How does a parent talk to their high-school-aged children about stress?

MY parents never used the word “stress.” My sibs and I were dream children as far as they were concerned…lots of bragging rights…so it never came up directly.

I think that the best way to talk to your daughters is to listen and to help them made the decisions that help them.

My folks tended to lecture. It made having a conversation difficult. I never dared share any important emotional information about me with them. I used my friends as therapists, and vice versa.

Maybe just let them know you’re there for them if they feel stressed out or want to talk. I used friends when I was growing up too because I didn’t have anywhere else to turn. Give them a good foundation and let them make their own decisions. People are pretty tough, we usually come through okay.

My guess is that they already know what stress is and they seem to be handling it well. Not sure why a talk about it would be necessary unless they came to you about it first.

My parents were terrible at speaking to me about stress. I was constantly on edge in high school trying to combat my emotional wars against acquaintances and my mental war against exams and essays, not to mention the stress from negotiating my identity with the rest of the world. Although my parents could see that I was stressed and in pain, they didn’t know how to talk to me about it. If I was worried about someone else’s well-being, all they knew was to tell me that I can’t do anything about it and that I had to worry about myself. If I was worried about my future, they would tell me not to worry about it now.

As for my significant other, it was always “Stress? Let me tell you about stress, my friend. I’ve been awake since 3AM and just got out of work at 5PM…. blah blah.”

I think one of the important things is to remember how much high school sticks students into a bubble. It doesn’t feel like life can get more stressful when your entire life is high school. Everything might feel of inherent, immediate importance (even when some of those things, well, aren’t.

I think your daughters sound as though they are handling it well. When you see a crack though, try and talk to them. Ask how they are feeling. Let them dump out anything they might be holding in. Let them talk about their stress and acknowledge it. Maybe suggest a small break, something you can do together.

Talking about stress, or at least beginning a conversation about it is fairly simple because by the time they are in high school it is a subject they are very familiar with. Just be sure that you have information on stress “reduction”, now that is what they need to know about.
me, I sometimes use sex for stress reduction but you may not want to mention that

I have one who is a perfectionist, and she stresses herself out a lot. For her, I try to remind her that the world will not end if things are not ‘just so’. That sometimes you need to just wash your hands (read: mind) of something for a bit, and take a mental health break, before jumping back in to tackle the task at hand. I encourage her to lose herself in something mindless for a while, or to get up and walk around a bit…anything to break her cycle.

I have another who has chronic anxiety/panic attacks. For her, the approach was different, and initially focused more on calming her during crisis mode. We also try to prepare her for situations that are likely to bring on the panic, in advance. Giving her tools with which to keep herself calm, and self-soothe. Therapy and medication helped her immensely. Today, she is med-free and doing very well.

My other child is very mellow, for the most part, and doesn’t get stressed often. When she does, we just talk and cuddle. She’s pretty insightful, and is usually able to see the bigger picture.

In high school, particularly, I talk(ed) about how important things seem to be contrasted with the reality of life after high school. So much of it is just temporary angst!

I guess for me I didn’t ever talk to my parents about being stressed. Sometimes they could see it in me and in turn were kinder to me and easier on me. I think my mom would even bake more, so I had something nice to come home to.

My mom had special fam nights to talk, popcorn & tea, it really helped me to just talk it out & get her input.

We used the term slowing down.