Fiance or not?

Stick by your instincts, it’s a package deal. He needs to demonstrate long term commitment to your well being (and the well being of any child) by marrying you.

You have to live your life the way you want to live it.

This could be the opening salvo of a major confrontation. While I would probably not make any extreme decisions at this point (and having a baby is an extreme decision in my book) I would begin questioning the relationship.

That would be a deal breaker for me.

That’s total bs. He doesn’t want to marry you “anymore”? How long have you been together?
He sounds pretty immature.
This is where you need to stick to your guns. You don’t want to have a baby with him if you’re not married to him. Good for you! I think that’s wonderful.
Maybe he just isn’t the right man for you.
I’m not a big fan of giving people ultimatums, but in this case I think it might be a good idea.

Edit:
I just realized you are the one that was asking about your boyfriends shady behavior the other day.
You need to lose this guy. I shudder to think what he’d be like if you were married.
He’s not worth the stress he causes in your life.

I would not have a baby with someone unless there was a permanent commitment – whether it was a formal marriage or not.

This sounds like an incredibly immature position. Goodness, could he feel that he no longer wants to be a father after the baby comes (this requires no response)? Please give all the weight to your own feelings—the fact that you question this speaks volumes to me. Thank you for questioning it!

Goodness, could he feel that he no longer wants to be a father after the baby comes (this requires no response)?

@picante Good point!

Uh, no…

This is the same boyfriend that is using your car and leaving you home alone (the home you are paying for) while he visits his friends per your last question.
This is not a good relationship. I would ask him to leave to give yourself space. If you want to continue dating while he lives elsewhere, then that would be up to you. I’m betting he won’t want to after you are no longer supplying him a place to live.
It sounds like he is just trying to find a way to stay tied to you without having to marry you.

Why buy the orchard when you can get the oranges for free and have the juice too? IMO (which most care not for) he seems to want you around to carry on his seed and provide the jollies in the mean time. He want to rent permanently but he is not interested in buying.

Can this be a real question?

Dump him.

A baby is a life time commitment. It’s going to need 18 years at a minimum, and probably more of your support. And he doesn’t want to get married but he wants a baby? Hey it’s your life and you have to make the calls, but I know what my decision would be and it wouldn’t take me than a second to decide.

I raise my hand to dump the guy, maybe even in the nearest lake with a bucket of cement tied around his neck; lolol

I don’t think either of you should reproduce until you get a little smarter about what marriage and baby means.

Please hold out for someone who’s mature, responsible, and caring enough to marry you before starting a family, and who wants his children to be born and raised by parents in a stable relationship. Please.

Yes, marriages often end by death, divorce, or abandonment, and partners become single parents. Nobody can foresee the future. But, why put yourself, deliberately and intentionally, in a difficult situation?

Wait – this is the guy who wants to take your car and visit friends and leave you home? What a perfect set up for him. He can’t afford his own car? Of course he wants you together with you stuck home with a baby. How perfect so he can go out and do his thing in your car, and live in your house. I would dump him so fast his head would spin.

It is a gift he won’t marry you. Take the hint, please run the other direction. Have your friends and family help you.