Did depression give you courage?

I was depressed from my earliest days. Depression did not give me courage. But watching my mother die an agonizingly slow and painful death did. She always said that no matter what, you don’t give up.

In case anyone is wondering, I am not depressed now, and I have never taken medication for depression. I have mostly healed from the agony of my past. I am just wrapping up the last odds and ends now. (Yaaay!)

No. I think the root of most of my issues is that I lack self confidence, depression only made that worse for me.

Depression at its worst essentially immobilized me. I spent every moment just trying to keep living, so there wasn’t much energy left to take risks.

I think I understand the question you’re asking. I have never suffered from depression, but your question reminds me strongly of the incredibly brave posts by the author of the online cartoon Hyperbole and a Half, in which she tried to explain what depression feels like. At the end of Part I, the answer to your question would seem to be yes. However, the next installment showed where that sort of “courage” led her. I think you might find these interesting reading.

During my lows I can’t be arsed to do anything. Should I shower today? I could, but it is so much work…

@glacial – Allie! I have followed her forever, and was truly worried about her. Then she wrote those, and it was both extremely happy (yay, she’s alive!) and incredibly sad (to know she was in that sort of pain).

I totally get the cloorn thing, though.

Yes, I think a lot of us had the same reaction – it’s an odd sensation to feel very worried about someone I’ve never met or even interacted with. She posted a new cartoon recently!

Good question.

I think I have been functionally depressed for most of my life with ebbs and flows.

I don’t think it gave me courage esp when I was particularly down. If I did something out of the ordinary it wasn’t usually healthy but escapism. Though after starting to climb back up again I did things I thought were brave and healthy. Truth be told sometimes that was just talking to people and smiling more. Without depression I think I would have done a lot more with my life.

What it did give me was a lot of empathy for others. Insight into me and what I need and why I’m not getting it.

I am going through depression right now, and it is definitely not giving me courage. I am supposed to be going to a four-year college in the spring. Honestly, I think I would chicken out (at least temporarily) if it weren’t for this guy who is the closest thing to a mentor that I have. I brought him some info tonight for the letter of recommendation he is writing me, and he was asking me some questions about classes I’ve taken, etc. I don’t have the courage to tell him how I am dragging my feet…and I worry he would be disappointed in me, and I couldn’t bear that. So, for now, I am pushing forward. It may seem as if it is for the wrong reasons, but I want to go in the spring, I really do. It’s just that everything is so overwhelming right now, and having to go through the process of applying, etc., is wearing me out along with everything else.

I have been moderately depressed for about 10 months now, going through some big losses after a lengthy period of peace and prosperity.
No, I am not feeling courageous at this time, more like a reality based ” whatever”. lol
However…yes, in the past, a depression gave me lots of courage and the anger to boost my rocket and leave a bad marriage and start over.
My boosters need new spark plugs for the 2nd chapter of starting over.

Every time I’ve felt really down and shitty, any ’‘risk’’ that I have taken was due to not giving a shit, rather than being courageous.

@Symbeline Excellent, I agree!

@Seek_Kolinahr Wait, the author of Hyperbole is @Allie?

No no, her name is Allie. She’s not in Fluther, but she is on Reddit.

@Symbeline Great way to put it! Not giving a shit is part of what I meant.

@Coloma That is along the lines of what I was thinking. I’m mildly deoressed right now and I feel angry about it, which is motivating me to not worry about or not give a shit about some negative consequences that might happen if I finally take a risk about some things I have been thinking about for a long time.

Many years ago I was afraid to do something medical, but it was so depressing being in so much pain that even when the treatment felt like it was poisoning me I still took the medicine. I honestly wish I hadn’t, I wish I had changed meds, but I didn’t feel like I could for many reasons, I felt like it was my only shot. At the time I was willing to die trying that drug because I was so miserable in my life. If I had been more healthy and had more psychological stregnth I would not have kept taking that medicine. I did wind up in the hospital because of it.

Depression has never given me courage as such. Like @augustlan and others, it robs me of the ability to act and especially to act responsibly. I behave recklessly. The I-don’t-give-a-shit attitude has led me down very dark paths.

Depression has definitely not and never has given me courage. Like others have said, It is hard to even get out of bed in a morning.

I have had more than my share of journeys into the dark. In many cases, I did find that there was a point on the way down where I had thought it was the bottom. This place afforded me a chance to reevaluate my life and my concerns, and from the deep existential crisis came a liberating “rebirth” in some sense. I would be energized by the freedom that comes with certain realized truths.

The important thing that I later learned was that the times I thought I had hit bottom were were not even close to the bottom. The real bottom is place where inspiration, courage, and clarity are rarely seen.

To summarize, there have been times that minor depression has triggered a kind of slingshot effect that inspires courage and new clarity. But deep, true depression can grip me so hard that courage seems an impossibility. If that makes any sense.

Depression and unhappiness (which manifested itself as chronic lower back pain) got me to a wonderful psychotherapist. The work we did together enabled me to start functioning in ways that made sense for me, but it was slow and steady. I went once a week most of the time for several years.

I was able to change many things that eventually made my life happier. Is that courage? Not a word that I would choose, but perhaps.

I really enjoyed the experience.

I see your train of thought with this. In some ways, bottoming out gave me courage in the sense that, when only the shitty options remain, suddenly they seem a little more doable. That isn’t depression though, really, that’s just life backing you into a corner. Actual depression, which I have little experience with, paralyzed me with fear.

I feel I was of two different minds during the most difficult part of my life. There was the part of me that was staying strong and saying “Yeah, this sucks, but you have to do it.” That part of me was courageous and was, in part, motivated by being out of options and generally low. I don’t think that was the depressed part of me though. The depressed part of me was the part that was freaking out saying “oh my god you’ll never lead a normal life again you’re not going to be able to accomplish anything, you should probably just start setting your sights lower right now,” blah blah blah. That part of me was pretty much the opposite of courageous. It was scared and intimidated by life and it caused me to beat myself down before life could have the opportunity to do it for me. It was the part of me that wanted to give up before even starting. I think that’s what’s so difficult about depression, you become your own worst enemy.

No, depression never gives me courage. It also discourage us. Hope can encourage us.