What did you gain in middle age or old age?

I would say I am calmer too.

I learned to like myself – most of the time.

Greater awareness and acceptance of what I can and can’t do.

Integrity – which seems to encompass the acceptance, forgiveness and liking of myself and the calm and dignity that results from it which allows me to be relatively unfazed by what others think of me and all the other crap life throws at me.

I stopped letting asshole people make me feel bad for long periods of time. I still get hirt when treated badly, but instead of taking it personally I just turn it around and figure they are fuckheads.

My boobs are bigger. Just slightly, but I can tell and I hope they don’t get bigger than this. Some of it is weight gain, but even when I yo-yo a little they stay right there. When I was younger it was the first place I lost weight.

I feel like I understand life much more now and interactions between people. Mostly, I see how miscommunication happens constantly. Before I guess I was more self absorbed woth my point of view, but now I can see how much perception affects everything.

I gained a better appreciation for family and connections with people.

I gained a better ability to be in the moment. This started in my early to mid 30’s and has become stronger and stronger. It resulted in me feeling happy more often and just having a better understanding what makes me happy.

peace and joy

I am more patient.

Love for and sensitivity to animals-even insects. Much more interest in God. More interest in UFO’s. Intense, never before experienced interest in politics. Less interest in music; more interest in reading. Interest in stocks. More fears: fear of weather changes, travel, loss of friends through death. I wish I could say I’m more patient and I probably would be if my daughter didn’t keep me in a tailspin with her neediness and manipulations. She is very immature and lazy.
When I think of all this I realize I’m not the same person I was at fifty.

Ear hair.

@Aster, interesting, I too have developed compassion, even a bit of empathy, for animals and insects. For example, I avoid stepping on ants, spiders and such, have ceased knocking down wasp nests around my house (I don’t bother them and they don’t bother me), and I always feel a terrible tug in my heart when I see an animal lying dead on the road. Is it our increasing realization of our own mortality that causes that, I wonder.

Wisdom, weight and a realistic sense of futility. lol

I’ll let you know when I reach it. LOL…but semi-seriously, Another ex-husband, more grey hair, a custody fight, a long distance boyfriend I adore, a house I can’t afford to keep, intermittent pain in my back and hips and the weight I was as a teenager.

@Pachyderm_In_The_Room For me, it is more a deep awareness of the interconnectedness of everything, not so much mortality. It is an awareness of the life struggle for all creatures great and small. It is fundamental religiosity that has given man the notion that our species is somehow superior to all others. We are not.

We could have just as easily been born a sparrow or a tortoise or a blackberry vine. Lucky us. lol
The wasp has as much right to live out its life as any other organism on the planet, and seeing a dead animal is a reminder of how precarious this life is.
The squirrel wakes up to cross the road and hunt for food and never makes it back to its nest.

Little did it know it had already enjoyed its last acorn.
I relate and respect every living things struggle for survival and find it arrogant as hell to elevate ourselves as some sort of extra special life form.

Perspective. Being able to accept what is with equanimity. The time to appreciate the wonders of nature around me. I always have, but I can stop longer. I’m seldom in a lot of hurry.

Hope.

Also – about 30 pounds in weight.

Patience

Despite having earned a PhD in psychology, I was a slow learning where things applied to my own life. As I approached 50 I attained much better insight into my character strengths and weaknesses and was able to attain greater maturity, better judgment, deeper empathy for others and I became calmer and much more humble. This made me a better husband, father and friend. It took hard work and the nurturing and acceptance of my loved ones.

Today was so bizarre for me. I drove down into the belly of the monster ( Sacramento, the capitol city of Ca. ) to see an old friend who was admitted to the ER this morning for a bout of vertigo.
OMG! This little hippie country girl of over 2 decades was just shell shocked at the experience of going into a big city ER and witnessing the insanity of humanity.

My friend is 57 and has gone through a lot of health issues the last few years. A thyroid condition and blood clot that almost killed him. He was my first love, waaay back when I was 16 and he was 20.
We hooked up again for a 2 year relationship 9 years ago, when I was 44 and he was 48.

It is so hard to see this incredibly virile, handsome and intelligent man struggling with health issues.
I checked him out of the ER, drove him home and stayed for awhile.
He was so sick, vomiting in my car and hardly able to walk from the dizziness.
I was so stressed out when I got back up the hill here that I stopped for a giant glass of ale at a local mico-brewery and…..gasp, yes, a cigarette!!

Fuck it all!

Financial stability, travel, less worried about the small stuff, more self confidence, or maybe it’s just an “I’m sorry you feel that way but I won’t change who I am to fit your mold” attitude, especially towards my children. My daughters are proud of that but my son still wishes he had me wrapped around his little finger.

I can now make a mistake, and not beat myself up over it.

A cataract.

About 50 pounds.