Is my friend bullying me?

She’s jealous and trying out new things, new friends, new persona’s, it’s normal. If she’s being nasty to you, don’t give her any attention or any feedback at all. Just tell her to hang with her new friends and when she decides to be a real friend to you again, you’ll be there for her. Then ignore her.

Honey, I dressed all in black and wore oriental shoes and thought I was a kung fu master sophomore year, then went prep junior, then went party senior year. Exploring new stuff is good in high school, but it can also go bad quickly.

Just try to remember that she was your friend once, she’s jealous so she still cares about you, but don’t feed in to the negativity. Of all things hippy-wannabe’s should understand, it’s that. And don’t do drugs, or at least wait until college when you’re mind and body are more developed!! :)

Bullying only applies to a physical challenge. Everything else is bad manners
Since you got slapped, that is a physical challenge.
In that case…
If you are able to defend yourself, you should, and if you do not, that is immoral.
If you are incapable of defending yourself, and you do not, it is rational. Unless you are sacrificing your highest values. Who would want to exist after giving up their highest values (children, spouse, SO, honor, reputation etc)? Outside of that, you should walk away, but in doing so, you will always be a potential victim.
If you are only sacrificing some high school popularity contest, forget it, it is not worth the trouble in the long run.

Only to present an example. My dad was in the service and we returned to the US in time for me to go to 7th grade. I got picked on by some asshole, and I broke his nose. Nobody, ever, for the rest of my school career, fucked with me again. It is not that complicated. The basic truths of nature, existence, and society never change. All of the rules, laws, customs, expectations etc will not change human nature.

@Feta A loser for NOT smoking pot? That’s truly funny, and this coming from a guy who smoked his share of MJ back in the wild 60s and 70s.

@josie kids get arrested and expelled for breaking the noses of bullies these days.

I wouldn’t call what she is doing ‘bullying’, since there doesn’t seem to be any system to it. I can’t even really call it harassment, since it appears you provoking her a little, when you could just as easily choose not to engage with her at all.

It’s school. Go to class, eat your lunch. There’s probably over a thousand people in the hallways between classes. Cut your loses with this chick and find someone else to hang out with.

And don’t spend all your time with your new friend talking about the other girl. No one likes someone hung up on their ex.

She’s a smotherer, don’t ever engage in a pillow fight with her.

The idea that it’s not bullying unless it’s physical is ridiculous. Attacking someone with words can be just as harmful as fists. Bullying doesn’t necessarily need to follow a specific system either.

Those things aside, I wouldn’t call this bullying. Calling you a loser and making fun of you, I suppose, could be labeled as bullying, but at your age I’d just call it being a mean girl. Girls in high school are mean to each other. You just need to ignore her and focus on better friends. Be happy that you have other friends. Things could be worse.

My senior year of high school, I had been best friends with a girl since sophomore year and we sat together at lunch with a group of other people we were friends with. We had what I’d call an on-again-off-again friendship. We’d be inseperable one day and not speaking the next, usually because I would call her on her bullshit and she wouldn’t like it. That is, until prom. She got stood up by her date and ended up going with a group of us, mostly couples, including me and my now-husband. I thought things were going fine and I was the only one in our group to make sure she wasn’t standing around alone with no one to talk to. Josh and I left a little early and then I found out that this girl was mad at me because Josh and I were “all over each other” and we left her alone (completely untrue). I ended up coming down with mono that next week and missed an entire week of school. She had deleted me off MySpace (this was 2008) and was telling everyone in our group and in our classes her side of what happened. She even wrote to someone on MySpace that everyone hated me now because they knew what I did and I was probably scared to come to school because I had no friends. Well, she did turn everyone against me and I did finish out the year with no friends. She remained friends with the ones that actually did leave her alone at prom though. For some reason, I contacted her during my freshman year of college and we made up. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding that year and I just chalked it up to the past being the past and us being stupid high school girls back then. We were friends again up until around 3 weeks ago when she got mad at me because I was honest with her about how she was acting over some guy she doesn’t even know. She hasn’t spoken to me since. You think I would’ve learned my lesson with her the first time. I don’t know if the silent treatment will end, but I’m not too sure I want to make up this time. High school is over, and I have no use for stupid drama like this.

So far these could still be labeled as isolated incidents and stupid drama. If this behavior of hers starts to take over your life, if she starts making threats, and spreading gossip in school or online to the point that you dread going to school, yes, it’s bullying and it’s against the law.

You could help yourself by starting a diary (including date and time) of what she does, but for heavens sake don’t let the kids at school know what you’re doing! Keep it current, and write everything she does to hurt you down, but without any drama of your own. This will come in very handy if you need to take the problem to the authorities at school.

I would call that teenage stupidity, not bullying. It still sucks, and I’m sorry you’re having to deal with it.

@josie Bullying is not solely a physical thing.

How am I provoking her? I don’t engage with her…she tries to talk to me but she usually says something rude so I just ignore her.
I feel like responding would be engaging her.

She acts like she’s hurt that I hang out with my new friend more than her, but she practically ditched me sophomore year for her pothead friends. I didn’t really have any friends for a good 4 months before I met my new friend and she didn’t care then. It’s like she’d rather me be completely alone and desperate to talk to her than have other friends.

And she acts like it’s weird that I hang out with my new friend so much…when her and her pothead friend are inseparable. They sleep at each others houses pretty much every night. Even school nights.

I went over to her pothead friends house once and she’s so accustomed to being there that she knows where everything is in the kitchen and is comfortable enough to call her friends mom “mom”.

I think that’s weird but I never said anything. But it’s so weird to her that me and my friend write letters.

I kinda know it’s not bullying…but I just don’t know why she’s doing it. She treats me like trash. She won’t talk to me for days but she always asks to copy my work. I’ve only said “no” twice because she usually takes it off my desk before I can say anything.

One of the times I didn’t let her copy she referred to me as “asshole” for the rest of the week.

I don’t get why she treats me like this and only me. She would never act like this to the pothead friend.

She’s jealous of you because your life has more quality than hers does. If she can make you feel small, she will feel bigger. Put her out of your life in every way possible, and stop making her actions mean anything to you.