Do any of you have problems with your teenage daughter seeing a mature man?

The problem would be all fucking his, because i’d beat a huge hole in his face.

The more you say don’t, the more she will.

@ucme Why would you just jump on the man? Is it his fault that the girl is in love with him…don’t think so. I’m not saying that he is right for seeing her, but why does society always look to burn the man for issues like this and not pay attention to the girl?

@Eggie It’s hypothetical anyway, my daughter is just 14, but sheer instinct would, I imagine, kick in…his face mostly.

If the man is over 18, and they weren’t dating before he turned 18 (such as a 16 year old girl and a 17 year old boy who then turns 18) then he knows the law and he knows better not to get involved with the girl, even if she has a mad crush on him. By the way you’ve worded your question, I’m guessing that the girl is considerably younger and the dude is maybe well in to his 20’s. Am I correct? If that’t the case, it’s clearly a case of statutory rape and it’s just gross that an “mature” adult man would have much in common with a teenaged girl. If he does, then there’s something wrong with him, developmentally.

Girls develop crushes on older men all the time, teachers, coaches, actors, but that doesn’t mean that those crushes should turn into relationships. Most men know better than to get themselves into a situation like that.

It is best not to forbid them to see one another as that increases the attachment. Just have them be around the family.

I never had “a problem” with this, but after she was grown to young womanhood, graduated from college but still not quite settled on her current course of business ownership and management (in her early 20s), my daughter was involved with a “significantly older” man. He wasn’t my age, but he could have been a much younger brother, apparently.

I’ve never met him. She told me about him (she lives a thousand miles away, so had she not told me, I may never have discovered the fact, but she’s open with me and doesn’t hide much), and she also told me that he’s apparently as rich as Croesus.

She got bored with him and left – on good terms – but on her terms. I had never been so proud of her as when she also told me that.

I wasn’t a teenager, but at 20 years of age I dated a guy that was 42.
My family hated it. I’m not really sure if it was his age, his suspected mafia ties, or a combination of the two.

If she was a teenager then I’d have to question his judgment and his morals. But anything is possible I guess.

Perhaps if someone explained the law regarding statutory rape and the penalties it carries to him; along with the strongly worded suggestion (threat) that it would be prudent for him to break off the relationship before someone in authority found out he might wise up.

My best friend in high school was in a FWB (oh, how I hate that term) situation with a 33-year-old guy when she was 17. I thought it was stupid and disgusting. He quite obviously was only interested in scoring and she was (and still is) desperate for attention from any man that’s willing to give it to her. The worst part was that he was fat, balding, and an alcoholic. Gross.

I’m actually most attracted to men about 20 years my senior (between 40 and 50), but I’ve never been in a relationship with an older man. I know that, even now at 23, I wouldn’t have much in common with a man that much older. I never would’ve pursued an older guy as a teen. Pedophiles don’t do much for me.

I’d have a major problem if my minor daughter was dating an adult male. Even if she was 16 and he was 19. Okay, three years isn’t a big difference when you’re both adults, but the world of a 16-year-old is vastly different from that of a 19-year-old. My question would be what’s wrong with him that he can’t land a girl his own age and he has to prey on children instead.

@livelaughlove21 Indeed.

My daughter is 17 and her boyfriend is 19. Just the way I want it. If she dated someone older than about 23 I’d have serious problem with it.

I wonder how answers here would change if this story was about a teenage boy and a mature woman.

I know a woman who married a guy like that. She was a pedophile, and gave him a lot of issues he’s never recovered from. He never received any sort of treatment, and she was never prosecuted that I know of.

I doubt it would, @RealEyesRealizeRealLies. I know it wouldn’t change my answer.

I’m just saying, I know if a few good places to hide a body.

Of course, I’m in Florida, so I could very easily get away with murdering the person I catch raping my teenager.

That said, I doubt much more than a pointed threat would be necessary.

I think it would depend on the exact ages and the situation. None of my children are dating, so it’s really hard to speculate. I don’t mind there being some difference in age (like 16 and 19), but I think a larger age difference (like 16 and 30) would bother me (whether it’s one of my sons or my daughter). I would be upset if they were the younger person, and if they were the older person in that situation. I really hope we never have to find out what we would do in either situation.

I would. I guess the severity of my upset would be based upon her age and his age. If she were 18 and he were 22 it would be different than if she were 16 and he were 30.

Can you clarify the ages of those involved, @Eggie?

She is 16 and he is 28

My daughter eloped with a man twice her age when she turned 18. She regreted it 5 years and two kids later. Just sayin’.

She’s not of age to consent. He must be nuts or something.

@Eggie He sounds like a Pedophile. What would a “normal” 28 year old man have in common with a 16 year old kid. He wants her for sex.

At her age it is unacceptable.

I say that in full knowledge that my own relationship has a wider age difference.

There is a world of difference between a 16 year old and a 20 year old these days. When she is twenty, and she chooses to date a 32 year old, I wouldn’t worry. At 16 she is too easily manipulated.

16 and 28 is too large of a difference, IMHO, at that age. I agree with @Kardamom that he just wants her for sex, and probably to brag to his friends.

If I were her parents, I would be talking to the cops about it.