(NSFW) How can I overcome this addiction?

You might want to go to the doctor and have some basic tests done like check your testosterone level. Does your beard grow in quickly? Is it difficult for you to build muscle? Once you rule out low testosterone then a sex therapist might help.

It is probably not just the result of your poor performance, it is probably the cause.

Read previous answers to this same question you have posted in the past.

First, disregard your performance issue, because it is ancillary to your primary problem and the two may or may not have a causal relationship. It would be better to focus only on one problem and allow the harmony that comes from remedying it to help resolve the other.

Second, put your effort into observing the whole phenomena. Observe your state before you are triggered. Observe your state when you are triggered. Observe your state when you are acting out your addictive behavior. Observe your state immediately afterwards. Observe your state later when your high has fallen away. Don’t make judgements and don’t try to fix anything. Only try to see clearly what these experiences and behaviors are. Return to observing as often as possible until the subtlety of your behaviors and experiences begin to appear. An analogy might be to keep watching the ball (baseball, tennis ball, whatever) until you can discern the spin and subtle curve of the ball.

Third, mediate on the question, “What would make my life meaningful?” or “What would make my life enjoyable?” Don’t try to answer the question, just hold the question in your mind. Hold the question in your mind until answers appear with no effort on your part.

It takes some effort to get into the practice of observing, and it will probably uncomfortable or difficult at first. Just do what you can, and naturally your habit of observing will become easier and easier. As you go deeper into your observation and your meditation on the question, your addictive behavior will naturally start to fall away.

You don’t need to gather any more information. Just apply this and trust it will work.

@wildpotato Sorry guys, didn’t know I asked this already…..

@Eggie Can you masterbate without the porn? That might be a good start. I still think you should get your testosterone tested, but I find guys very into porn need so much visual stimulation they get trained to perform only if it is there. I think that is a big problem. Men are visual in general, and the porn just feeds on that and it is like a viscious cycle.

1 2 3 4 5 – you mention your masturbation theory about halfway down in that last one. You have been told numerous times that this idea of yours that “too much” jacking off affects sexual performance is nonsense. Do you have any articles or studies you have used to come to this conclusion you seem to hold so firmly? And can you link me to them, or at least reference them?

You have also been told many times that you should see a sex therapist or a doctor. You mentioned in one thread that you had seen a doc who diagnosed you with an ED issue. So – if you have a medical condition that causes your ED, then there is your answer.

It’s not an addiction. It is simply a bad habit. Addiction involves brain receptors. Your bad habit involves only repeating a behavior over and over until you think it is an institution.
Get serious. Establish a different pattern of behavior, in contrast to the one that got you here. The first one was easy enough. Do another one.
After that, stop using the word performance. Sounds like a stage actor. Wrong way to look at it.

Thank you again guys. Sorry about the repetiveness of the question, its just that this is a really embarassing prob for me and fluther was the only place I culd vent it out. I wont be asking about this anymore and I wont be asking questions over and over in the future. feeling stupid

Don’t feel stupid. Sometimes I can’t remember if I have asked questions and it is understandable that this problem is an ongoing worry.

@Eggie Don’t feel stupid, it’s cool to vent here. I just wanted to point out that you don’t seem to have taken in the suggestions Flutherites have given in the past. We need to make progress in discussions, not just endlessly debate your assertion to apparently no effect on you, the OP.

So I really do want to know – why is it that you believe that masturbation has anything to do with ED? How did you first get this idea? Have you done any research to confirm or deny this theory, beyond asking Fluther? Did you ever ask that doctor you saw about it?

Well, yes I have done research on the topic and there is some research that suggests that masturbation well over masturbation could be the cause of ED. Also in my personal experience, I tried abstaining from it whilst I was with a girlfriend of mine some time ago, and I noticed a considerable difference in my performance. She initially in the early part of our relationship complained about the ED, but when I had sex with her after I tried abstaining from it..about 2 or 3 weeks, she said that my semen load was plentiful and she asked if I was on some sort of pill or something because I lasted longer. In another instance with me abstaining from the masturbation, I even made her orgasm, but I believe it had to do with the position of where she was having sex with me (she was on top) and also the oral I gave to her before as well. She again told me after that experience, that I lasted really long and that I usually do not last as long. I really have to admit though, that abstaining from masturbation, even though it seems to help the situation, is the most toughest challenge in my life, and when I think about it in every instance where I fell short with a girl I had sex with, I masturbated before…not just before, but within a short period of the time we had sex.

In my experience. it doesn’t make much sense that a guy would last longer if he hadn’t had sex – of any kind – recently than if he had. Perhaps you need to talk to a doctor.