"What's in a name?"?

My given name and maiden name fit me. My married name sort of does sort of doesn’t. I don’t really “look” like my married last name. It is from the middle eastern part of the world and I naturally have very pale skin, medium brown thin hair, and blue eyes. My background is eastern European. But, it is not extreme like seeing the name Gunther Herrmann on a Vietnamese man. Not that there would be anything wrong with it. People constantly ask me what part of the world my now last name is from, and since it is not where my family is from, I always feel like I have to clarify that. My married name is a Jewish last name, and I am Jewish, so people get that right. So, in that way it is fitting, and overall I do look and come off as Jewish, if someone has some stereotypes about a Jewish look. I get a lot of compliments on my married last name. People think it is unique and cool, and some mention there is someone well known with the same name. I could care less about that.

My first name is a very common name, but both my maiden and married names aren’t. That’s kind of cool. My maiden was more difficult for people, being much much more rare. Both have weird consonants together that Americans have trouble with. They don’t want to put those letters together. My mom for the longest time spelled my last name with an extra letter, not because of the two weird consonants, but because my married name has an alternate spelling, and I guess she likes the alternate better. LOL. Some of my other relatives do it also. Doesn’t bother me, I just sometimes let them know when they do it. I think that it doesn’t bother me makes it fitting. I have a few realtives by marriage who have difficult for Americans to spell names, and they get annoyed when their names are spelled wrong, including their mom gets pissed. She should have chosen David and Mary if she wanted the names to always be spelled correctly.

My first name can be shortened several different ways, and it is fine with me if people shorten it. Most people don’t shorten it. There are about 5 people in the world who shorten it to the y ending (similar to Christina being shortened to Chrissy) and it is more like a cute funny thing at this point, because I barely know people are talking to me when they say it. I would say it doesn’t really fit me when people use it, but I like when those few people do use it, because it is kind of special. Mostly people use my full first name, all three syllables, or the one syllable shortened version.

You asked how important is my name to me. Well, I dropped my maiden name altogether legally. I use my given first and middle name and my married last name. I do still say my maiden name when talking to people from years back who may not know or remember my married name. Sometimes I wish I had kept my maiden name as my middle name. I really like having a popular first name, because it is almost funny how many people I know with my same name. It’s almost like being part of a club. I am very glad I have an unusual last name though, so people from the past can find me.

@JLeslie Brilliant story. Thank you. I do love interesting names.

I go by several different names and they have changed over the years, but my favorite ones have been Mom and Grandma.

My first name, Gail, is no big secret here. In the Jewish tradition, I was named after my greatgrandmother, Golda. My maiden name, Finkel, also no big secret here, came from the Finkels in a Lithuanian schtetl. FInkel Inn was owned by my great- greatgrandfather, Oscar, who was an architect. His son, Lazar Finkel, was also the Innkeeper and beer brewer. His son was Benjamin Finkel, great-grandfather of you-know-who.

The Jewish Cemetery: Etil Finkel, died in 1806.

MY first married name meant “forest” in German. My second was a derivative of the Scottish Thane of Cawdor, a boring name.

How do you decide whether a name fits you? I do love being able to trace the history back to 1800. The history certainly defines me.

I like my given name, but I’ve also had so many nicknames I’ve lost count. I guess I don’t care what I’m called, as long as it’s done because someone enjoys my presence. That counts more to me.

I’ll be very happy in a few months when I take my birth name back I’ve always preferred it to my married name. As my first name, I always found the long version a bit harsh so I introduce msyelf by my short name now.

When I was born, my parents gave me a first name and a last name. I liked the first name, was not a fan of my surname, but I did like having only two names. When I married, I chose to go with my first name and my new last name, and leave off the maiden name because I didn’t like it.

I have lived in 4 other states and had only two names, but when I moved to my new state a year ago and applied to get a driver’s license, they FORCED me to take on a new middle name. It could have been my maiden name, any other name, or Mosquito for that matter. I’m so angry I could spit, but it doesn’t matter one bit. It’s the law.

Snowberry Moquito. It has a certain ring.

I have a very serious name, but my parents gave me a very silly nickname. That nickname, which accompanied me throughout school, probably influenced me to be a lot sillier than I might normally have been. For that, I am grateful, but I also recognize the difficulties that name presented.

