Can you complete this "Walk into a bar..." joke?

But then they walk out again because no one was willing to pay.

…with a horse, barman says they can stay if they promise to behave, but the horse must leave because “neigh sayers” aren’t welcome.

And the bartender turns to them and says, “what, is this some kind of joke? Where’s the rabbi and the priest?”

A senator and a lobbyist walk into a bar.
The senator says I’ll have a top shelf martini if my lobbyist friend’s buying.
The lobbyist says I’ll have a top shelf whiskey and water.
The bartender says, you got it boys, that’s $30 for both.
The lobbyist points to the working man in the back playing pool and says, that guys buyin our drinks.
HARDY-HAR-HAR. True story.

http://thehill.com/business-a-lobbying/264987-2012-top-lobbyists

and the politician proceeds to get shitfaced. After drinking the bar empty, the lobbyist slides a million dollar cheque towards the politician and tells him not pay the bill.
Barely conscious, the politician asks why, and the lobbyist responds: “I own the bar across the street and I hate competition.”

A senator and a lobbyist walk into a bar.
“We’ll have a bottle of your finest champagne,” says the lobbyist.
“Sorry boys, we’re shutting down for the night; last call happened five minutes ago,” replies the bartender.
The senator waved his clinched fist at the bartender. His ire was apparent in his red face and his strong tone: “There’ll be no shutdown, even if I have to raise the ceiling in this joint!”

And the Senator says to the lobbyist, “Now that we’ve defunded the House of Representatives, we can finally get something done.”

A Senator and a lobbyist walk into a bar. They sit down, the bartender approaches.

The lobbyist says, “I wanted you to meet the guy that has been lying to us, stealing from us, and sticking it up our ass for years.

The Senator says, “Take it easy, he seems like a nice bartender”

The lobbyist says “I’m not talking to you!”

And they break their teeth.

The bar catches fire, and they both die.
No one cares.

A senator helps an injured lobbyist in to a bar. The bartender asks, “What can I getcha?”

The lobbyist throws his injured foreleg on to the bar and says, “I’m lookin’ for the fella that shot my paw.”

…and sucked each other’s dick off without actually dropping their pants.

I can see your opinion of our congress as a wholly-owned subsidiary of the wealthy and corporatists is right up there with mine in the wake of the Supreme Corporatists’ Citizens United “decision”. Great answers to all.

@ucme Amazing job, considering its not your own government you are critiquing. Not that there are a paucity of things to criticize in Parliament either.

@ETpro This is true, we’d be here all day.

…but they can’t agree on who pays the tab, so they shut down the bar.

@ucme Ha! Well said.

@WillWorkForChocolate Oh, but they DID agree on that. You and I pay the tab. Watch the video. The end is the most telling part.

I heard this last night from a guy in a wheelchair at a disabilities benefit:

A paraplegic, a quadriplegic, and a triple amputee, don’t walk into a bar…

@zenvelo Ha! Keep em rolling!