Do you think it's impolite for someone to highly customize a dinner entree at a fine dining restaraunt?

I disagree. I am always customizing my meals, maybe not to a ridiculous extent, but if I am paying for a nice meal I see nothing wrong with asking that my food be prepared to my liking.
Asking that something be added, taken away, more of, less of, and requesting something extra etc. is within reasonable bounds IMO.
Obviously I am not going to go to a seafood establishment and ask for lasagne. lol

Knowing the boundaries is key here. There are certainly food allergies and personal tastes to consider, but one should not completely undo the creation of the executive chef in a fine dining establishment. I can see where the “artist” would be offended.

Asking for modifications because of dietary restrictions or even dislike of certain ingredients, is fine. But it can easily turn into an ego exercise: a chance to throw your weight around because you’re paying lots of money to have people cater to your whims.

Taking part in an artistic event requires a certain element of surrender on the part of the “audience”. There’s a tacit agreement to let the artist have their way, so that they can introduce you to their vision. You benefit by experiencing a perspective other than your own. If you’re calling all the shots, then the artist is reduced to the role of a contractor, executing your vision. That may be an ego trip for the patron, but it’s not what fine dining is supposed to be about.

To a real chef their food is like an art. Image the audacity of a patron in an art gallery who told the artist: “I’ll by this one, but I want a purple triangle in the corner there and cover that woman’s head with a gorilla mask.”

Food allergies are a different subject.

I agree with the artistic expression of the chef, but modest modifications should be expected when catering to the individual patron.

If it’s the main ingredient, it should be left alone. And asking for something to be left out, like asking for no potatoes or “don’t add the cashew sauce” seems okay.

But don’t ask for peanut sauce instead, or try to change what the main ingredient is.

I think that the chefs egos are getting in the way. They are forgetting the purpose of restaurants.

Yeah, definitely ego issues. My favorite chef goes out of his way to treat us special. We’ve also gone there a lot. So we both make out.

I tend to agree with the chefs, I don’t make changes and I do think people who have 15 changes to every dish are super annoying.

15 changes would be out of line. I’m thinking minor things. Butterflying a steak, no sour cream on the potato, etc.

@Adirondackwannabe My husband sometimes embarassed me with his pickiness, so we had a talk about it and he agreed that at restaurants, it takes more time to explain than to pick out capers or green onions – lol

@KNOWITALL Agreed. That is pretty picky though. :)

I agree with @Adirondackwannabe. I think you should just offer to make out with the chef pretty kinky there @AW. That should take care of it.

Haha….“would you like to taste my cupcakes?” lol

@Cupcake Smartass. Dave’s not my type.

I’d give a chef a taste of my cupcakes for a custom entree at a fine restaurant.

I’m not touching that one.

So I’ve been thinking this over. I don’t necessarily think it’s impolite to ask. If the restaurant doesn’t want to oblige, they can say no. Or they can impose a limit on substitutions/requests. Food allergies and sensitivities are becoming more of an issue. Some people are picky. And even though the chefs are probably food geniuses, if the patron will not appreciate the meal due to the ingredients… then the chef just needs to get their ego out of the way.

I have absolutely no problem paying more for substitutions. It is an inconvenience and for my personal taste only. I try to be very moderate, though. For example, if I am subbing out a sauce or side vegetable, I will not tell them that I don’t like onions on my salad… I’ll just pull them off.

@Cupcake I agree, it is the chefs ego not the customers in question. haha

I go to some restaurants knowing the have specials “off menu”, that is not listed.
Like an Italian restaurant on the seashore asking for Shrimp Scampi (at this place its comes with lobster pieces, scallops and clams in garlic sauce.)

For me it depends on the restaurant. There are some I visit regularly where I know the chefs are happy to make changes for me. I’m dairy-intolerant, so desserts can be difficult. At a restaurant I’m not familiar with I would study the menu carefully and choose something that suits my requirements already, making only minor changes if necessary. Leaving off cream/sour cream is my usual one.

If a meal is particularly good I send compliments to the chef and ask for the recipe.

I agree with the chefs. It is the height of bad taste and arrogance to go to a restaurant and tell the chef how to prepare a meal unless he/she invites you to. If you’re such a demanding gourmet, you should have a home kitchen to match your epicurean needs. If you don’t, too bad. People who do this are showing off at the expense of others and I, for one, would never be seen in public with them again. I would bet real money that they are the type who mistreat the wait staff as well. Toxic personalities. They are embarrassing to be with.

Clarification: I’m not talking about just wanting your porterhouse medium rare, or even Pittsburg style. I’m talking about people who order completely off the menu, dictate how to prepare the sauce which is not on the menu, etc. Like the brunch scene with Danny DeVito and Gene Hackman (in neck brace) at the high-end Beverly Hills Restaurant in Get Shorty. Great comedy, btw.

When we went out to a fine restaurant for the first time in years, my Mother In Law embarrassed me by telling the waiter exactly what she wanted and didn’t want on her plate. It seems that now that Dad has passed on, she has decided to take his place as the most obnoxious person in the group.

I didn’t say anything, but she felt a need to explain that for $50 per plate, she had a right to get it her way.

I don’t see a problem with it really, although when I go out to eat to some fancy place, it’s to try new foods and discover experiences, so I have no desire to modify anything.

@Symbeline Yeah, how do we experiment by not trying something new?

@Adirondackwannabe Yeah and it also has to be mentioned, some places do offer different customizations to meals. This place I sometimes go to in the mornings to eat, they give you a choice of either vegetables or fruits to go with your breakfast. You can very well have both the veggies and fruits, if you want.

If you need to be very particular about what you eat, call ahead and see if the place can individualize the plate for you. If not, go elsewhere. Some places can do that; others, cannot or choose not to. If you don’t like anything that is offered, go elsewhere. It’s the same with any place that offers something for sale. If it’s clothes, you can get it altered at a considerable price, but you can’t ask them to change the color, fabric, buttons etc. You look some place else.

Craft restaurants with a highly trained Chef, be careful in making highly customized demands. As stated above, this is their art and generally don’t want to substitute an ingredient for fear of changing the dish completely. It is my opinion that if a dish has something you don’t prefer, order something else entirely.