@gailcalled No, it’s not Snowberry Mosquito, now it’s Snowberry Mosquito Beanhead.

and you misspelled Mosquito. What were you thinking?

I kind of liked Moquito. It has a pretty ring to it.

edIt: Mosquito: I am in rehab for a total knee replacement, 30 minutes away from pain meds., the OT interrupted me to take me for a shower, and the dog ate my homework.

How about Snowberry Mojito Beanhead?

@janbb Unfortunately it’s too late. I got my name changed for free last year, with no advance warning on how to spell it or fix it so it’s more livable. Now if I want to change it, I’ll have to pay big money and go to court to do it. And I’ll still have to have 3 names, which is what I didn’t want in the first place.

I’ll be getting my name changed “for free” in a few months too.

Frodo Bagginsmor, like Kristin Lavransdatter.

I’ve always been fond of this name:

Shorty Highpockets Jupiter Geezershorts Senior.

I had a roommate who named her Chihuahua that. It’s an awesome name. LOL

I love my first name. It’s a typically male name where the final “y” is replaced by an “i,” and my mother told me her inspiration came from the Toni perms that were popular many decades ago. As a youngster, I hated it because it made me different from the other children. “Different” was tortuous to me, as I simply wanted to fade into the background.

My maiden middle name was my maternal grandparents’ surname, again causing me anguish as a child. Much too different from the norm.

As a trio, my first, middle and last names had a great cadence to them, something I came to appreciate later in life.

I did take my husband’s last name, and I began using my maiden surname as my middle name. The cadence is now a bit odd, but pleasing to me, nonetheless.

I actually believe that having a traditional male name got me through the front door for some job interviews that I might not have gotten otherwise.

Great question, and I’m enjoying reading the responses!

Jan Baggins – I like the sound of that! (It would be hilarious if post-divorce I took my dog’s last name.)

^^ I think taking your dog’s last name makes sense. They often provide a loyalty that is rare in humans. And “Jan Baggins” does have a nice ring to it!

My name is my name. Simple as that. It is what I am called, and that is all I feel about it. My first name is named after a song, and my middle name is a model my dad liked at the time.

@Janbb: Milo here: Frodo just PM’d me and said he expected and assumed he’d be the patriarch. Note that Frodo Baggins is now on the deed to your houses, your car, any outstanding loans, and all expected inheritances. You are the chattel.

@gailcalled Yeay – I kinda got that message already. Is Milo Frodo’s legal counsel?

Milo here: Yes. Hasn’t the first bill arrived yet? (Family discount, of course.)

Kind of- ‘April’ sounds innocent and fresh, means re-birth, but I prefer to be a lightning rod for change in my life. I could use a little more shazam in my name, but mom’s a hippie, what can I say.

Frodo here: I trust that Milo will accept dog poop in payment.

Protector of the Kingdom for my first name
. . and surname translates to Wild Boar.

Name is ok.

Up to now, I have been:
Jeans son
our John
Kays husband
Brans dad
Morgans dad
&
Sophies Granddad

I guess I still am it is just that now I have a name as well

My name is very important to me, as it should be considering I chose it myself. My chosen first name and middle name both have family links. My first name means “famous warrior” but that’s not why I picked it.

My first name is very common and my surname very unusual and though the spelling is simple and obvious no one ever gets it right, ever. My surname originates in a very specific glen in Scotland, now an empty wilderness. Through Facebook I have discovered many families and individuals scattered throughout the world who share my name. When these people trace their family roots, as many do, they inevitably find it leads back to a town or village within twenty or thirty miles of this desolate glen.

My first name (which you all know), I can take or leave. It’s not that important to me, in fact, I prefer it when people shorten it to Lee/Lea/Leigh. My surname, however, is very important to me and one I would like to keep. My boyfriend knows that if we were to marry, I would not take on his name.

My first name is the Barbara or Nancy of this generation. IIRC it’s actually used as an example in the Freakonomics chapter on names, when they talk about widespread naming trends.

They say the big name trend is that rich people will latch onto a name, and a few years later it catches on in the mainstream. When the book came out a few years ago, they predicted that the next trend in girls names would be old-fashioned names like Ava, Sophia, and Olivia. So if they are right, there should be a lot of babies with those names right now.

My name is also often used for strippers, porn stars, and flaky/ditzy characters on television. This name shows up in court TV all the time. Any time a bunch of morons are arguing over petty vandalism or pet sitting or stolen electronics, guaranteed, one of them will have that name.

