Do you have any " Humor of the day" stories to share this morning?

Let’s see: My Ex is bringing his new girlfriend and her kids to Thanksgiving and I broke a display cabinet door at work. lol

I’ll go first.

Long story short I am dealing with an moronic state worker involving a complicated claim for unclaimed assets I have in the state controllers office. It has been months and months and now, the most recent, a critical missing document I have been unable to obtain.

Yesterday, after 6 months of red tape, and this person being unable to compute some very basic information I ask” ” Sooo, what is the next step if I am unable to produce this document?”
She replies ” Then we will send you a 11301 form and a table.”
I get it but…

So, in classic Coloma form I replied ” A table?”
” So I can bang my head against it?”
“In that case, send a wall too!” lol

Ms. dry and dumb, did not find my remark amusing.

Funny or sad. I’m not sure. Like an idiot I left the door open yesterday for about an hour while I was outside working. All morning I’ve been dodging wasps (about 15 of them) and waiting for them to descend low enough to zap them with wasp spray.
I am competing with my dogs who think they will win a prize if they catch one.

@janbb, WTF with the Thanksgiving visitors?
@Coloma, some moronic state workers can’t take a joke ;-)
@Judi, yikes x 15!

I don’t have anything particularly humorous to share, but I did see a video of my granddaughter’s first steps today! She’s been walking while hanging on to the furniture for a few months—she took her first solo flight today. That’s put me in a good humor.

@picante I will be with my kids but my other relatives were invited to BIL’s with my husband’s “new family.”

@janbb Holy cow! I don’t envy the situation, but I know you’ll handle it with grace (or a sledgehammer).

I went to a spa store this morning to buy a small sump pump for my hot tub. The kid behind the counter looked at me like I was crazy and said, “Don’t you mean a “stump pump”?

Guess I stumped him when I replied that I didn’t have any stumps that needed pumping.

Today a wasp tried to fly through my window, so I sprayed it with chlorine.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room, “stump pump” sounds like the subject line in most of the messages that hit my spam filter. I’m getting a frightening visual.

To get into the building in which I live, I have to scan a card. I usually keep the card in my wallet in my back pocket. Today, I completely forgot that I had put it in a pocket in my backpack, so I rubbed my ass on the door scanner for a good ten seconds before realizing where my card was.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room Haha…that is hilarious! People are so dense sometimes!

@janbb Just slip a little ex lax into the exes drinks, they will be running along soon. lol

Waiting at the airport for an arrival, I allowed the kids to unbuckle their seat belts. My youngest grandson asked if they could play in the back of the van. The seats are being stored in the garage.

He said “I’m in the back, Grandma long pause I’m having fun” He was standing there doing absolutely nothing.

just trapped three wasps between the screen and the window. Poor Gretel got stung though.

@Judi . . . Our dog Bear won the wasp prize once. It stung him in the mouth and he sat working his jaws like he had a mouth full of peanut butter for about fifteen minutes.

He has since given up trying to catch them.

@dxs So, you were twerking the scanner?

I was talking to my ex-boss about the unusual number of people on my crew with prostate cancer (out of 14 people, 3 have admitted to it). I asked my boss if she thought there was a connection to the work we do, and p.c. She said I should go online and probe around. I told her probing was probably how the 3 guys found out they had it.

@filmfann Probing was the second way I found out.