NSFW: David Sedaris wrote about an uncomfortable experience he had with a turd. Will you please tell us an uncomfortable and embarrassing situation you've had?

your link stinks
mine does too, but for a different reason. By which I mean poo.

Piss….I hate it when I fuck up a link. Thanks!

That whole book is amazing! I love him. Every time I poop I have this fear, especially if I’m at a friends house. I used to clog toilets so frequently that I began to hold it in instead of letting it out, causing years of bowel irregularities. I’m not kidding. An overflowing toilet is my second largest fear I think, and it has happened to me so many times! Now my bowels are back on track, but I’ve had many a time where I was plunging longer than anyone should have to, or breaking up the turd with some inanimate object I then had to throw away. Sigh.

My brother has a funny story about such.

My brother Dave is a big guy. He is also a meat eater.
When he took a dump at work, he knew he had relieved himself of something gargantuan. Without wiping, he examined the turd, which had no chance of flushing, since it crossed the bowl and was well anchored on both sides of the porcelain.
He simply moved to the other stall, cleaned himself, then returned to the specimen, and put his business card on top of it.
At work, he became an instant legend.

@filmfann LMAO. I came back to see @Sueanne_Tremendous’ turd tale but yours was worth the trip all by itself.

I recommend being on a schedule. If possible, go to the bathroom in the morning, after a cup of tea or coffee. Go and then flush, wipe and then flush, to reduce any chance of an issue. Then take a shower. Clean for the day! Also, you have the privacy and comfort of your own home.

@filmfann Incredible turd tale!

@jca That’s just how I do it. I take my shower after the bathroom visit too. (after an appropriate cooling off period)
I do my best to avoid public toilets. There is nothing as comfortable as the home pot.
My camping trips are limited to 2 days because that’s how long I can hold it.