Le sigh. My last name is really cool and unique, though. Outside of my immediate family, I’ve never heard of another person who has it. If I ever got married, I’d seriously consider having the dude take my last name; that’s how rare it is.

I’m very much enjoying the answers here.

I forgot to mention that my husband calls me all sorts of names. He adds a new nickname every so often. Most of them have nothing to do with my real name, a few do, including calling me by my middle name every so often. My mom sometimes would call me J. Leslie in a public place because there was always so many girls with my first name. She wanted Leslie for my first name anyway, which is part of the reason I kept it, rather than keeping my maiden name. Also, I always say I married my mother, so my husband sometimes using my middle name is just another bazarro thing he does like my mom.

@snowberry How can you be forced to have a middle name? I don’t get it. My husband doesn’t have a middle name. I guess he could use his mom’s surname (which in his country of birth is his second last name, but he has never used it in America). What state are you in?

My name is translated as “morning star” in one language and is also a god in hinduism. * I love that her first name is Janice. :) *

@JLeslie Hey, I don’t get it either. But when I was called into jury duty last week I tried to challenge it with the judge at the time. It is a law enacted by the state legislature. I’m stuck with it.

Apparently it’s to help with identity theft. No clue how that actually will help, but that’s their story and they’re stickin’ to it.

Sigh. I was given my dad’s last name at birth. At age 8, my stepdad adopted me and I was convinced to take his last name. My mom and that guy divorced when I was 12… So when my son was born and his dad disappeared, I had to choose- and neither name I had carried was suitable, nor was his sperm donor’s name. I decided to give my son my maternal grandfather’s last name and, because he was my hero, I took it on as my own.

7 years later, I married and was reluctantly convinced to change it “for convenience’s sake.” I long regretted it.

While I was married, I reconciled with my birth father.
When I divorced, I was ready to drop my married name but both sets of parents heckled me about taking their last name back. It wasn’t a pleasant decision- I felt that the last names I did truly care about had become a point of contention between my parents- if I took one, the other would be livid. It was ridiculous. It was stressful but in the end, I decided to take both of their last names.

Then… 15 months later I married an amazing guy- the kind of guy I had hoped to find but never believed would really exist. Ok… The name game again…

It took me several months to make a final decision. I thought about my identity—which really is centered around my first name among my friends. I thought about continuity in my writing career, but could benefit from a more unique last name. Thought about the value of a surname, and after all these changes… What really matters to me?

I ultimately decided to take his last name. What decided it for me? Carrying the weight of my parents 39 year old battle in my last names got old. I need a future, not the past.

How important is my surname? Not too important at this time- but that can be acquired. My first and middle? Very. It’s firmly built into my identity. It’s the name that favorite grandpa picked for me.

@linguaphile Your story reminds me of my SIL, even though it is quite a different story. I’m thinking the OP might like what happened with her, so I’ll tell it. Before I do, I had a coworker at one point who was engaged to a guy who didn’t have a great last name and hers was really nice. They seriously considered using hers, because his was from his stepfather who was no longer married to his mom, and the stepfather’s name had been shortened a generation back when the family came to America. So, it was like her fiances name had no real roots. In the end they did use his name though, she took it on as well.

My SIL changed her surname when she got married, which she never really wanted to do. In her country it is customary to keep your maiden name and add de Lastname. In America she had dropped her maiden name altogether. Maybe since she never had a middle name, she didn’t think to move her maiden name to the middle, I’m not sure.

When she divorced her husband she had the easy opportunity to go back to her maiden name, and I regret advising her to keep her married name. I knew she never had wanted to change her name in the first place. I still told her that having a dfferent name than her kids can be a hassle (which is true) and her lawyer had advised her the same thing. Maybe other people told her that also? She went through the divorce and kept her married name. I really regret not supporting her to go back to her maiden name.

When she married for a second time I thought for sure she would go back to her maiden name. Her children were getting older and if she took on her new hisband’s name it would not be the same as her kids, so why not just go back to her maiden name that she has always wanted. I was shocked to find out she took on her second husband’s name. When I looked at her with surprise, she said with almost a role of the eyes, “it mattered to him, he really wanted me to take his last name.” They are getting divorced now. My guess is she will finally go back to her maiden name. We’ll see.