number of less venomous ways than I did, and that my response was a reaction borne of some bad Fluther habit from days when gentility was less prevalent.

I’m sorry for creating a cloud of ill will and will respond differently in the future.

To be honest, I think the real question should be, “How long is long enough?” LOL

It’s not the question top ask to a wide number of people I think. Every woman has her own preferences that not only concern the time but everything else. So you should talk to your partner, honesty is the best thing that can only improve relationships.